Well it's nearing an end of an era for me and everyone else as 2008 comes to a close. A lot has happened in the space of 365 days, you wouldn't think that so much can happen. I think I'll go bit by bit.

JOBS

Argh well it's been a huge rollercoaster for me on this part of my life. I lost my job along with the other girls (and guy!) being made redundant from my job at Space Engineering Services. When we found out that we weren't needed anymore we were all completely stunned, none of us had ever expected it to happen. But soon, after a while it came to the conclusion where we were all thinking about the good it turned out for us, as a few of the girls (me included) were thinking about leaving anyway. We all hated it, and I know we all still miss each other like mad but we still like to keep in contact.
Because of the credit crunch, getting a job has been very hard. I tried with all the job agencies again and I ended up temping at Shield Environmental up until October where I thought I was going for a new job in administration for the NHS, but got told the wrong thing and it buggered it all up. I ended up with a job at HMV as a christmas temp, where I found new friends and a whole new experience in retail work. I do miss HMV and the crew, they're nice people and I hope to keep in touch with them and meet up now and again. It was a huge loss, in a sense because in those few weeks I grew fond of the place. I now have my job back at Shield Environmental as permanent with mostly full knowledge of the place and the people in it (who I like as they're very nice people and Vicki went to the same school as me) so it's never a dull day in the place. It also comes with great benefits (such as being paid weekly instead of monthly on a very good salary, and a pension scheme) so I have no quarrels with that. I'm happy where I stand right now in this part of my life and I hope this carries on well for me into the New Year.

FRIENDS

In this department of my life, what can I say? In the year, I've lost a few friends who I thought were aways there for me and ended up being like the people who I dislike the most. In the end of it, I came out this year with a HUGE amount of new friends, and my old friends started talking to me again for me changing back into the person who I used to be but with a new twist to me. I found amazing new friends like Jo, Mieke, Jodie, Steph, Vyki and more. And thank you to my old friends who I now see like me for who I am now which is a better person than I was this time last year. I didn't deserve their friendship for every single **** thing that I did before, for how I used to act like an immature little ****, and for never taking their advice when they gave it. I love you all with my entire heart and soul.

RELATIONSHIPS (AND I GUESS HEALTH!)

This one is probably both the hardest and the easiest thing to write about. This time last year, I was caught in a losing fight with myself and I wasn't exactly helping myself either. I fell into a very hard depression because of my ex, and after 18 months of enduring myself in his melodrama, lies, cheating and abuse (all mental, emotional and physical - even if now he can't admit of the last one, it doesn't bother me) and my fluctuating eating problems which caused me to become skinnier than I should ever be, I finally managed to tear myself away from him.
Not long after, I met my fiance Antony. I instantly fell for his good looks, his charm, his charisma and his fantastic judge of character. He's made me overcome my depression (following coming off anti-depressants and stopping my self harming which has left lots of scars, but one's I can look at and think that I overcame a huge part in my life) and made me see how much better life is than I originally thought. He's helped me see all the wonderful friends that I have, he's taught me how to respect people and the things around me a lot more than I used to, and he's taught me a lot more of my creative side than I ever thought I had. Because of him, my health has become better - I'm eating more regularly and I've put on a lot of weight which has made me look a lot healthier than I used to be. I love him more than anything in this entire world, and I couldn't ever think of living without him. He's made me become the fun loving, happy go lucky person that I used to be, and more. If I hadn't of met him when I did, I honestly think I would be dead right now. Words cannot describe how amazing he is in my eyes.

ART

Antony made me realise that I have more talent in this area than I ever thought I had. Yeah ok, I know I'm not that great at drawing at all, but he's shown me that in the comic industry, they have 4 types of workers for a single comic - a writer, an artist, an inker, and a colourist. I'm not amazing at writing, I prefer stories than a script, and I'm not that great at drawing. But, after a bit of practise (and more) I keep getting better and better at being an inker and a colourist. My newly reformed love for comics is growing more each day and my creativity is striving for better achievement in any work that I do. My talent is slowly getting more recognised each day and I'm proud of how my skills are improving.

FAMILY

Last but not least, since meeting Antony, I've treated my family a lot better than before. When I was in my depression, I not only treated friends badly, I also treated my family horribly too when none of them deserved it. My dad has always been there for me when I've needed him. He helped me out of my debt problem, and he took Antony under his wing when we were together for only a few weeks. I'm greatful that I have such an amazing family and I will never ever take them or my friends for granted ever again.
I also found a new family, who I've grown to love just as much as my own. Antony's family since day one has welcomed me into their lives and their home and treated me like their own daughter. Diana, John, Nathaniel, Paul and little Aleshia have all been so wonderful to me (as well as his other members of family), so has Antony's friends (not to mention 2 of his exes who I love to pieces!). I no longer feel that I'm alone, and I'm looking forward to the New Year of 2009.

Ok, let's say that your friend's mum died about a year ago and she's still pretty torn up, and your own mother died a few years ago, you're not as torn up (emotionally in a sense that you only sit and cry about it once every few months or so) but you would go absolutely mental if someone said something nasty about it.

And your friend has had a major argument with another friend of yours, and he turns to her and says...

'At least I still have my mum.'

How low is that? Bare in mind he hasn't thought it through, said it and not cared. Then you say something to him about it telling him it hurt you too even though it wasn't exactly aimed at you, but it's something NOBODY should say to anyone, no matter how much you hate them. Then he turns to you telling you he has nothing to apologise for, that your friend deserved it, and to keep your nose out of it. You tell him fine, then it means that he's not a good friend if he doesn't have the decency to apologise at least to you if not to both you and your friend and that you don't want to be friends with someone so heartless. He then threatens you and your other half and calls you nasty names and tells you that you're a pathetic little person.

How would you feel?

Cuz I'd really like to know if I'm actually pathetic.

Ahh lmfao, I had a dream last night that I cheated on my fiance with Hurricane Helms!!! Was quite a graphic dream as well...which was odd. Then my fiance found out by a secret hidden camera crew, and then we were in a hotel and he let cougars in through the window. Odd.

I have the most strangest dreams ever. I can tell you, this isn't the first time I've had wrestling dreams! My friend Wayne's are just hilarious!

Wayne's dreams:

1) I dremt I was at the Keller* and Triple H turned up and started a 30 man royal rumble which anyone could sign up... of course I did and Triple H would sit by and judge if anyone had enough talent to be trained for WWE. Next thing I knew I pulled off a double A spinebuster on someone then grabbed some steel steps and threw them at someone else!! Impressed Triple H lol. He said he would train me an a few others for WWE... then I woke up I was like BAH!

(*Keller is a nightclub in Bristol.)

2) I dremt me and Big Show were having a fight in a kitchen and I was hitting him on the head with many utensils! LMAO!!!! WIN FOR A DREAM!!!

He's dreamt of more, but I can't remember what they were! All I remember is that they were so funny!

Ah yes, today I had a day off work since it's my only day off all week. I had a good friend on Deviant Art draw (what I think is meant to be his interpretation of me!) and I couldn't help but ink it! I'll colour it once I get back into the swing of doing colour work. Right now I'm mostly focused on inking. I absolutely hate when Antony says I'm just a copier and inking isn't really art. Pah! People in the comic business get paid to do that kinda stuff!! And inking AND colouring is actually pretty hard! I'd love to have that job though, I'd be happy for the rest of my life landing a job like that. I guess you could say it's my dream job!

Sooo if any of you would like to view my artwork, I have a few things up in my gallery but I got more things on www.lahmiaraven.deviantart.com that aren't only my inking and colour works, but also my own artwork and my photography (which I'm still working on. I need a nice camera first!)

Hope you enjoy!

Yes, I got my 8th tattoo done! I've put the pic up in my gallery. It did hurt a bit in some places but I kept relaxed and was fine. Tickled in some parts! It's ok now, a bit scabbed up but that's to be expected as long as no one smacks it!