I've had kind of a lousy week and the WWE hasn't helped. Therefore, let the b****ing commence! The draft, frankly, stunk. You know what was good about the draft? Kane. Kane is what was good. I'm thrilled to have him back on SD because I love, as in LOVE, watching him and he wasn't being used worth _____ (fill in expletive of choice here) on Raw. Maybe we'll even get a little BOD action going again, although I'm somewhat doubtful since that would be entertaining. (Note to the gods of the WWE cosmos to look that word up...in the dictionary ...under "E").
I'm not going to whine and carry on because SD lost HHH. Having him over there was too good to be true anyway. Thanks for the memories, Trips! I'm glad Kozlov wandered off to ECW. He needs to take a class in Snake Eyes. Maybe two classes. Big Show naturally needs to follow his lady love. ("But what about her 'husband'? Huh? Huh?" says the small, aggravating, wide-eyed, much-too-zealous Innocent.Fear not, gods of the cosmos: I'm expecting l'innocent to be squashed any moment now). I'm not even going to bemoan the fact that Raw clearly got the better end of the deal. Who didn't know that was going to happen?
But what the Falkland Islands is going on w/ the divas division? There are only two, count 'em two, heels left on SD, if you count Layla, who doesn't wrestle all that much. There are waaaaaaay too many faces for McCopycat to take on all by her lonesome, no matter how good she thinks she is. Oh and what...they're going to make Melina job to her so she can make the Women's title as uninteresting as she made the Diva's title? Although on an amusing side note, can y'all picture Beth with the Butterfly Belt? (Only a matter of time :-) ) ...Actually, I can imagine Santino ..cough..excuse me Santina... with it.
And on an even bigger what the Falkland Islands note: Natalya is down to ECW?!!!!!??????!!!!!!!!!!!??????? (Pause while chin is scraped off floor). Seriously WTFI !!!!!! One of the best female wrestlers currently signed and she's wasting away in the LOO (Land of Obscurity for those who don't read me much) of ECW. I know its not ours to reason why but good gravy!!! And with SD short of heels? It begins to make me give more credence to all those rumors about McCopycat bossing the divas around that all the McMinions tried to dismiss. (Even Nattie herself did and I believed her, but now I'm wondering if she was just taking one for the team. If so, I respect her for it). So there's Nattie collecting dust, along w/ Katie Lea, who has no business being there either, while Smackdowners get to watch Alicia Fox wiggle her hips. Yeah, I'll being tuning in for that come hell or highwater. No, really...I will.
I'm going to miss Maryse. I can't believe I'm typing it, but its true. I'm sorry to lose MVP - just when he was getting good, too - but I'm happy for him. John Morrison and Jericho: a few moments I won't have to dig in the fridge for snacks. Dolph Ziggler ( I'm sorry...have we been introduced?). I am violently pleased to be free of the Chloraseptic One's Kennedy-Kennedying. I'd love to hear him do a Riccola ad though. :-)That was the other good thing about the draft. For all the marketing department's "Time to Shake Things Up" blitz, this draft was singularly uninteresting. No major surprises. No major hurrahs. No thrills. No spills. No chills. No further comments, your Honor.
I mostly stay away from making predictions. First, too many people already don't and second, this is the WWE and as they say in racing: "any horse on any given day ...". But since this is Wrestlemania and to quote JR, "the most grandiose stage", I thought I'd throw my Stetson into the ring, figuratively.
Here we go:
JBL vs. Rey Mysterio: I love Rey. Everybody loves Rey. But there are rumors perhaps not so greatly exaggerated of JBL's imminent retirement. If ya need to walk, WM's the place to do it. Will the win be clean? Hell, no! Its JBL. Fortunately, RM is one of those guys who is so over, a few losses on the Most Splendid of Stages won't hurt his career.
Winner: JBL, by nefarious actions.
Jericho vs. the Legends: oh, h*ll, flip a coin. One thing is sure: it won't be Jericho.
Jeff vs. Matt: Its Jeff's time. Its that simple. He's finally on track and on a roll. He's even more over than before, if that's possible. It would be stupid to de-rail him now. (Not that WWE is exempt from stupidity. Contrarywise, oh Caterpillar.) But of the two, he's always been the more extreme by a slight margin. With all this is his favor:
Winner: Jeff
Money in the Bank: this match always goes to the next big guy, the one who is ready to move up to better things. Sentimentally, I'm rooting for Kane. The guy's starting to become WWE's Chicago Cub. But Ladder matches don't favor him and WWE is perennially idiotic about him. Punk won last year and history doesn't always repeat itself. Kofi? Too new. Mark Henry? Too annoying. Finally Finlay? Way fun, but why now? Leaving Shelton, MVP or Christian. The first two are currently in a lovely feud of their own involving the US Championship, so as much as I'd love to see MVP get the push, the probable
Winner: Christian
Diva's Battle Royal: If this were six or seven years ago and this match was about crowning Miss Wrestlemania the best bikini-boded-type pageant winner, my answer would be much different. But WWE's worked hard to move its girls away from that stereotype toward a more athletic, more respectable type of true wrestler. I applaud that. And I don't think they'll reverse themselves now. If this is going to be about getting a title shot, its down to McCool or Phoenix. The gentle patter of pins dropping during Michelle's entrances point to the latter. Otherwise, its going to be one of the returning non-resident divas. That last is where I'll put my money.
Winner:Trish Stratus (etc)
Carlito & Primo vs. John Morrison & the Miz: Carlito & Primo are going to be amazing. Key word: going. They're getting closer every time out. But this is Wrestlemania and they are not quite at the level yet to walk away w/ the Unified Tag titles.
Winners: M & M, in a h*ll of a good show
Edge vs. Cena vs. Big Show: This could go two ways: predictable or quirky. The quirky way would be to have Big Show win. It would make use of the KO he's been stumping for since he used it on the Undertaker. And it would give him a huge push. And we'd have the whole saga of inspirational love again (VG seems to be quite a muse, doesn't she?) But is BS ready for it? Predictable version: Cena finds a way to beat Edge and bring the WHC back to Raw, where it belongs, which could set up a continuing feud if Edge gets drafted. This is WWE after all.
Winner: Cena
HHH vs. RKO: If this were any other paper view, I'd strongly lean toward RKO. But this is Wrestlemania. They're going to try to pretend this is the main event. They're going to want to send the crowd home happy and satisfied, with all loose ends neatly pinned in place. That doesn't happen if RKO wins.
Winner: HHH
HBK vs. the Undertaker: The "a-duh" match on the card in terms of who wins. This one isn't going to be about winning. The beauty of this match will be its quality, how it plays out. This is going to be a clinic, the kind of show the Natural put on when he beat Sylvia, but with even more drama. This is going to be one you watch two decades from now because it is a turbulent, raw, unbridled piece of wrestling artistry. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.
My addendum to my 3/13 live review, which attempted to enlighten anyone pondering the continued presence of Maria drew a comment which noted that the face divas are always popular with the crowd as long as they perform decently, while suggesting that the heel divas are less beloved. In certain cases, I have to disagree. For example, Natalya debuted as heel, but she seems well-liked overall (no doubt due to her obvious wrestling skills) and got a decent crowd response. Maryse is another example. Again, she garnered a fairly strong crowd reaction...and mostly cheers btw. To be honest, I am liking Maryse more and more. And I think the reason is that she has the title.
Before you begin sharpening knives, hear my justification. When she first became #1 contender, any who read my blog at the time will know I was utterly dumbfounded. And its not that I think the title proves she's a great wrestler. Au contraire! She's not the best of the Smackdown bunch, but she's not the worst either. She's improved her match skills over the last few months and she's evolved well beyond the Queen of Clumsy we saw last summer. Better yet, she brings a lot to the ring besides wrestling ability. She has a wonderful sense of her character. And she doesn't forget who she is when she's in the ring; she plays it up. When she was sitting in with the announcers, she was able to add to what they were doing in a humorous and interesting way without being led by the nose, without need for Tazz to apply the Socratic method to pry out commentary. Her contributions flowed out easily and appropriately. And even there, she didn't let us forget who she was, adding her "absolutement" to the conversation in graceful French.
Maryse has used the title to add a credibility to her character she never had before. Her egotism, which before seemed to be all talk, now has some creedence. Instead of "show n' blow", she is evolving into a heel who can back up her ebullient self-confidence. The title has created the opportunity to speak more and she's come up with some cute pet lines (calling McCool her number one fan, for instance). Its clear she has a sense of how to entertain. And to a certain extent, that takes the place of what she lacks in wrestling skills. Would I put money on her being named "Miss Wrestlemania"? Not a brass farthing! But, that being said, I really have enjoyed watching her evolve and I'm pleasantly surprised by what she's done with her character. She entertains me and she's getting better and better at doing so with each opportunity she is given. ToS, Maryse! (I wish I knew how to say that en francais!)
There are a number of diva discussions going on which include the pondering of why Maria is still around and criticism of her wrestling skills (or lack thereof, as the case may be). I can answer that one. Go to a live show, oh ponderers!!! The crowd reaction for her easily trumps that of any of the other divas I've seen, with the exception of Kelly Kelly. At the 3/13 taping, Maryse's was next loudest, just slightly topping Melina's. Clearly, the audience loves Maria. Now, why they do is another debate altogther, one I'll stay away from...for now! ;-)
For those who feel it isn't, this contains details of the 3/13 SD show...I can't add much commentary regarding the 3/6 airing, having pulled a Columbus prior to the show, which caused myself and companion to arrive late. Yeah, I know, I know. Then again, McCopycat was on the mic in the first part of the show, so maybe the cosmos did us a favor (waggle of eyebrows). Our entree was during the Shelton-Jeff match, just in time to catch Jeff's Whisper in the Wind. I've said it before, and I know I'll say it again: that move is ABSOLUTELY WICKED live. I never fail to be awed by it; its such a d**n hard move and he nails it again and again. ToS Jeff! The Triple H-Umaga match was nice, with momentum shifting back and forth. Triple H hit a sweet pedigree, but eventually began to lose the advantage, much to the disappointment of the crowd, which was solidly behind him...along with Randy Orton & Co, who attacked at the conclusion of the match. There was nice bit part for the Legacy during what became the "Beat On HHH" show. HHH sold the beating for about a year and half as RKO, LLC left, concluding the taping.
3/13 opened w/ Edge vs Kofi. Again, a nice match, with an interesting contrast in styles. Its always nice to see Edge actually wrestle and he hasn't broken out that sharpshooter in awhile, so that was cool to see as well. As always, Kofi's athleticism is impressive. Miz/Morrison vs. Carlito/Primo was one of the best matches of the night, with Morrison pulling a nice selection of his trademark moves..holy hallelujah can that guy flip around! And as of Tues, he takes over from Edge the title of Best Hair in the WWE. One of the highlights of the night occurred as Carlito and Primo leaped off the ropes in concert at Miz, who threw his arms up and yelled "Whhoooooooaaaaaa"!! I don't know if the camera angle will show his face, but his wide-eyed "Oh sh**" look was hilarious live and got a big laugh from the floor section on that side. The Bellas added some nice passamenterie to the match. Next up were Shelton Benjamin & Chavo Guerrero vs. MVP and R-Truth. This was a fun match to watch, which made up for the incredible aggravation of R-Truth's entrance ("Whaz Up" ought to be buried. Buried, exhumed, broken irreparably and re-buried...in an unmarked grave. Clear enough?). A second show highlight came here. MVP's corner was closest to my section which, while Shelton was wrestling, began a chant of Shel-ton, Shel-ton", at which MVP turned around and shot out an indignant "That is just not right!". His humor was rewarded with a big laugh and an "MVP" chant, which he encouraged. I keep liking MVP more and more. In addition to being an excellent wrestler, he has real flair for comedy, which there is a current dearth of on Smackdown. Letter to the Cosmos: could ya let him do more of that? It works!
Matt's speech on the Tao of Jeff seemed heartfelt, but dragged on a bit. I was surprised at how much heel heat he was drawing though! For a guy who has been beloved as a face for so long, he's really figured out how to get everyone to hate him fast. Nice job, Matt. Jeff handlled his rebuttle eloquently and sold the somewhat sordid dog collar angle well. This was followed by a diva tag match: McCopycat and Maryse vs. Maria and Melina in a battle of the Letter M's. I found this one interesting because it is the first opportunity I have had of seeing any of these girls live. All of them did a good job in this, with any of Maria's shortcomings glossed over by lack of ring time. McCopycat's athletic ability is very clear in person; she definitely stands out in that respect, not by leaps and bounds, but enough to be noticeable. Melina did her usual memorable entrance and a solid job wrestling. as did Maryse. And while I'm on the subject, for any of you who are curious, are Maryse fans or are both, although I don't swing from that side of the plate, I must say Maryse is prettier in person than in pictures. Melina got the win when Mc refused to be tagged in.
Next on the card: Brian Kendrick vs Finlay for a MITB match spot. (Aside: who's kidding who here...as if Kendrick had any chance!). As always, a solid match from Finlay, who from what I have seen, seems to be universally liked, and with good reason! He's a fantastic wrestler, with a style which is both entertaining and effective and his chemistry with Hornswoggle ranges from comedic to endearing. Kendrick does a good job with what there is, but he just seems lost in this gimmick. It comes off as so not him. I miss his high-flying style.
The last match of the tapings was Taker vs. Koz and TG Taker pinned the Russian cleanly, because only He knows what would have happened otherwise. The crowd was 110% behind Taker, with chants ranging from "Undertaker" to "USA". This was a good match for Koz. There was some nice back and forthing - enough to keep the crowd alive. Taker hit a leg drop on the apron which was flat broke awesome. I don't know how it will come out on tv, but if it doesn't look special, then fire the cameraman. Taker got the pin & win with a Tombstone. Nice to see him doing that. (Uh..the Tombstone..or winnng, TL? Both.)
The show closed with a dark triple threat match between Edge and the Hardys. This was a solid effort from all involved. There was a classic WWE "What the Falkland Islands" moment when Edge and Matt shook hands and teamed up to attack Jeff. Edge & Matt ..f..r..i..e..n..d..s? Talk about coming full circle! And then speeding right on past as Edge turned and promptly attacked and tried to pin Matt. (Whew..back to normal.) Jeff got the eventual win with a sweet swanton. While Edge retreated, Jeff and Matt had a brotherly moment in-ring, in which Jeff tried to get Matt to shake hands. When Matt tentatively did so, Jeff Twist-of-Fated him to much applause, thereby concluding the show and the night.
