So i'm like having the worst luck at the moment. Had a blazing row last night and my best friend has decided she has given up on our friendship as a result of said arguement. Hmmmm. Not really sure how to feel about that at the moment, i'm just kind of numb to it right now, it'll probably actually sink in within the next few days what has happened. I'm not looking forward to it.

I guess i can kind of judge my mood by the fact that i was writing poetry about death today. It was what i used to do when i had given up all hope and just wanted so badly to be able to die to be free. I'm sorry i'm such a depressing person, but it's all i know how to be at the moment. I'm not really sure what to with my self at the moment. For once i have no work to do and as usual i have no one to hang out with, so once again i find myself in my room alone. I should be used to this by now.

Anyway i'm gonna go now before i put everyone down. Try be happy, just so i know that some where in the world there are happy people.

ONE FINAL THING.

My spirit gone from my body,

my soul finally free, i leave you

these words in hope, you might

find comfort again soon.

I wish not to see you in black

celebrate my life in vibrancy.

With sunflowers and tulips of

contrasting colours i would love.

Celebrate my life now,

all of my achievements, and the good times.

Have fun, it's okay i will too,

reclining on a lounger in the sun.

Bury me, but do not care for me,

dont waste your days at my grave, 

let ivy grow over it and leaves fall on it,

because, big secret, i'm not there really!

Tell people of my absence,

but i've a new place to explore.

Remember me but do not mourn me,

i am at peace and so you should be.

I am with you always.