PAY-PER-VIEW NEWS:
- Check out my write-up of the recent WWE Night of Champions pay-per-view @ fans.wwe.com/ringrust/blog/2009/07/28/_n...

- The October WWE pay-per-view "Hell In A Cell" will be taking place @ the new Prudential Center in Newark, New Jersey, which is replacing the Meadowlands Arena as the place for sports & entertainment events in New Jersey. This will be WWE's 1st live event @ the Prudential, an arena which can sit a total of 18,500 people in a basketball setting. Tickets for the pay-per-view
go on sale tomorrow @ 10AM local time, with prices ranging from $28-$303 US for ringside seats & can be purchased from www.Ticketmaster.com A pre-sale's currently going on, by using the password WWENEWARK.

- The poster for the TNA No Surrender pay-per-view has been released & it features TNA's new acquisition, Bobby Lashley. An angry-looking Black Lesnar covers almost the whole poster, with the text "MMA superstar makes his epic pay-per-view in-ring return" printed @ the top. It's funny they billed him as a MMA superstar, rather than a wrestling star. You can see the poster @ bit.ly/NjuFc

- Likewise, we've received the poster for the newly-named September show, WWE Breaking Point. The poster features a black & white photo of HHH looking down, while the effect of a broken mirror covers his whole body. The poster also shows the logo of this pay-per-view which, has the G & P from "Breaking Point" combined into 1 letter. You can see the cool poster @ bit.ly/NwvRS

- TNA returns to PPV next weekend, August 16th, with Hard Justice, which will air live on PPV from Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida. Heavyweight Champion Kurt Angle versus Sting vs Either "Phenomenal" AJ Styles or "Blueprint" Matt Morgan. . .  Legends Champion Mick Foley versus Kevin Nash. . .  Tag Team champions Booker TNA & Scott Steiner versus Team 3D. . .  X Division Champion Homicide versus Samoa Joe. . .  Knockouts Champion Angelina Love versus ODB. . .  IWGP Tag Team Champions British Invasion versus Beer Money, Incorporated.

- In an interview with SkySports, Kane hinted that he could possibly be facing The Great Khali later this month @ Summerslam. "I don't have a match made yet, but The Great Khali & I have been crossing paths. If I was to speculate, I'd say yes, I have a match with Khali, but that hasn't been made yet.” The Bald Red Machine also reflects back on previous Summerslams in the interview, which you can read @ www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,11994_54...

WWE NEWS:
- WWE Hall-of-Famer Jim Ross updated his blog & you can read the latest posting @ www.jrsbarbq.com

- Chris Jericho was a hot trending topic on the popular Twitter website Sunday & even during some time Monday, with Jerichoholics writing "facts" about him similar to those people write about Chuck Norris. "Chris Jericho ordered a Big Mac @ Burger King & got 1," Tweeted a user. "Chris Jericho doesn't bowl strikes. He knocks down 1 pin & the other 9 faint." Hundreds of other similar hilarious "facts" were posted, which shot Jericho's name @ the top of the hot trends on Twitter. You can read them all @ www.twitter.com/IAmJericho Hey, that was my idea & it's supposed to be "Macho Man" Randy Savage, so I can have a ½-baked excuse to play 1 of his crummy rap songs!

- In an interview with www.BusinessWeek.com Stephanie McMahon {who heads up the creative division of World Wrestling Entertainment} revealed 3 names who'll be guest-hosting RAW in the near future. 1 of them's a former WWE creative writer, Freddie Prinze Junior ~ the husband of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" star Sarah Michelle Gellar ~ will be on RAW to promote the TV show "24". Ironically enough, "24" airs head-to-head with RAW when the show starts in January. The other 2 guest hosts are Bob Barker, the former host of "The Price is Right" & civil rights activist Reverend Al Sharpton. Blessed be. . . !

- This week's RAW Celebrity Guest Host, Jeremy Piven, had more WWE-related activity on his Twitter, than he did leading up to the show. "Hey Cena, take the torque off next time, Doctor Ken's in bad shape, so watch your back," Piven tweeted. Doctor Ken landed pretty hard & knocked his head on the mat, after being thrown outside the ring by the former RAW & Smackdown Heavyweight champion. Piven also posted several photos & a video he & Ken shot, just minutes away from the start of the show. You can see them all @ www.twitter.com/jeremypiven

TNA NEWS:
- For all the latest Total NonStop Action news, join the MySpace TNA community @ www.myspace.com/wrestlingwarlordtnafan

- On last night's episode of iMPACT! a brief vignette aired, promoting Elijah Burke's new character, "The Pope" D'Angelo Dinero. It was noted that he's "coming" on August 16th, which's when the Hard Justice pay-per-view takes place.

- Executive Shareholder Mick Foley ended up @ a live event, promoted by River City Wrestling last Saturday @ the Event Center in San Antonio, Texas, where he got up-close with 26-year-old porn star Trina Michaels. Foley was about to shove Mister Socko down her throat ~ no pun intended ~ however, the multiple-time AVN Award nominee gently directed Socko on her breast & Mickles didn't complain. However, Michaels dropped down to her knees ~ again, no pun intended ~ & gave him a low-blow & exited the ring afterward. The Hardcore Legend  then grabbed the mic & said it took him 12 hours to get to San Antonio & he didn't come all the way to get "hit. . . there." He then told Trina that "What happens @ the Event Center, stays in the Event Center." You can see the video @ bit.ly/ZzyDo

HAUGHTY HOTTIES NEWS:
- To read the coolest news on the hottest women in wrestling today, check out Shimmer's official Yahoo! Group -- sports.groups.yahoo.com/group/shimmerwre...

- Smackdown Women's champion Michelle McCool was injured during last Friday's live WWE event in Hampton Beach, New Hampshire. The referee stopped the match on the spot, after noticing what happened & McCool was helped to the back. She was defending her title against Eve Torres. The knee injury kept her out from Saturday's live event as well in Betlehem, Pennsylvania. It's not known how long Michelle will stay out of action, or how actually severe the injury is.

- UK tabloid newspaper The Sun's reporting that WWE has offered Brooke Hogan a role with the WWE multiple times, but so far she's turned down each request. "The WWE have told me that, if I ever want to become a wrestler, all I need to do's walk through the door & they'll give me a job straight away." Brooke noted that she's not really interested in doing professional wrestling, although "I'd really kick ass @ it ~ because I'm really strong & my dad's trained me up since I was 12-years-old."  The singer also said that wrestling wouldn't fit her, as she's more of a "girly girl." NO!!!!!

- SHIMMER will hold its 4th Anniversary Celebration tapings this fall @ the Eagles Club in Berwyn, Illinois. SHIMMER management & Eagles Club management are currently working on the details concerning the festivities. Look for an announcement soon!

- You can download the high resolution version of Nicholas Andrews' new SHIMMER highlight video "1 Shot" (featuring clips from Vols. 19-22 of the SHIMMER DVD series) @ www.sendspace.com/file/rptgxb

DECLARATION of INDEPENDENTS NEWS:
- To view an up-to-date listing of all the omnivorous upcoming independent shows, check out www.prowrestlingevents.tk/

- "The War To Settle The Score" is a benefit for the Muscular Dystrophy Association. The event's being held on August 22nd in Freehold, New Jersey. The show's held during ISPW's Media Week, August 10th through 16th & would like to put the word out to as many wrestling radio shows as possible. If you're interested in helping the cause, PLEASE contact Ben Keirn ASAP this week & he'll pass you on the event organisers details (Tommy Fierro) in order for you to set up interviews. He's been informed 1 of the stars from the show will be made available as a guest for your show. www.ISPWLive.com & wrestling-radio.com/?view=ISPWLive for more information.  Ben Keirn, DIRECTOR OF WWW.WRESTLING-RADIO.COM ~ ben@wrestling-radio.com

- truTV issued a press release announcing that former Minnesota Governor & 2004 WWE Hall of Famer Jesse "the body" Ventura will be hosting the series "Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura" which's scheduled to debut in late 2009. 7 episodes were ordered for now, to see how successful the series will be. "We received a very positive response when we showed a preview of the show @ this year's advertising upfront presentation, so it's very exciting to be able to greenlight it for a full series," said Marc Juris, executive vice president & general manager of truTV/IN SESSION. The preview of the show reads, "He's undertaken some of the most dangerous missions in the world as a Navy SEAL. He's body-slammed giants in the wrestling ring as a WWE superstar. He's even conquered politics as the governor of Minnesota. Now, Jesse Ventura's about to face his greatest challenge yet: uncovering the most compelling plots & schemes."

- www.PWInsider.com is reporting that WWE Hall of Famer Blackjack Mulligan suffered a stroke over the weekend. No other details were released. Mulligan, real name Robert Windham, was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in 2006 by Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, along with his old tag team partner Jack Lanza. He's the father of Barry & Kendall Windham.

- Medallion Press has announced that it signed Joe Laurinaitis for a biography book, which will be released in the beginning of next year. Titled "Road Warrior: Life As Animal & A Regular Joe", the book will cover Laurinaitis' childhood, all the way to superstardom with the NWA, WCW & WWE, along with the trouble encountered on the road & his late tag team partner Mike "Hawk" Hegstrand. This'll be a hardcover book, with a retail regular price of $25.95 US

- Former WWE Superstar The Brian Kendrick will be competing in his 1st match, since his untimely release from World Wrestling Entertainment last week, in a bout against fellow Shawn Michaels student Bryan Danielson @ a Pro Wrestling Guerrilla show, scheduled for Friday, August 28th in Reseda, California. As if that isn't enough, former SmackDown Superstar Scotty Goldman will also be in action. For more information, check out www.prowrestlingguerrilla.com/news/

HEADLINE NEWS: Lending a Hand!
- "The War To Settle The Score" is a benefit for the Muscular Dystrophy Association. The event's being held on August 22nd in Freehold, New Jersey. The show's held during ISPW's Media Week, August 10th through 16th & would like to put the word out to as many wrestling radio shows as possible. If you're interested in helping the cause, PLEASE contact Ben Keirn ASAP this week & he'll pass you on the event organisers details (Tommy Fierro) in order for you to set up interviews. He's been informed 1 of the stars from the show will be made available as a guest for your show. www.ISPWLive.com & wrestling-radio.com/?view=ISPWLive for more information.  Ben Keirn, DIRECTOR OF WWW.WRESTLING-RADIO.COM ~ ben@wrestling-radio.com

PAY-PER-VIEW NEWS: Night of Champions, Summerslam, Survivor Series, WrestleMania & More!
- Check out my write-up of the recent WWE Night of Champions pay-per-view @ fans.wwe.com/ringrust/blog/2009/07/28/_n...

- @ this point, it's highly unlikely that the UnderTaker'll be returning in time for SummerSlam. The current target date for his return's the September pay-per-view on the 13th, Breaking Point. Although, 2016 WWE Hall of Famer "HeartBreak Kid" Shawn Michaels is indeed expected to return @ SummerSlam.

- In other Summerslam news, during this week's SmackDown taping from the 1st Mariner Arena in Baltimore, Maryland, it was announced that Chris Jericho & the Big Show will defend the Unified WWE Tag Titles.  No opponents have yet to be announced.

- Speaking of which, WWE's launched the new www.SummerSlam.com, which's pretty flashly, complete with the Aerosmith theme song & animated yellow & red carnival-style graphics. It's interesting to note that Michaels, who hasn't been on WWE television since WrestleMania, is 1 of the main superstars WWE's advertising for the event.

- WWE will be returning to the Verizon Center on November 22nd for Survivor Series. Tickets for the event officially go on sale this Saturday @ 10am on www.Ticketmaster.com, but the presale's already begun. There are 2 presale passwords, which are VIPWWE & CLASSIC

- Travel packages for WrestleMania 26 will be released to the general public this week. As always, 3 different packages will be offered ~ Platinum, Gold & Silver. The difference between the 3's the seating location. For Platinum, you get within the 1st 10 ringside rows & you also go home with the collectible chair. In Gold, you get seating in the 1st raised section behind the 1st 10 ringside rows. In Silver, you get higher up & seat in the permanent stadium seats. Each travel package contains a ticket to WrestleMania Axxess, a ticket to the Hall of Fame ceremony & a gift, along with 3 night accommodation. There'll be 3 different hotels this year, with each hotel hosting the different packages. The Arizona Biltmore Hotel will be hosting the Platinum fans, The Pointe Hilton Tapatio Cliffs Resort will host the Gold group & The Pointe Hilton Squaw Peak Resort will host the Silver group. The 1-person Platinum package's going for $1,895 US, Gold for $1,247 US, while Silver for $1,064 US. Price goes down if you stay more than 1 person in the same room. Unlike previous years, all Travel Packages will be sold through www.WWEShop.com

- This also in from www.wrestling-online.com ~ "With WWE releasing their own packages for WrestleMania, we are also giving you a choice to stay with us & take advantage of our special offer for Phoenix. For the weekend of WrestleMania & for just $169 per night, you have the chance to stay @ The Ritz-Carlton, Phoenix complete with full breakfast. When getting separate tickets & adding our hotel, you'll come out much, much cheaper than buying a WWE package, especially if you're in a double occupancy. With WWE, you save a couple of hundred dollars only on double, whereas if you book your stay with our promotion, you won't have to pay twice for the hotel accommodation, as 2 or 3 people can stay in the same room for the same price. For more information & to book, check out bit.ly/Sv4aI ; Your credit card won't be charged if you make a booking, not even a deposit & you'll only pay once you complete your checkout. All reservations are handled directly by The Ritz-Carlton, Phoenix hotel."

- TNA Wrestling's announced the Bound for Glory travel packages, which offer similar deals to the WrestleMania packages that WWE offer every year. BFG will be held @ the Bren Events Center @ the University of California campus on October 18th. 2 packages ~ Platinum & Gold ~ are available, which include a ticket to the show, 3 night stay @ a hotel, VIP ticket to the Fan InterAction event the day before, 8x10 photos of each TNA Superstar on the roster, Bound For Glory PPV t-shirt & a welcome reception with TNA Superstars. Single Platinum packages, which include a guaranteed front row seat, start from $799 US, while Gold packages start from $769 US. More info @ www.TNAWrestling.com

- The dates & locations for the remainder of the TNA pay-per-views in 2009 have been announced. Hard Justice, August 16th @ Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida. . .  No Surrender, September 20th @ Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida. . .  Bound For Glory, October 18th @ the Bren Events Center in Irvine, California. . .  Turning Point, November 15th @ Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida. . .  Final Resolution, December 20th @ Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida.

- WWE's list of dates & locations for all of their 2009 PPV's as follows: Summerslam, August 23rd @ the Staples Center in Los Angeles, California. . .  Breaking Point, September 13th @ the Bell Centre in Montreal, Quebec. . .  Hell in a Cell, October 4th @ the Mellon Arena in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. . .  Bragging Rights, October 25th @ the IZOD Center in East Rutherford, New Jersey. . .  Survivor Series, November 22nd @ the Verizon Center in Washington, DC.

WWE NEWS: RAW Rumblings, Birthday Celebrations & the Smackdown Heavyweight title!
- WWE Hall-of-Famer Jim Ross updated his blog & you can read the latest posting @ www.jrsbarbq.com

- There's a degree of frustration moving through the RAW locker room, regarding how the brand has been booked in recent weeks. The feeling's that, despite gaining some potential players in the recent roster trade, RAW has stuck to its recurring HHH/John Cena/Randy Orton main-event scene. Of interest to the main event monotony's the fact that the situation comes just months after reports broke of WWE firmly committing itself to developing new top stars on its roster.

- In happier news, though, a surprise birthday party was thrown for HHH, right after RAW went off the air, which involved the whole locker room, including WWE Owner Vince McMahon & a surprise appearance by Dave "The Animal" Batista, who's also from Washington DC. The Game tried to escape the surprise, but Vinnie-Mac told him that he'd sing if the Cerebral Assassin didn't return. Eventually McMahon sang happy birthday anyway & then the fun began. The McMahonopolizer got 1 cake & splashed it in the face of the King of Kings. Batista came out & Vince & the Big Show held HHH, while the Animal splashed another cake, only for The Game to duck & it hit TBS instead. All 4 in the ring ended up in a cake-throwing contest, with the former WCW Giant getting smashed in the face the 2nd time by Vince, who quickly left the ring after throwing it. The Big Show was playing funny, slipping on the cake inside the ring & The Cerebral Assassin falling on him. You can ahve all of you rillusions of professional wrestling quashed by seeing a video of all this @ bit.ly/t8GKo

- Former Smackdown Heavyweight Champion CM Punk recently took part in an interview with the UK’s The Sun. Check out a synopsis here

- Speaking of the Smackdown Heavyweight championship, Jeff Hardy will make his 1st title defense against John Morrison on this week's episode of Smackdown. YAY!

- Evan Bourne was scheduled to appear on RAW Monday, but was pulled because creative changed their minds on what to do with him. He worked a Superstars match last week & creative had plans for him to feud with The Brian Kendrick, starting this week, but that too was nixed. Even though he'd been doing stuff with United States champion Kofi Kingston & Big Show in recent weeks ~ including a pinfall victory over Kingston ~ there were never any plans for him to wrestle in the 6-Pack Challenge for the Championship @ Night of Champions.

- It was announced during last night's episode of ECWWE, that Christian will be defending his newly-won Heavyweight Championship against "innovator of Extreme" Tommy Dreamer in an Extreme Rules Match on next week's show. Also announced last night, HHH will be wrestling Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase Junior in a Handicap Match on this coming week's episode of RAW.

- Now, don't go squirting yet, kiddies ~ you can now follow Ezekiel Jackson on Twitter @ www.twitter.com/ezekielwwe You can also follow JTG @ www.twitter.com/Jtg1284 Both accounts have been confirmed by WWE's page.

- Smackdown's Shad Gaspard was @ the recent Comic Con & had the following to say about it: "This was my 1st 'COMIC CON' & it was the best fun I’ve had in a long time. I've been a big comic book fan ever since I was a kid. . .  A lot of fans asked me what I was doing @ Comic Con this year. Well, 1st, I’m a big comic book fan & I was helping to promote a new movie I might be in next year called 'Dead & Gone'. The film currently has a $9,000,000 budget & is to be set in the US & Fiji. It's being produced by Jordan Yale Levine, Franco Sama & Fylmar Productions. Written by David Frigerio; it's an action drama about 2 brothers, 1 white, 1 black, who never met each other & come together to avenge their father's death, before the rival mob boss kills them. My character helps them get revenge. I’ve done several interviews with G4, Comic Con & more, so check out their web sites & see the interviews or read more about it on the web."  Say, wasn't that the storyline for  how the Dudley Boyz came together? . . .  Anywho, check the Cryme Tymer out @ www.myspace.com/bkbeast13

- Just in case you're mildly amused by the idea of the RAW Celebrity Guest Host. . . after NBA Superstar Shaquille O'Neal hosts RAW this coming Monday, Emmy Award-winning actor Jeremy Piven will be hosting the August 3rd show. Piven ~ the star of the new movie "The Goods: Live Hard" ~ will be there to promote his comedy, as well as have some fun with the WWE Superstars. Piven's best known for his role as Ari Gold on the hit TV show "Entourage".

- Starting from next week, John Cena's movie '12 Rounds" will be hitting theatres in several overseas locations, starting with Italy, which's pretty big on WWE. The movie will start showing there, as well as in Ecuador, on July 31st. In August, the movie hits Central America, Bolivia, India & France, while it arrives in Peru, Spain & Venezuela in September. The movie's out already on DVD & Blu-Ray here in the normal part of the world.

- WWE European DVD distributor Silver Vision has released the match listings of the upcoming Dave "The Animal" Batista 3-disc DVD set, titled "Batista: I Walk Alone". The title's a part of his current theme, performed by Saliva. The 1st disc will be a sit-down documentary style interview, covering topics such as his early days, training with Afa, WWE arrival, Evolution, family problems & much more. Discs 2 & 3 will feature 18 of his best matches, starting from Ohio Valley Wrestling, all the way to his rise in the WWE ranks. The DVD's set for release on October 20th. You can see the artwork & the list of features & matches @ bit.ly/15zpew

- In other WWE DVD news, www.Amazon.com has a deal going on the "Rise & Fall Of WCW" DVD, where if you pre-order it now & the price drops before it ships, you'll automatically be charged for the lower price instead. You can check it out @ www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0028X36EE?ie=...

TNA NEWS: Jeff & Karen's Total NonStop Action, Styles' Staph Infection & more iMPACT!
- For all the latest Total NonStop Action news, join the MySpace TNA community @ www.myspace.com/wrestlingwarlordtnafan

- The Jeff Jarrett~Karen Angle story was confirmed to be true by www.PWInsider.com proving that the anonymous caller from the Bubba the Love Sponge radio show last week was correct. The caller, who identified himself as "James from Orlando" said he worked on the TNA lot in Universal Studios & dropped the bomb that Angle's romantically involved with the TNA co-owner. The website, however, shot down the story that the 2 are living together & JJ decided to take his time off on his own, rather than being forced by TNA President Dixie Carter. Jeff & Kurt Angle had legit heat between them, when they were feuding on the screen & it's believed that Kurt knew his ex-wife was seeing Jarrett, which's why there were a lot of real emotions involved in the angle. Jeff's wife Jill died on May 23rd, 2007 ~ 8 years to the day, that his best friend Owen Hart passed away. Kurt & Karen Angle had their divorced finalized late last year. You can listen to the caller on the Bubba the Love Sponge radio show @ bit.ly/1VbXh1

- "Phenomenal" AJ Styles is doing better, after he was diagnosed with a staph infection over the weekend. Jeremy Borash on his Twitter account said he talked to the former X Division & Legends champ & said that Styles had another follow up with his doctor Monday. "Aside from the hole in my leg, I'm feeling much better," AJ said, as quoted by Borash. He also added that the Pheomenal 1 shouldn't be missing any ring time.

- TNA iMPACT! tomorrow will be running for 15 minutes extra, as Spike TV gave the go-ahead for more airtime to celebrate the 200th episode of the show. All the big TNA Superstars will be participating, including the newly-signed Taz & Bobby Lashley. The show starts @ 9PM EST on Thursday & if you DVR the show, make sure you set it to run longer than usual.

- Speaking of the former Human Suplex Machine, TNA's new arrival's been praising the company & its workers, saying he's really enjoying his new gig, after a bit of over 3 months away from the business. In a Facebook post, Taz said that he'll not, under any circumstances, be wrestling or getting physical in the ring. "I physically CAN'T WRESTLE ANYMORE!! I can't BUMP anymore. I have numbness in my right arm on a daily basis. . . I have about 40% range of motion in my neck, folks! For the 20,000,000,000th time. . . I'm DONE. Hence, why I'm an announcer," the former ECW Heavyweight champ wrote. He also mentioned that he met Samoa Joe for the 1st time on Sunday, before the pay-per-view & by the next day @ the TNA iMPACT! tapings, he felt like he knew him for 20 years. "Awesome guy, great attitude & tremendous athlete! I'm proud to work with him!"

- The planned TNA 1st iMPACT! Tour Event in Linz, Austria's canceled. No reason has been given. & the following people have been fired, in alphabetical order. . .  Simpson, Homer. That is all.

- Newfoundland TNA fans!!  Tired of not being able to see pay-per-views @ a local establishment?  Same here!  So that's why I've set up a MySpace page to help get our message across!  As per instructions on www.tnawrestling.com, if fans want to promote TNA in their local area, they can set up a "TNAtion" page on MySpace & get other fans from their area to pitch in to help get the word out locally about the great wrestling action of Total NonStop Action!  So if you wanna get TNA Wrestling pay-per-views into local bars around St. John's, or even have a dream of even the slimmest chance @ getting a house show here in the unforeseeable future, then add www.myspace.com/tnanewf as a friend & pledge your support!

HAUGHTY HOTTIES NEWS: SHIMMER, Traci Brooks Nekkid, Kiebler Spotted & More!
- To read the coolest news on the hottest women in wrestling today, check out Shimmer's official Yahoo! Group -- sports.groups.yahoo.com/group/shimmerwre...

- SHIMMER will hold its 4th Anniversary Celebration tapings this fall @ the Eagles Club in Berwyn, Illinois. SHIMMER management & Eagles Club management are currently working on the details concerning the festivities. Look for an announcement soon!

- TNA's Jeremy Borash posted on his Twitter account that a TNA Knockout has posed for Playboy & rumours are that Traci Brooks is the 1 who'll appear in her birthday suit in an upcoming issue of the popular magazine. This will mark the 1st time that a TNA Knockout appears on the magazine, as previously Playboy had an agreement with World Wrestling Entertainment. WWE's idea to move to more PG-oriented programming left the Playboy deal cold. A WWE Diva used to pose for Playboy every year, just in time for WrestleMania. It now looks that TNA took over that deal, a very important deal for the male demographic that both companies are after. The Canadian Brooks has been with TNA since 2003 & her hmm. . .  rather large chest was used as marketing, when they moved to Spike TV, with Brooks posing with a bra & a Spike necklace showing on her boobs. Certainly a great choice on TNA's part to put Brooks as their 1st Playboy girl. You can see why Brooks will do good in Playboy @ bit.ly/Kf2up ; Hey, I blogged about that shortly before WrestleMania ~ www.myspace.com/tnanewf ~ & Traci was indeed 1 of the Knockouts that I'd've liked to've seen nekkid!

- Former WWE Diva Stacy Keibler attended the 3rd Annual Matt Leinart Foundation Bowling Night Benefit last week, which was held @ the Lucky Strike Lanes in Hollywood, California. Several other C-list celebrities were in attendance as well. Keibler was looking gorgeous as always, wearing an orange top & black jeans. You can see some photos 1-handedly @ bit.ly/WtKg3

- Former WWE Women's champion Trish Stratus did an interview on The Surf on Bite TV in Canada, where she talked about several items, including her traveling show titled "Stratusphere", wrestling, yoga, fitness videos & much more. The show, which lasted 40 minutes, ended with Stratus showing the host ~ dressed in some ridiculous outfit ~ some fitness & yoga techniques. Afterward, he asked for an autograph, to which Trish said okay & 2 people brought out a huge Trish poster, where she was in a very revealing outfit & pose. She agreed to sign it, only if the host did the same pose on the floor. Pretty funny. In a poll @ the end of the show, only 8% of the fans wanted her to return to WWE, with 12% wanting her to try MMA, 38% to host the show she was on @ the moment & 42% wanting her to run for Prime Minister of Canada! You can watch the full interview @ bit.ly/7w3RH ; HA!  Trish as PM! . . .  Saaaaaaay! . . .

- Here's some news for Missy Hyatt fans: "I'm adding 2 events I'm working @ the weekend of August 1st for Justin Credible, to my fanpage right now. If you're in the Connecticutt area, come check them out."  For more information on the 1st Lady of Wrestling, go to www.facebook.com/MissyHyattFans

- Former RAW Divas champ Maryse Ouellet's currently in Birmingham, Alabama, to get her knee checked by the always-busy Doctor James Andrews. Her knee problem wasn't due to an injury she suffered lately, but rather a combination of issues that have been going for almost 6 months. Maryse dropped the Divas title on Sunday night to Mickie James, during the Night of Champions pay-per-view.

- For those of you who were wondering, "whatever happened to my favourite bootylicious CEW~NCW Valet, Samara?" check it out here ~ blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=b...

- TNA Knockout Taylor Wilde posted the following blog to her Myspace page: "Allo ladies & gents! Not only by nature am I eco-friendly, but Toronto's waist deep amongst a garbage strike. Thus, making me conscious of the amount of garbage I may be creating. I just posted my latest auction on eBay, which is the lipstick I used to make all the pristine kisses on the TNA Knockout's kiss cards. I kept the lipstick from the 1st round & used it on the 2nd as well, hence the rant about not creating any extra rub****. Bid away!!!" Follow the link @ blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=b...

- Say it ain't so, Vyper! "1st I wanna thank you all for all the love & support you've given me for the past 5 years on MySpace & 4 Years Professionally Wrestling. I've made the decision to take a break from wrestling for awhile. A hard decision to make, but it has been done. I told my bookers @ CCW, I'll no longer be attending shows @ least for now. I'm welcomed back whenever I want, so it's not over until it's over. For now though, it is. I've enjoyed wrestling & am extremely happy that I was involved in my short time. I learned a lot & met a lot of wonderful fans. For those of you who have been to the shows & seen me, it's very sad to me that I'll no longer get to see you, I wish you all well & hope you keep in contact. For my MySpace Fans/Friends. I want to thank you for always writing, checking in on me & caring to even look @ my updates. I'm keeping this MySpace page, because after all, Vyper isn't dead. I'll still be doing my modeling & updating my page regularly. But for now, no more wrestling pictures, videos or shows. I hope you'll all continue to be a fan of mine, even though I'm taking some time off. I'll be auctioning off some of my Wrestling Goodies for Animal & Children Hospitals in a few weeks. I'll also have all my old photos @ the Next CCW show for any1 to come & get 1 Free. Thank you all again, You're all so dear to me. It makes me so proud to know I have fans like you!" Keep track of Vyper @ www.myspace.com/Vyper

- You can download the high resolution version of Nicholas Andrews' new SHIMMER highlight video "1 Shot" (featuring clips from Vols. 19-22 of the SHIMMER DVD series) @ www.sendspace.com/file/rptgxb

DECLARATION of INDEPENDENTS NEWS: JBL, Hot Rod, StoneCold & the Divorster
- To view an up-to-date listing of all the omnivorous upcoming independent shows, check out www.prowrestlingevents.tk/

- Some websites started a rumour that John Brad$haw Layfield has been in discussions with TNA Wrestling, to join their company, after WWE didn't offer him anything following his last match @ WrestleMania 25. On a blog on the WWE Universe website, JBL said that he didn't have any talks with TNA, although he wishes them the very best. Brad$haw said that, in 1995, WWE Owner Vince McMahon gave him an opportunity of a lifetime & would never join a competitor, out of respect for the opportunity he was given. "Let me repeat ~ I have never had talks with TNA & they have never approached me about joining their company. . . I'm a WWE guy & will never be anything but a WWE guy." JBL also shot down the rumours of him being unhappy that WWE didn't offer him another role after WrestleMania, saying that it was his decision to move away & go home. "My relationship with WWE's as good as ever, as far as I'm concerned."  Then why am I reporting it in the Declaration of Independents. . .  jerk! . . .

- www.TMZ.COM is reporting that the Los Angeles City Attorney has filed criminal charges against WWE Hall of Famer "Rowdy" Roddy Piper for his DUI arrest on July 2nd. Piper was pulled over by the cops, when he was in Hollywood, California & was given a sobriety test on the spot. Hot Rod failed & was jailed immediately after, with bail set @ $5,000 US. Piper was charged with 1 misdemeanor count of driving under the influence & 1 count of driving without a valid license. Thursday in court, he pleaded not guilty to both charges. If he's convicted, he can face up to 6 months in jail & a $1,000 fine. He's due back in court sometime in August.

- The Detroit News has a story about former WWE Heavyweight champion & 2009 Hall of Famer StoneCold Steve Austin owing the state of California over $22,000 US in back taxes. A lien was filed against Austin for $22,024 US, on June 10th by the Los Angeles County Recorder of Deeds office. Austin moved from Texas to Los Angeles to pursue his Hollywood career.

- The divorce between Hulk Hogan & Linda Bollea's coming to a close before the case hits trial, as it's being reported that legal parties for both the Hulkster & Linda are in negotiations to settle this ugly battle & a surprise announcement could be done early next week. The WWE Hall of Famer's currently paying Linda $40,000 US per month, as per the court orders, while he has most of his assets frozen. A Judge temporarily split their belongings ~ including homes & cars ~ & put a ban on use of certain vehicles. Linda filed for divorce in November 2007, just days before Hogan was ready to start filming the new American Gladiators show in Los Angeles. Their public fights & war of words were big items in the gossip world.

- NEW FRONTIERS, Sunday August 2nd @ the Broxbourne Civic Halls.  Coach 1: Manchester, Milton Keynes, Broxbourne ~ Departs from Stockport @ 10am, Milton Keynes @ 12:30pm, then eturns to Milton Keynes approximately 11pm & Stockport approximately 1:30am ~ SOLD OUT – NO SPACES AVAILABLE. . .  Coach 2: Hull, Nottingham, Broxbourne ~ Departs from Hull @ 9:30am & from Nottingham @ 11:30am, then Returns to Nottingham approximately 12am & Hull approximately 2am ~ SOLD OUT – NO SPACES AVAILABLE. . .  Coach 3: Exeter, Swindon, Broxbourne ~ Departs Exeter @ 9am, August 2nd & departs Swindon @ 11:30am, then returns to Swindon approximately 11pm & to Exeter approximately 2am ~ LIMITED SPACES STILL AVAILABLE.  Packages cost £37 & include: Return coach travel to & from the venue from the departure point of choice. . .  Ticket to the FWA Fan Slam, which includes the FWA Unsigned show, video game competition, plus Q&A session featuring ‘The Guvnor’ Martin Stone, ‘Rockstar’ Spud, Doug Williams & Phil ‘Flash’ Barker. . .  Ticket to the main FWA show, featuring Williams, Stone, Spud, Dave Moralez, Leaders of the New School, Jody Fleisch, Jonny Storm, PAC & many more.  For further information or to book a place, please email bustrips@fwauk.com

- Classic Championship Wrestling's now on Myspace @ www.myspace.com/ccwclassic

- Scott Hall's scheduled to be wrestling Justin Credible in the main event of “Big Time Wrestling” event this Saturday, August 1st. The event will be taking place from Memorial Athletic Field in Webster, Massachusetts. More information can be found @ www.websterwrestling.com

*PLEASE NOTE*
The following wrestling show write-up bears no necessary mirror to reality, as some tag team & finisher names have been fabricated by the author for mostly-self-entertainment purposes.

* * * * *

07/26/09 on PAY-PER-VIEW from the Wachovia Center in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; now in WWE~HD

RAW commentating by 2007 WWE Hall of Famer Jerry "The King" Lawler & Michael Cole
ECWWE commentating by Josh Mathews & Slammy-Award Winning Matt Striker
Smackdown commentating by 2007 WWE Hall of Famer Jim Ross & Slammy-Award Winning Todd Grisham

before the following match, WWE Unified Tag Team champion Chris Jericho saunters to the ring, where he states that, before he introduces his new partner, he plays a video package showing what happened to his old partner, Edge; it was wrong for the ÜberStar of Jerichlean Proportions to choose the Rated-R Superstar as his partner, because he was injury-prone & selfish to get hurt while they were the WWE Unified Tag Team champions. . .  what about Y2J {wait, is Raven his mystery partner?!}, what about what the Conniving Canuck did to him, leaving him without a partner; well, that's all over now, as he's chosen somebody who's worthy to be a champion, to hold these titles & worthy to stand next to the Ayatollah of Rock Rollah in the following WWE UNIFIED TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: RAW's Rhode$ to Ri¢he$ (Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase Junior) versus champions Worst Case Scenario (the Big Show & Chris Jericho); TBS makes DiBiase Submit with a 'Colossal Clutch' Cobra Clutch Backbreaker {PSYCHOLOGY: nice, so the former WCW Giant just gets handed a belt, that sounds like a wonderful idea. . .}

backstage, ECWWE's Josh Mathews bothers Smackdown Heavyweight champion CM Punk, who doesn't want to answer any questions, but instead asks the WWE Universe if they're still behind Jeff Hardy, even after all of things that he's told them; snatching Josh's mic, the Straight-Edge Superstar mingles with the unwashed heathens, where he proclaims that they're all still gonna support a man who, for all intents & purposes, can't support himself; so, if anybody in the WWE Universe has on a Rainbow-Haired Warrior t-shirt, or 1 of those diabolical Charismatic Enigma lycra armbands {diabolical?!}, then the Heavyweight champion wants them to stand up, he wants them to stand up & let the world know; the truth's that he doesn't blame the members of the WWE Universe, he blame their parents ~ scratch that, he clearly means parent, as each "winning-handicapped" WWE Universe member who follows the Rainbow-Haired Enigma, must be from a single-parent family, just like the Charismatic Warrior himself ~ their parents are so concerned that they get enough love, that they acquiesce to their kids' every desire; Punk hates to tell them that this doesn't make the Philadelphia WWE Universers bad parents, it makes them enablers, as the fact that they allow their kids to look up to a guy like the Rainbow-Haired Charismatic Enigmatic Warrior, means that they don't really give a damn what happens to the kids in the 1st place; Punk doesn't blame anybody in the WWE Universe who follows Jeff Hardy, if they're younger than 17, because they're young & impressionable. . .  it's the parents who he blames, for not sitting their children down & teaching them the proper way to live; it starts with a Rainbow-Haired Warrior t-shirt. . .  then they're smoking a pack of cigarettes. . .  then drinking a bottle of beer. . .  then it's on to gateway drugs to heavy stuff like marijuana & the fact that the congregated WWE Universe's cheering that's all the proof that the Straight-Edge Superstar needs to declare that he's telling the truth; so how about some old-fashioned street drugs. . .  the next thing you know, they're rummaging through mom's medicine cabinet, looking for her prescription medications {yeah, keep those kids away from the horse placenta!}; all of this can be stopped before it's too late, all the parents have to do's sit their kids down & say the words that'll make all the difference in their lives; for weeks, Punk's been telling the Smackdown Universe to just say no, but tonight, he thinks the WWE Universe should just say yes. . .  to the future of a straight-edge, drug-free America. . .  to the winner of tonight's Smackdown Heavyweight championship match

ECWWE HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Christian pins champion "Innovator of Extreme" Tommy Dreamer with 'Kill Switch' Crucifix Faceplant {PSYCHOLOGY: not since 2016 WWE Hall of Famer "HeartBreak Kid" Shawn Michaels defeated the British Bulldog in England for the European title. . . !}; after the match, Dreamer & Captain Charisma embrace, making me wonder why they put a babyface-versus-babyface match after a tarheel-versus-tarheel Tag Team match

a video package plays, advertizing Summerslam, live on pay-per-view, August 23rd

backstage, Smackdown's Todd Grisham bothers WWE Unified Tag Team champions Chris Jericho & the Big Show, the latter clarifying that they don't have to be friends to be champs, it's about business; for Y2J, the best business decision was to pick TBS as his partner, he's a monster {no, that's Abyss, actually}, he's a war machine {no, that's Rhino. . . man is the ÜberStar of Jerichlean Proportions sending out a lot of props for Total NonStop Action Wrestling, or what!}, he's the biggest man in this business & he's Jericho's partner ~ they're gonna be the most dominant Tag Team in WWE history, moreso than the Hart Foundation, the British Bulldogs, the Road Warriors, all of them ~ in short, better & greater than any 2 men who have ever teamed, period; this team's about strength, size, agility & intelligence, the former WCW Giant points out that there's more tan 40 championships between them, therefore he agrees with the assessment of the King of My World, they're gonna be the most dominant Tag Team in history, which's just smart business & it's all business, except for. . .  1 slight thing; the Ayatollah of Rock & Rollah thanks Edge for making this all possible, then both men walk off with big cat-who-ate-the-canary grins in their faces

"6-PACK CHALLENGE" 6-MAN, RAW UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH: "All-American American" Jack Swagger versus Carlito Caribbean Cool versus Mike "The Miz" Mizanin versus Primo Colon versus champion Kofi Kingston versus Montell Vontavius Porter; Kofi beats 3C with a 'Trouble in Paradise' Xuanfengjiao Tornado Kick {PSYCHOLOGY: is it just me, or does this match make it look like the WWE's gonna be treating the U.S. title like TNA treats their X Division title?}

backstage, ECWWE's Josh Mathews bothers RAW Heavyweight champion "Legend Killer" Randy Orton, who stars off by saying that what happened to Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase Junior earlier in the night was unfair, who could've predicted that the Big Show would team up with Chris Jericho to defend the WWE Unified Tag Team titles; if this was singles competition, he'd beat HHH or John Cena, but you can't predict the outcome of a Triple Threat match; Orton could lose his title without even being the man pinned, but Randy's counting on the egos of his opponents to cancel each other out {just like the Game did, in his Triple Threat match against Chris Benoit & 2016 WWE Hall of Famer "HeartBreak Kid" Shawn Michaels, for the Cerebral Assassin's RAW Heavyweight title @ WrestleMania 20. . .  & we all know how that match turned out!} which means, Randy wins; maybe 1 day, the WWE Universe will stop disrespecting him, give him a standing ovation like they do for the King of Kings, or cheer him like they do for the Doctor of Thuganomics. . .  but until then, the Legend Killer'll be the RAW Heavyweight champion

SMACKDOWN WOMEN'S TITLE MATCH: champion Michelle McCool beats Melina Perez with a Cradling Pinfall {PSYCHOLOGY: by the skin of her teeth, look for Melina to take it back @ Summerslam!}

NO DISQUALIFICATION, TRIPLE THREAT, RAW HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: champion "Legend Killer" Randy Orton versus HHH versus John Cena; Orton defeats Cena with an 'RKO' Modified Ace Crusher {PSYCHOLOGY: not even close to the main event!}

backstage, RAW's Mike "The Miz" Mizanin saunters up to Divas champion Maryse Ouellet, stating that he can't wait to see her in action later tonight, which prompts the Quebecois Cutie to insinuate that maybe, later tonight, she might show him some more of her moves. . .  but actually no, as she doesn't go out with losers who don't win United States championships; well, that's the last straw, as Mizanin gives the Divas champion a reality check {no, not his finisher, but that would've been sweet!}, he's the Miz & he can get any girl he wants, so why the hell's he messing around with Ouellet; he helped her get some revenge on Mickie James, allowing Maryse to spray her in the face with her perfume or whatever it was & what did he get out of it, nothing ~ she's not a champion, she's a tease & 1 day, she's gonna lose that belt & then she's gonna beg to be begging Mike to take her back, but she's butchered her chance @ him, just like she butchers the English language everytime she opens her mouth; Chilli from TLC's seen sitting @ ringside for the following RAW DIVAS TITLE MATCH: Mickie James beats champion Maryse Ouellet with a 'Laree-DT' Implant DDT {PSYCHOLOGY: the 2nd Diva in WWE history to hold both the Divas & Women's titles. . .  which, of course, means almost nothing!}

backstage, ECWWE's Josh Mathews bothers RAW's Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase Junior, who can't stand how people harp on the negative. . .  sure, they're not the WWE Unified Tag Team champions. . .  yet. . .  but "Legend Killer" Randy Orton's still the RAW Heavyweight champion. . .  though more importantly, John Cena & HHH lost & because of that, Rhode$ to Ri¢he$ have a tremendous sense of accomplishment, step by step they're cementing their Lega¢¥

SMACKDOWN INTERCONTINTENTAL TITLE MATCH: champion Rey Mysterio Junior beats Dolph Ziggler with an 'El Colibri' Springboard Splash {PSYCHOLOGY: but what a match, look for these 2 to square off again in the near future!}

WWE Home Video presents "Allied Powers: The World's Greatest Tag Teams", a 3-disc set, available now @ all major DVD retailers & @ www.WWEShop.com

MAIN EVENT, SMACKDOWN HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Jeff Hardy defeats champion CM Punk with a 'Swanton' Arching Centon Bomb {PSYCHOLOGY: well, considering that Edge's effectively out of that title picture almost indefinitely & the Rainbow-Haired Charismatic Enigmatic Warrior's making good bank for WWE, it was a bit of a no-brainer. . .  but I do hope that John Morrison makes his way to the main event soon!}

HIGHLIGHTS: when coming out for the WWE Unified Tag Team match, the Big Show was wearing a blue & black singlet, similar to that of "Mister Perfect" Kurt Hennig; here's a disturbing realization that I made during Smackdown Heavyweight champion CM Punk's mic spot. . .  had he been wearing a thong, the belt would've made it look like he wasn't wearing any pants @ all, just from the way it draped all the way down to the groinal area {you're welcome!}; during the ring entrances of the 6-Pack Challenge, WWE Hall of Famer Jerry "The King" Lawler postulated that Mike "The Miz" Mizanin was given the key to the city of Cleveland, but the next day, the mayor changed the locks ~ classic! . . . ; during her ring entrance for the Smackdown Women's title match, Melina Perez regretted her oft-enjoyed split-legged thingie, because champion Michelle McMool did a baseball sliding dropkick into her, dropping Melina to the mats outside the ring; when was it announced that the Triple Threat, RAW Heavyweight title match was No Disqualification? . . . & why the frak do wrestlers always go for the RAW or Smackdown tables to crash through, when the ECWWE table's just sitting there, being almost completely unused? . . . I mean, Matt Striker was just sitting there, enjoying the show, after all, so why not splinter his wood; also during the Triple Threat match, HHH had "Legend Killer" Randy Orton in a 'Sharpshooter' Standing Modified Indian Leglock, then John Cena put the top ½ of the RAW Heavyweight champion into a partial 'STFU' Modified "Submission Through Fear" Stepover Toehold Facelock, making the referee almost call for the bell when Orton tapped out, but who exactly he tapped out to was in debate, so the match continued; during the Smackdown Intercontinental title match, Dolph Ziggler delivered an amazing top-rope gutbuster onto champion Rey Mysterio Junior, but sadly it didn't lead to a win; during the Smackdown Heavyweight title match, I noticed that champion CM Punk had "SEOG" written on his wrist tape; the Thrill Ride with a Pulse, known as Jeff Hardy? . . .  let's see how long that 1 lasts; after the main event match, somebody threw some action figures into the ring, which was. . .  well, amusing, I suppose. . . ; the notable signs of the night: "All Rhodes Lead to Gold". . .  "Jericho's my Sponsor". . .  "Lega¢¥, the Standard of Losers". . .  "Die Cena Die" {a sign of things to come? . . . even though Rocky Maivia wasn't as over as the Chain Gang Commander is right now, when the "Die Rocky Die" signs started appearing}. . .  "Randy Orton Sucks" {but because of the lighting, it looked more like "Randy Often Sucks", which I thought was hilarious!}. . .  "Give 'Em Hell, Johnny" {with a picture of Peter Griffin from "Family Guy" wearing a John Cena t-shirt}. . .

07/20/09 originating on USA Network {in the United States} & simulcast on the Score {in Canada}

commentating by WWE Hall of Famer Jerry "The King" Lawler & Michael Cole

from the RBC Center in Raleigh, Carolina; now in WWE~HD

John Cena Thuganomics to the ring, where he states that the word for today's "excitement" ~ when the Chain Gang Commander comes out here, he's always excited. ..  but the special thing about tonight's that, when he looks around @ all the RAW universe, he can see that they're excited. . .  why, he even assumes that the home audience's excited to hear that Rock & Roll Hall of Famers ZZ Top are hosting RAW & we're less than a week away from Night of Champions, which excites Cena even more, because the WWE Universe'll see 1 of the greatest matches of all time, as John takes on HHH & Heavyweight champion "Legend Killer" Randy Orton, but allow the Doctor of Thuganomics to run down the significance of this match. . .  2 years ago @ WrestleMania 23, that match was the Main Event, so what that means for Sunday's pay-per-view. . .  enter the Legend Killer, who slithers down to the ring & wonders what Cena's so excited about, as he recalls what happened in that match 2 years ago, Orton kicked the Game in the skull & pinned the Chain Gang Commander for the victory; this Sunday, history's gonna repeat itself, but John's not even listening, since he's still so jazzed about RAW Celebrity Guest Hosts ZZ Top, he wants to hear some music; now, when it comes to Randy's music, it mentions that he hears voices in his head, which's a little weird. . .  Cena doesn't hear voices in his head, but he does hear 10,000 voices saying that they wanna get an early start on Sunday, to start pounding Orton's face into mush; as the Heavyweight champion appears to stand ready, he then considers discretion the better part of valour & suggests that Cena rethink his strategy, as Rhode$ to Ri¢he$ surround the ring, only instigating the Doctor of Thuganomics to get ready to throw down, when suddenly the Cerebral Assassin makes his presence known, sending Lega¢¥ scampering, as the King of Kings enters the ring & mocks Randy for almost starting a fight without HHH, but he's @ a point right now where he thought he'd never get to, he really doesn't care if he or Cena win the Heavyweight championship this Sunday, he just cares that Orton doesn't leave Night of Champions with it; after last week, when Randy manhandled RAW Celebrity Guest Host Seth Green, who's no bigger than a Hobbit {even though the Game claims to not know what they are!} punked out the Legend Killer; the Cerebral Assassin & the Chain Gang Commander should get ready for history to repeat itself, because tonight they have a Tag Team match against Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase Junior, but Randy wants in. . .  well played, Randy Orton, well played indeed, concludes John Cena, who underneath that anger management problem, lurks a real evil genius ~ if he's involved in the match, then there's no way that the King of Kings & the Doctor of Thuganomics can co-exist together, as they'll be so consumed with trying to make a statement against the Heavyweight champion, that they'll lose sight of the goal; asking for this, defies all logic, it even defies all Magic 8 Ball logic, so therefore, there's no reason that the 2 of them should face the 3 members of Legacy, they'd simply self-destruct. . .  but, despite all of that, they accept; a video package plays, showing RAW Celebrity Guest Hosts ZZ Top backstage, standing in disbelief of tonight's main event, Billy Gibbons & Dusty Hill are both big WWE fans & tonight they're running the show; in steps Santino Marella, who declares ZZZZZZZZ-Top his favourite band in the universe, he knows all about Dusty Gibbons & Billy Hill. . .  anywho, ZZ Top has something special for the Milan Miracle, a big white beard & cowboy hat, but he's missing 1 little item. . .  some cheap sunglasses!

RAW 6-MAN TAG TEAM MATCH:  (Primo Colon & Jamaican Me Ballin' {United States champion Kofi Kingston & Montell Vontavius Porter}) versus American Know-How ("All-American American" Jack Swagger & Little Boy & Fat Man {Carlito Caribbean Cool & the Big Show}); Primo pins 3C with a Diving Headbutt {PSYCHOLOGY: wham~bam, thank you, ma'am!}; after the match, TBS turns on all 5 of the other men, as they're all opponents this Sunday @ Night of Champions, in a 6-Pack Challenge for the U.S. title

a video package plays, showing RAW Celebrity Guest Hosts ZZ Top getting some adulation from WWE Unified Tag Team champion Chris Jericho, who's a long-time fan of their music, so therefore Billy Gibbons & Dusty Hill must likewise be relaly big fans of his band Fozzy, since they've been around for 10 years, they must be about 25% as good as ZZ Top, eh? . . .  well, perhaps later on they can jam, even though they don't have any idea who Fozzy is, they instead opt to put Y2J in a match with "World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry; after asking how he can possibly take on the former ECWWE Heavywweight champion, Gibbons, Hill & Santino Marella shamelessly start playing "jamming"; meanwhile, the Brian Kendrick swamrms to the ring, where he proclaims that he should be the Tag Team partner for the ÜberStar of Jerichlean Proportions @ Night of Champions, because he himself was a Tag Team champion for more than a year, which' smore than WWE Hall of Famer Jerry "The King" Lawler can say; well, dem's fightin' words, as Lawler beats Kendrick with a Top-Rope Fist Drop {PSYCHOLOGY: there's no school like the old school!}

ECWWE's Josh Mathews' is up on the ring entrance stage, where he bothers Mickie James, who congratulates Divas champion Maryse Ouellet for beating her @ last week's Summer Bikini Tag Team Whatever, but this Sundays' Night of Champions, not Night of Trampions {oh no she ditn't!!}; ever since Maryse showed up on RAW, she's been prancing around like she owns the place & it's time for a reality check; out saunters Mike "The Miz" Mizanin, who offers James a Reality Check of his own, Ouellet's a real classy champion, she walks, talks & acts like a champion. . . unlike Mickie, who's gonna be working as a waittress @ a waffle house in 10 years; the Divas champion was so ridiculously sexier than James last week, it was like watching Charlize Theron wrestle Rachael Ray; that's nice, but @ least Mickie's scored on Maryse. . .  & speaking of Ouellet, guess who steps up onto the stage & starts laying slaps across hier Night of Champions opponent's chops

"World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry defeats WWE Unified Tag Team champion Chris Jericho via Disqualification After Y2J Uses a Steel Chair {PSYCHOLOGY: I'm sure he deemed it necessary!}; after the match, while trying to get 1 over on his much-larger opponent, the ÜberStar of Jerichlean Proportions makes a final mistake, falling victim to the 'World's Strongest Slam' Fallforward Slam

a video package plays, showing RAW Celebrity Guest Hosts ZZ Top talking to Santino Marella about beard conditioner, when suddenly Chavo Guerrero Junior barges in & demands better treatment, he's been abused by Hornswaggle for a number of weeks now, so what's Billy Gibbons & Dusty Hill gonna do about it. . .  well,they'll tell Chavito Heat what they're gonna do about it, they're gonna make the following RAW "ZZ TOP 'SHARP DRESSED MAN'" MATCH: Hornswaggle beats Guerrero by Stripping Off His Suit {PSYCHOLOGY: dear lord. . . !}

backstage, John Cena thanks HHH, but the states it's unnecessary; when asked if he was telling the truth when the Cerebral Assassin said that he doesn't care who wins the Heavyweight title, as long as "Legend Killer" Randy Orton doesn't leave Night of Champions with it. . .  well, the King of Kings thought that the Doctor of Thuganomics knew better than that; well, the Chain Gang Commander had to be sure, so they get ready to shut up Lega¢¥ tonight, but on Sunday, it's every man for himself

DID YOU KNOW. . . RAW's the longest-running weekly entertainment program in history, featuring more episodes than Cheers, ER & Seinfeld combined! . . . ; betcha Santino Marella knew that, as another video package plays, showing the Milan Miracle hanging out with RAW Celebrity Guest Hosts ZZ Top, who were left wondering what's been missing from the show so far. . .  well, there's Kelly Kelly, who gets tossed by Alicia Fox, who gets horfed by Gail Kim who in turn gets ousted by Rosa Mendes, who herself raises the ire of Santino Marella, who disgusts Billy Gibbons & Dusty Hill with his own bare legs

the NIGHT of CHAMPIONS CARD SO FAR: RAW Triple Threat match, Heavyweight champion "Legend Killer" Randy Orton versus John Cena versus HHH. . .  Smackdown Heavyweight champion CM Punk versus Jeff Hardy. . .  WWE Unified Tag Team champion Chris Jericho & a Mystery Partner versus RAW's Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase Junior. . .  RAW Divas champion Maryse Ouellet versus Mickie James. . .  ECWWE Heavyweight champion "Innovator of Extreme" Tomy Dreamer versus Christian. . .  RAW United States champion Kofi Kingston versus Montell Vontavius Porter versus the Big Show versus "All-American American" Jack Swagger versus Carlito Caribbean Cool versus Primo Colon in a 6-Pack Match; backstage, Y2J's stopped by Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase Junior, who might be jst as well to attack him tonight, but then they wouldn't know who his partner's gonna be on Sunday; after DiBiase points out that nobody wants to team with the King of My World, Rhodes indicates that Jericho's a 2nd-generation star. . . even though his father was a benchwarmer; ever smarmy, Y2J declares that he's held more titles than both men & their wrestling families combined, he might be condescending but he's no loser; the entire locker room's knocking @ his door to be his Tag Team partner, so it's all good for Jericho. . .  even though 1 possible partner's Heavyweight champion "Legend Killer" Randy Orton!

"ZZ TOP 'LEGS'" DIVAS TAG TEAM MATCH: K³ (Gail Kim & Kelly Kelly) versus Mocha Chocha Latté (Alicia Fox & Rosa Mendes); Fox defeats K² with a Roll-Up {PSYCHOLOGY: such sexy shenanigans!}

RAW Celebrity Guest Hosts ZZ Top finally make a live appearance, with Billy Gibbons & Dusty Hill driving out to the base of the ring entrance ramp stage in their classic 1933 Ford Hot Rod Coupe for the following MAIN EVENT, 2-ON-3 HANDICAP TAG TEAM MATCH: Ruthless Aggression (HHH & John Cena) versus Lega¢¥ (Heavyweight champion "Legend Killer" Randy Orton & Rhode$ to Ri¢he$ {Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase Junior}); the Doctor of Thuganomics pins the Legend Killer with a Roll-Up {PSYCHOLOGY: after successfully avoiding a Punt to the skull!}; after the match, as Lega¢¥ head backstage in defeat, the Game & the Chain Gang Commander stand triumphant in the ring, shaking hands

07/21/09 originating on SyFy {in the United States} & rebroadcast on Global {in Canada} the following Friday, late-night

commentating by Josh Mathews & the Slammy Award-winning Matt Striker

from the Richmond Coliseum in Richmond, Virginia; now in WWE~HD

before the following match, William Regal saunters out to the ring, where he tells Yoshi Tatsu that he truly despises all foreigners; Tatsu beats Regal with a 'Mawashi Gen' Roundhouse Kick {PSYCHOLOGY: blammo ~ it reminded me of that mat classic Regal~Benoit match that I had the honour of seeing on Velocity, several years ago!}; after the match, Yoshi treats the ECWWE Universe with some deep waist bows, out of respect for the fans

DID YOU KNOW. . . more people watched ECWWE last Tuesday, than any other program on CW, Nickelodeon, Comedy Central, Cartoon Network or ESPN! . . . ; betcha Ezekiel Jackson knew that, as he defeats Mike Williams with a 'Big & Bad' Urinagi Bomb {PSYCHOLOGY: 3 moves & the match's over ~ move over, Bad News Allen!}; after the matchm Vladimir Kozlov Ruskkies to the ring, where he eyeballs the former manservant of the Brian Kendrick, then splats poor Mike Williams a little bit more, just in case he didn't figure out from his actual match, that he was a jobber

"Gold Standard" Shelton Benjamin pins Goldust with a 'Paydirt' Leaping Reverse Space Tornado Ogawa {PSYCHOLOGY: y'know, maybe these 2 should be a Tag Team, the Golden Boyz, or the Gold Diggers, or. . .  something!}; after the match, backstage, Gregory Helms bothers "Ripper" Paul Burchill, who wants to have some comments on his opponent for tonight, Tyler Reks, but the Bizarre 1 seems to be too busy Teretting it up nearby to allow such niceties; when Burchill tries to take exception to the interruption, Goldie tries to explain that he suffered an electric shock a few years ago & he's not quite right. . .  as a matter of fact, here's a random slap across the chops to prove it; just as Paul's about to respond in kind, dear sister Katie Lea reminds him to keep focused for the following MAIN EVENT MATCH: Reks beats Burchill with a 'School Boy' Cradling Pinfall {PSYCHOLOGY: now, it might be that I just watched "Ginger Snaps" a few days ago. . . but is it just me, or is Katie Lea strongly resembling Katharine Isabelle's character of Ginger from that movie?}; after the match, the Ripper takes a piece ouf of the young upstart, knocking Tyler off of the ring apron as he's leaving the ring

Abraham Washington saunters onto the ring entrance ramp stage, where he welcomes the ECWWE Universe to the most recent edition of his show, then declares that tonight's show's gonna be bigger than previous episodes, mainly because of the overwhelming email response to his apparently-popular show & tonight he's gonna have not 1, but 2 Main Event Superstars as guests. . .  namely Heavyweight title #1 Contender Christian & champion "Innovator of Extreme" Tommy Dreamer {the latter wearing an ultra-sweet white suit}; after some small talk, Washington finally gets to some expected fat jokes, then gets down to business. . .  this Sunday @ Night of Champions, things are gonna get really ugly. . .  speaking of which, has anybody ever told the Instant Classic that he has a face for radio? . . .  well, has anybody told Abraham that he has a show fit for cable access & jokes that haven't been original since 1991? . . .  but @ least he has 1 thing right, Captain Charisma & the Innovator of Extreme are really good friends & it comes out when they're in Tag Team matches, because the Heavyweight champion understands that the Peeps' Champion's the captain, the speed, the power & the technician of the team; when asked what Dreamer brings to the table in Tag Team matches, it's the Heavyweight title. . .  well, he's champion for now, as when Christian came to ECWWE, he promised that he'd become the champ & he did, this Sunday he's gonna do it 1 more time; speaking of that, being a former champion means that the Instant Classic's lost the belt once, now who was that to again? . . .  well, it was to Tommy, but it was largely because "All-American American" Jack Swagger's a dork; just before the 2 fall fighting, Washington reels things in & regains control. . .  everybody knows that the Innovator of Extreme's so excited about returning to Philadelphia, not to revisit his ECW roots, but so that he can stuff his face with some of that famous Philly Cheesesteak; well, dem's fightin' words, LEGO Head, his returning to Philadelphia as the Heavyweight champion's a fulfillment of his life-long dream; yeah, yeah, yeah, Captain Charisma's heard it all before, but once they get to Night of Champions, what's Dreamer gonna do, take the Peeps' Champion to the Extreme? . . . well, if Tommy did that, then Christian wouldn't be here next week; okay, good enough, but if he happens to retain his title, Dreamer's not gonna start crying again, is he? . . .  Christian & Tommy are really good friends & he, above all others, should know how much of a slap in the face saying that is to the Innovator of Extreme; well, actually, this slap in the face's an even bigger slap to the face, as the pair eyeball each other uncomfortably as the show goes off the air

07/23/09 originating on WGN America {in the United States}

RAW commentating by WWE Hall of Famer Jerry "The King" Lawler & Michael Cole
ECWWE commentating by Josh Mathews & Slammy-Award-winning Matt Striker
Smackdown commentating by WWE Hall of Famer Jim Ross & the Slammy Award-winning Todd Grisham

ECWWE MATCH: Christian defeats William Regal with a 'Sunset Flip' Pinfall {PSYCHOLOGY: why, how un-American!}

RAW MATCH: Evan Bourne pins Jamie Knoble with a 'Air Bourne' 450° Shooting Star Press {PSYCHOLOGY: all typed up, the moment I saw who Evan's opponent was ~ sorry Jamie-San!}

MAIN EVENT, SMACKDOWN MATCH: John Morrison beats Kane via Disqualification After the Bald Red Machine Employs a Steel Chair {PSYCHOLOGY: well, I figured the Shaman of Sexy would win, but was unclear as to how!}; after the match, as the BalderTaker tries to take further advantage of the Guru of Greatness, until the Great Khali lumbers down to ringside, allowing Morrison the moment he needed to get his bearings back & launch his own steel chair assault on Kane

07/24/09 originating on MyNetworkTV {in the United States} & on The SCORE {in Canada}

commentating by Slammy Award-winning Todd Grisham & 2007 WWE Hall of Famer Jim Ross

from the Richmond Coliseum in Richmond, Virginia; now in WWE~HD

before the following match, Jeff Hardy EndeavourAfters to the ring, where he greets the Smackdown Universe in Virginia, then states that last week Heavyweight champion CM Punk stated that the Rainbow-Haired Warrior'd end up a statistic & that he despises the example that the Charismatic Enigma sets for the fans. . . but the Straight-Edge Superstar's gonna hate it ever more when the Charismatic Warrior wins his Heavyweight title; Punk's shoving his Straight Edge lifestyle down everybody's throat & the Rainbow-Haired Enigma hates it, but after Night of Champions, the WWE Universe's gonna be living for the moment with the Rainbow-Haired Charismatic Enigmatic Warrior; now, as for his opponent tonight, WWE Unified Tag Team champion Chris Jericho, Hardy's sure that Y2J's worried about finding a partner for Sunday night, but he really should be worried about Jeff tonight, as it's about time for the ÜberStar of Jerichlean Proportions to have his world come crumbling down; the Rainbow-Haired Charismatic Enigmatic Warrior defeats the Ayatollah of Rock & Rollah with a 'Swanton' Arching Centon Bomb {PSYCHOLOGY: considering that the WWE Unified Tag Team champion had less to gain with a win, than the #1 Contender for the Smackdown Heavyweight title, going into the pay-per-view on Sunday, it was a no-brainer to assume that Hardy'd come out on top over Jericho}

backstage, Women's champion Michelle McCool's getting herself all prettied up, marvelling @ how amazing she truly is ~ the 1st ever Divas champion & now, the 1st Diva to hold both that & her current championship. . .  why, she's guaranteed her status as the most dominant Diva ~ she'll make history here in WWE. . .  speaking of which, the make-up lady looks like she remembers a lot of WWE history, she must remember such notables as WWE Hall of Famers Fabulous Moolah, Mae Young & Sensational Sherri, even Lita & Trish Stratus. . .  in walks Melina Perez, who insists that the make-up lady not leave on her account, as Michelle still needs a lot of work. . .  but seriously, she just wants to congratulate McCool {aww, that's nice!} on being the biggest phony in WWE history {hey, wait a minute!}; Melina invoked her rematch clause @ Night of Champions, so the belt's on its way back home, but 1st, Melina suggests that Michelle get a little bit more powder. . .  namely the whole keg full of concealor!

DID YOU KNOW. . . visitors spent more time on www.WWEUniverse.com, than www.MySpace.com www.Twitter.com or www.FaceBook.com! . . . ; naw, betcha even John Morrison doesn't believe that, as a video package plays, hyping his awesomeness

the Great Khali pins Mike Knox with a 'Punjabi Plunge' Standing Chokebomb {PSYCHOLOGY: by the non-existent beard of Hermecleise, that 1 impressive chin sheet that Knoxie-Boy has now!}; after the match, the Punjabi Playby invites Kane to come into the ring, after trying in vain to distract the Farsi Flinger during his match, eventually making his way down to the ring, before once again performing a textbook reverse advancement to the locker room area

backstage, Cryme Tyme ~ aka 630s in the Tag Team Division {because they're the best, hands down!} , where today's word's "GOAT, an acronym for the Greatest of All Time" ~ speaking of which, how about that "Allied Powers" DVD, man that's awesome; in steps the Hart Dynasty, who have a bone tp pick with Shad Gaspard & JTG, since their family's featured rather heavily on the DVD & Cryme Tyme's. . .  well, isn't; yo yo yo, if there's gonna be anybody talking about Tag Teams up in herre, it's Jesse Dalton, aka Slam Masta J, because like the Fabulous Freebirds, he comes from BadStreet USA. . .  where does Natalya Neidhart, Tyson Kidd & David Hart Smith come from anyway, the rough streets of Canadia? . . . ; tell ya what, the Hardt Dynasty's headed for the ring & Cryme Tyme'd better be ready & Dalton'd better hope that they never find him

before the following match, Dolph Ziggler saunters to the ring, accompanied by Maria Kanellis, introducing himself as the new & future Intercontinental champion, after he plasters current champ, Rey Mysterio Junior, @ Night of Champions; Ziggler beats Fit Finlay via Countout {PSYCHOLOGY: after Dolph drops the Tough Irish Bastard with a 'NTN' Jumping Russian Legsweep, but apparently, pugilism's a pleasure for the former Divas trainer, so I guess it's all good! . . .}

Heavyweight champion CM Punk Killswitch Engages to the ring, where he states that he's come out here to challenge the Smackdown Universe, into seeing things his way, to just say no ~ the people who cheer Jeff Hardy are slaves to their vices & live for the moment; they wear their prescriptions on their sleeves like a badge of courage, readily abusing their medications. . .  aside from himself, there isn't a single person in this arena who hasn't abused prescription drugs or taken a recreation substance; the Straight Edge Superstar knows it's extremely difficult to be himself, but what concerns him's that nobody in the Smackdown Universe understands how much more difficult it is to live their own lives, as Punk's sure that nobody take sinto account the long-term effects of alcohol on their livers; the Smackdown Universe shouldn't cheer that, they're only doing it because it's fun. . .  but it's not gonna be funa anymore once it spirals out of control & becomes an addiction ~ sooner or later, they're just drinking to feel normal; then there's the smokers & the Heavyweight champion doesn't know what's more disgusting, a smoker polluting his or her own bodies with over 4,000 foreign chemicals. . .  or having to listen to the rooster-smacking loser try to convince themselves that they can quit whnever they want to; it's hard to quit, Punk realizes that it's very difficult to give up such a horrendous habit & takes a really strong person to attempt it. . .  but it takes an even stronger person to have not started in the 1st place; when the Smackdown Universe starts chanting for their Jeff Hardy, the Straight Edge Superstar states that there's very few people in the arena who'll ever get that monkey off their back, , never be able to pry the cigarette from their lips, or find the self-control to pour the drink from their glass, or the self-respect to take the pill out of their mouth; it can't happen if you learn to say no to temptation & that's why CM Punk's out here, to challenge the Smackdown Universe, before it's too late, to learn how to decline such vices & control themselves better; the Rainbow-Haired Warrior EndeavorAters to the ring, where he proclaims that the Heavyweight champion's got a lot of nerve ~ what he doesn't know about people, could fill a book & Punk's so stuck on himself, it's almost like he's forgotten what it's like to be human; these people say they can change, but he doesn't believe it. . .  well, he's not gonna enable the Charismatic Enigma & in fact, the Straight Edge Superstar's gonna do something that the Charismatic Warrior should've done a long time ago, just say no; with that, Punk exits the ring, leaving the Rainbow-Haired Enigma standing alone

SMACKDOWN DIVAS MATCH: Eve Torres defeats Natalya Neidhart with a 'Best Damn Moonsault, Period!' Moonsault {PSYCHOLOGY: yikes!}

backstage, WWE Unified Tag Team champion Chris Jericho bothers the Great Khali, but after telling the Punjabi Playboy that he's the forerunner for the mystery partner @ Night of Champions, Ranjun Singh translates that, while the Farsi Flinger'd be honoured to be any sort of champion, he just couldn't wrap his brain around the Ayatollah of Rock & Rollah being his partner

"R~Truth" Ron Killings pins Charlie Haas with a 'Painful Truth' Scissor Kick {PSYCHOLOGY: like lightning in a bottle, indeed!}

DID YOU KNOW. . . more males {2-65} watched Smackdown last Friday, than any program on any network! . . . ; betcha WWE Hall of Famer Jim Ross & Slammy Award winner Todd Grisham knew that, as they stand in the ring to run down the NIGHT of CHAMPIONS CARD SO FAR: RAW Triple Threat match, Heavyweight champion "Legend Killer" Randy Orton versus John Cena versus HHH. . .  Smackdown Heavyweight champion CM Punk versus Jeff Hardy. . .  WWE Unified Tag Team champion Chris Jericho & a Mystery Partner versus RAW's Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase Junior. . .  RAW Divas champion Maryse Ouellet versus Mickie James. . .  ECWWE Heavyweight champion "Innovator of Extreme" Tomy Dreamer versus Christian. . .  RAW United States champion Kofi Kingston versus Montell Vontavius Porter versus the Big Show versus "All-American American" Jack Swagger versus Carlito Caribbean Cool versus Primo Colon in a 6-Pack Match. . .  Smackdown Intercontinental champion Rey Mysterio Junior versus Dolph Ziggler; MAIN EVENT, CHAMPION VERSUS CHAMPION MATCH: Intercontinental champion Rey Mysterio Junior beats Heavyweight champion CM Punk via Disqualification After Dolph Ziggler Interferes, in This Non-Title Match {PSYCHOLOGY: shenanigans!}; after the match, Rey-Rey almost nailes a '619' Tiger Feint Kick onto his Night of Champions challenger, but gets dropped by 2 'NTN' Jumping Russian Legsweeps for his troubles; before Ziggler can have too much more fun @ Mysterio's expense, Jeff Hardy storms the ring, only to get dropped himself by a 'Go To Sleep' Falling Kneestrike in the middle of the ring

07/13/09 originating on USA Network {in the United States} & simulcast on the Score {in Canada}

commentating by WWE Hall of Famer Jerry "The King" Lawler & Michael Cole

from the Amway Arena in Orlando, Florida; now in WWE~HD

HHH Motorheads to the ring, where he catches the WWE Universe up to speed, just in case we've en living under a rock. . .  a month ago, Donald Trump became the new RAW Owner, only to sell if back to WWE Owner Vince McMahon a week later, but not before he implemented the whole Celebrity Guest Host thingie. . .  well, it's the Game's honour to introduce tonight's Host, star of television & film. . .  you may recognize him from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" or "Austin Powers", as well as having a recurring role on "Family Guy", not to mention being the Executive Producer of "Robot Chicken", ladies & gentlemen, the Cerebral Assassin's friend, Seth Green, who eco-Welcomes to the Jungle to the ring & stands dwarfed by the King of Kings, then proclaims that he's thrilled beyond belief to be the Celebrity Guest Host of RAW, he's still a little heady about this whole unlimited power ~ he can book his own matches, he can even make a 6-Person Divas Swimsuit Summer Spectacular {I wonder how long it took WWE Creative to get him to memorize that!} & in the interest of athletic spectacle that he wants to see 6 scantily-clad women rolling around with each other; that's the outside thinking that makes HHH love "Robot Chicken", where celebrities are put into outrageous situations, with the biggest celebrities falling all over themselves to guest-star on the show. . .  say, for instance, the episode that's debuting on July 26th, starring somebody who's destined to be 1 of the biggest stars on the face of the planet, it was quite the coup to get such a phenomenally-talented wrestler as the Game himself, who stars in a clip where he wrestles Dakota Fanning, after letting the air out of John Cena's tires & thus supposedly negating the need for a championship bout; Seth makes me happy when he insinuates that the Cerebral Assassin's had experience wrestling whiny little girls, ever since his 1st match against Heavyweight champion "Legend Killer" Randy Orton, which has the King of Kings asking Green to not say anything, if he can't say anything nice. . .  but in fact, he has tremendous respect for the Legend Killer & Fanning, why they even have something in common. . .  neither 1 of them have male genitalia; cue the Heavyweight champion, who saunters down to the ring & actually has something that HHH doesn't have, namely the title. . .  & if the RAW Celebrity Guest Host wants to come out here & make fun of Orton, then he clearly doesn't realize that Randy has an anger management problem, he's liable to drop anybody with an 'RKO' Modified Ace Crusher @ anytime, regardless of how big or pathetically small they might be; the Game doesn't want to tell Green what to do, but he has a suggestion for the Main Event, the Cerebral Assassin against the Legend Killer; well, Randy has a problem with that, as he's all set to defeat the King of Kings @ Night of Champions, so he sees no reason to humiliate him twice in such rapid succession; well then, why doesn't HHH just drop Randy right now. . .  but seriously, the Heavyweight champion wonders aloud why Seth's even here, has he even ever been in a real fight in his life. . .  if he's not careful, somebody might mistake him for a real man; well, that's just prime, as the Celebrity Guest Host thinks that the Legend Killer might be interested in what's going on in the Main Event, a 6-Man Tag Team match, pitting Orton & Rhode$ to Ri¢he$, against the Game, the Doctor of Thuganomics & Green himself, but 1st, the aforementioned RAW "SUMMER SWIMSUIT SPECTACULAR" 6-DIVAS TAG TEAM MATCH: the Girls of Summer (Gail Kim & We're Kelly~James, ****! {Kelly Kelly & Mickie James}) versus Neapolitan (Rosa Mendes & Marycia {Divas champion Maryse Ouellet & Alicia Fox}); Maryse pins Mickie with a 'French Kiss' DDT With Theatrics {PSYCHOLOGY: ooh la la!}; after the match, in the RAW Celebrity Guest Host's office, Seth Green attempts to introduce himself to WWE Tag Team co-champion Chris Jericho, who {surprise surprise!} has nothing but disdain for the man who takes such pride in mocking STAR WARS, yet simultaneously claiming to be a big fan himself. . .  but that's besides the point for the moment, as he should've sought out RAW's biggest star & pandered to his every wish; well, that wasn't really Seth's biggest concern, he's more concerned about giving the WWE Universe what they want, which's just 1 more thing for Y2J to have utter & total disdain for, they don't know what they want unless he tells them. . .  Green's as much a hypocrite & Pharisee as the rest of them, offering them a free "Robot Chicken" Skate Party, as he drives around the country, 1st come 1st serve, anybody can get in, which gives all the slackers 1 more reason to not go out & get a job; the Ayatollah of Rock & Rollah calls Seth a parasite & a drone, which prompts the RAW Celebrity Guest Host to ask him to leave the arena. . .  surprisingly, the ÜberStar of Jerichlean Proportions has no interest in doing that, as he has something to say & he's gonna say it

WWE Home Video presents "Allied Powers: The World's Greatest Tag Teams", "Rey Mysterio: Littlest Big Man", "Judgment Day 2009" & "Macho Madness: the Randy Savage Ultimate Collection", available now @ all major DVD retailers & @ www.WWEShop.com

a video package plays, hyping John Cena's "12 Rounds", on DVD & Blu-Ray now, so for the love of all things holy, go buy a copy, or they'll make another 1 that's even worse! . . .

before the following match, Primo Colon latinos about something-or-other, then calls out Carlito Caribbean Cool, to get vengeance on what happened last week. . .  but instead, Mike "The Miz" Mizanin saunters out to the ring, where he mocks the relative unimportance of Primo in the concerns of 3C, then interjects himself into this match, where he beats Primo with a 'Awesomeness' Full-Nelson Forward Russian Legsweep {PSYCHOLOGY: because he's the Miz & he's awesome!}; after the match, Carlito, who'd sauntered to the ring during the bout, entered the ring & started laying the boots to his younger brother, before taking a honking-big bite out of an apple & spitting it in Primo's face

in the RAW Celebrity Guest Host's office, Seth Green promises to give Hornswaggle a rematch with Chavo Guerrero Junior, but this time Chavito Heat'll have 1 arm tied behind his back; as the leprechaun scampers away, in steps the Big Show, who suggests that Green watch his match tonight, to get an idea of how a man of Seth's size fares in WWE. . .  but if the RAW Celebrity Guest Host wants some better advice from TBS, it'll cost him. . .  $1,000,000! . . .  BWAAAAAAAA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-{hic!}-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAA!

"All-American American" Jack Swagger defeats Montell Vontavius Porter with an 'Orthodontist's Dream' Gutwrench Powerbomb {PSYCHOLOGY: now how was that for a classic match?!}

a video package plays, advertizing Night of Champions, live on pay-per-view, July 26th in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; DID YOU KNOW. . . visitors spent more time on www.WWEUniverse.com, than www.MySpace.com www.Twitter.com or www.FaceBook.com! . . . ; betcha WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion Chris Jericho's having a hard time swallowing that bit of tripe, as he ÜberStar of Jerichlean Proportions to the ring with a clipboard, where he proclaims that, for the 1st time in WWE history, the Tag Team titles are held by 1 man, but what's not surprising's that they're held by the man who's the best @ what he does; Y2J finds it ironic that WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion Edge, much like the Greek mythological character of Achilles, were both nigh-indestructable warriors who were taken down by an injury to their ankles, which led to their mutual downfalls; the Ayatollah of Rock & Rollah should've known better than to choose a Tag Team partner as frail & brittle as the Rated-R Superstar, but he took a chance. . .  which blew up in his face; the Conniving Canuck was the weak link of their team, it's so obvious now. . .  & Jericho should in no way be punished for Edge's imperfections; since it's obvious that Chris can't defend the WWE Unified Tag Team championships by himself against Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase Junior, the parasites & hypocrites must surely think that he should be stripped of those titles tonight. . .  or maybe they think RAW Celebrity Guest Host Seth Green will commission a 1-night Tag Team tournament, but that's not gonna happen, as Y2J's too smart for that. . .  when he agreed to the match @ Night of Champions, he put a stipulation in his contract that, in the very-likely event that Edge got injured before July 26th, then the ÜberStar of Jerichlean Proportions had the right to pick a new partner ~  somebody who's the exact opposite of the Rated-R Superstar, somebody who's intelligent, devious, cunning & worthy of standing in the ring across from the Ayatollah of Rock & Rollah, a truthful, honest & just man; out stomps "World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry, who's apparently the exact type of partner that Jericho had in mind; the former Sexual Chocolate asks the WWE Universe if they think that they'd be a great team, then Henry reveals that he didn't come out here to be Y2J's partner. . .  he came out here to be his opponent, as Mark starts tearing Chris' suit off of his back, then starts seriously beating down the WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion with great zeal; Y2J, left only in his pants & tie, starts scampering back to the locker room, then contemplates getting back into the ring to make it an official match, where the World's Strongest Man beats the ÜberStar of Jerichlean Proportions via Countout {PSYCHOLOGY: indeed, 2 weeks in a row for Henry!}

RAW "SPECIAL STIPULATION" MATCH: Hornswaggle defeats Chavo Guerrero Junior with a 'Very Small Package' Cradling Pinfall {PSYCHOLOGY: so we didn't even get to see who does a better Frog Splash!}

backstage, Heavyweight champion "Legend Killer" Randy Orton & Ted DiBiase Junior comment on the actions of last week's RAW Celebrity Guest Host, namely "$1,000,000 Man" Ted DiBiase, who just wants his son to be a carbon copy of himself, but the senior DiBiase has to realize that Junior's his own man; in walks Cody Rhodes, who states that his father, WWE Hall of Famer "American Dream" Dusty Rhodes, might be the RAW Celebrity Guest Host next week, which suits him fine, since he has a good relationship with the Son of a Plumber. . .  but there's no time for that now, as Rhode$ to Ri¢he$ have a job, divide & conquer on John Cena & HHH. . .  but hands off Seth Green, he's all Randy's

United States champion Kofi Kingston joins Lawler & Cole @ ringside for special guest commentary for the following match, where the Big Show makes Evan Bourne Submit with a 'Colossal Clutch' Cobra Clutch Backbreaker {PSYCHOLOGY: finally, a name for the move. . .  lame though it might be!}; after the match, when it's clear that TBS isn't interested in breaking the hold, the U.S. champion leaps into action, kicking the former WCW Giant in the back of the head & sending him scampering backstage

the NIGHT of CHAMPIONS CARD SO FAR: RAW Triple Threat match, Heavyweight champion "Legend Killer" Randy Orton versus John Cena versus HHH. . .  Smackdown Heavyweight champion CM Punk versus Jeff Hardy. . .  WWE Unified Tag Team champion Chris Jericho & a Mystery Partner versus RAW's Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase Junior. . .  RAW Divas champion Maryse Ouellet versus Mickie James; backstage, Santino Marella's effortlessly earning his paycheque by playing with some WWE action figures, having his own beating up WWE Hall of Famer the Iron Sheik, only to have Trish Stratus' figure make out with him; the camera pulls out to show RAW Celebrity Guest Host Seth Green watching with a very bemused expression, until HHH & John Cena enter, then it's all business, as the Game & the Doctor of Thuganomics give him a quick pep talk; it's a good thing that Green's in the best shape of his life ~ pardon him while he takes a puff of his asthma inhaler ~ but just in case, maybe Seth'd better just hang back & let the Cerebral Assassin & the Chain Gang Commander take care of the action; before the following match, it's announced that classic rock band ZZ Top will be the RAW Celebrity Guest Hosts for next week; MAIN EVENT, 6-MAN TAG TEAM MATCH: the Most Bestest 6-Man Tag Team in The History of Ever! (the RAW Celebrity Guest Host & Ruthless Aggression {the King of Kings & the Captain Wignificent}) versus Lega¢¥ (Heavyweight champion "Legend Killer" Randy Orton & Rhode$ to Ri¢he$ {Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase Junior}) Goes To a Double-Disqualification After Lega¢¥ Bring Steel Chairs Into the Ring, then HHH Brings in His Trusty Sledgehammer {PSYCHOLOGY: 10 minutes, including ring entrances ~ not since Mancow versus WWE Hall of Famer Jimmy "Mouth of the South" Hart have I ever even contemplated a worse idea, as having a Celebrity Guest Host taking part in a Main Event match on WWE's #1 show!!}; after the match, the Game hoists the RAW Celebrity Guest Host onto his beefy shoulder, while Orton, Rhodes & DiBiase look on & seethe

07/14/09 originating on SyFy {in the United States} & rebroadcast on Global {in Canada} the following Friday, late-night

commentating by Josh Mathews & the Slammy Award-winning Matt Striker

from the American Airlines Arena in Miami, Florida; now in WWE~HD

Vladimir Kozlov Russkies to the ringside area for special guest commentary for the following match, where "Gold Standard" Shelton Benjamin pins Christian with a 'Paydirt' Leaping Reverse Space Tornado Ogawa {PSYCHOLOGY: after some rather hardcore working over of the Instant Classic's shoulder!}

backstage, Gregory Helms bothers Ezekiel Jackson, who's happy with the 1st impression he made last week, he's no longer in the rather annoying shadow of The Brian Kendrick, so he's sure to have an easy trip to the top of Tuesday nights

DID YOU KNOW. . . last month, over 100,000,000 photos of WWE Divas were viewed on www.WWE.com! . . . ; betcha Yoshi Tatsu knew that, as he beats "Ripper" Paul Burchill with a 'Mawashi Gen' Roundhouse Kick {PSYCHOLOGY: kou un, Naofumi-san!}

in the General Manager's office, Tiffany's texting to somebody, when Tyler Reks walks in & states that he can't wait to have his debut on ECWWE; well, she thinks that can be arranged. . .

Zack Ryder defeats Goldust with a 'Zack Attack' Inverted Overdriver {PSYCHOLOGY: in Dustin's ECWWE debut, no less!}

Sheamus O'Shaunessy saunters to the ring, where he declares his path's that of the Celtic Warrior & no simple local jobber's gonna stand in his way of running roughshod over everybody on WWE's 3rd-rated program; Sheamus pins Roman Cornell with a 'Dublin Dervish' Side Slam Backbreaker {PSYCHOLOGY: man, this guy's paler than any wrestler I've ever seen!}

MAIN EVENT MATCH: Vladimir Kozlov beats Heavyweight champion "Innovator of Extreme" Tommy Dreamer with a 'Cold War' 1-Handed Chokebomb in This Non-Title Match {PSYCHOLOGY: perestroika nyet!}; after the match, the Moscow Mauler starts to manhandle the champion, when the Peeps' Champion storms the ring, only to accidentally hit Dreamer, then get stormed back by Kozlov, who leaves both men laying in the ring

07/16/09 originating on WGN America {in the United States}

RAW commentating by WWE Hall of Famer Jerry "The King" Lawler & Michael Cole
ECWWE commentating by Josh Mathews & Slammy-Award-winning Matt Striker
Smackdown commentating by WWE Hall of Famer Jim Ross & the Slammy Award-winning Todd Grisham

from the Amway Arena in Orlando, Florida; now in WWE~HD

SMACKDOWN TAG TEAM MATCH: Cryme Tyme (Shad Gaspard & JTG) versus the Calgary Bulldogs (Tyson Kidd & David Hart Smith); JTG defeats Kidd with a 'Cutthroat' Double-Arm Bacbreaker {PSYCHOLOGY: with Natalya Neidhart bad-mouthing the Brooklyn Crooklyns all the while!}

DID YOU KNOW. . . RAW's John Cena's granted over 125 wishes for the Make-a-Wish Foundation, more than any other Superstar in WWE history! . . . ; betcha Smackdown Intercontinental champion Rey Mysterio Junior knew that, as he Boyakas to the ring & Latinos to the WWE Universe, before reminding us that last Friday night, he defeated WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion Chris Jericho to retain his title, then goes back to Latinoing a little, before stating that his celebration was unfortunately cut short by Dolph Ziggler, who jumped Rey-Rey from behind, instead of face-to-face like a man; out saunters Ziggler, who 1st introduces himself, then proclaims that after what he did last week, it's a name that Mysterio & the rest of the WWE Universe will never forget; well, if Dolph wants to come out here & make a name for himself, it's not gonna be @ the Intercdontinental champion's defense, he's not the 1st guy to dye his heair blond, do a coupla pushups & strut around like a peacock ~ Rey-Rey's been performing for years & has beaten better than Ziggler, which makes to former Spirit Squader laugh, if the Biggest Little Man's so sure that he can defeat the brash & cocky Ohian, then he should put the I-C belt on the line @ Night of Champions; well, that's just prime, since Mysterio's more than willing to introduce Dolph to the '619' Tiger Feint Kick, but he's gonna have to come on down to the ring in order to get that; after getting as far as the ring steps, Ziggler decides that he's not into getting kicked in the face, so he starts to bid a hasty retreat, which's briefly thwarted by the Intercontinental champion, until the brash rookie successfully manages to escape

ECWWE DIVAS MATCH: Brie Bella pins Katie Lea Burchill with a 'School Girl' Roll-Up {PSYCHOLOGY: I too wish the Bella Twins were Triplets!}

MAIN EVENT, RAW MATCH: the Big Show beats United States champion Kofi Kingston with a 'Goozle' Chokeslam in This Non-Title Match {PSYCHOLOGY: well, I guess we have a U.S. title challenger for Night of Champions!}

07/17/09 originating on MyNetworkTV {in the United States} & on The SCORE {in Canada}

commentating by Slammy Award-winning Todd Grisham & 2007 WWE Hall of Famer Jim Ross

from the American Airlines Arena in Miami, Florida; now in WWE~HD

Jeff Hardy EndeavorAfters to the ring, where he states that last week Heavyweight champion CM Punk came onto this show & made a shocking revelation, that being that the Charismatic Enigma faked his eye injury & besides that, he's a druggie. . .  well, everybody makes mistakes, the Rainbow-Haired Warrior was suspended twice for Wellness Policy violations, he's admitted that. . .  but he hasn't failed a test in over a year & he's never been to rehab, choosing to instead heal himself & @ Night of Champions, he'll defeat the Straight-Edge Superstar; well, speak of the devil, as Punk Killswitch Engages to the ring & states that he's taken aback @ the reaction of the Smackdown Universe, cheering because he hasn't failed a drug test in over a year. . .  that's not an accomplishment, since the Heavyweight champion has never failed 1. . .  ever; Hardy just doesn't get it, those who don't learn from history, are doomed to repeat it. . .  how many tests did he fail, how many classes did he skip; but Punk's not Jeff's guidance counselor, but maybe the Rainbow-Haired Enigma should wish that he'd been, because maybe he wouldn't've drank or smoked, he wouldn't've been on the destructive path that he's on right now; the Charismatic Warrior comes out on national television & admits that he failed 2 drug tests & then brags about never having gone to rehab ~ who does he think he is. . . well, as a matter of fact, he's the next Heavyweight champion; but a man like Hardy could never beat the Straight-Edge Superstar ~ alcohol's never touched his lips & it never will, he's never smoked or done drugs & likely never will, a year from now he'll still be champion, while Jeff'll just fall back into his vices; the Rainbow-Haired Charismatic Enigmatic Warrior apologizes for not being as perfect as the Heavyweight champion, but Punk just ends up turning that back on his protagonist, there's a sea of kids out in the Smackdown Universe wearing Jeff Hardy t-shirts & that scares CM, there's 1,000,000 little kids out there who are gonna see their hero become just another statistic; well, dem's fightin' words, as Hardy takes some swings @ the Heavyweight champion, who elects to be the bigger man & exercizes discretion as the better part of valour, since he has a match coming up next, where John Morrison defeats the Straight-Edge Superstar with a Cradling Pinfall in This Non-Title Match {PSYCHOLOGY: the Heavyweight champion. . .  in the opening match. . .  funny, how I don't remember the last time Total NonStop Action Wrestling had its Heavyweight champion compete in the opening bout of iMPACT!}; after the match, the Shaman of Sexy extends his hand, which Punk ignores & leaves the ring, grabs his gold & heading for the showers

WWE Home Video presents "Allied Powers: The World's Greatest Tag Teams", a 3-disc set, available now @ all major DVD retailers & @ www.WWEShop.com

Layla El babeliciouses to the ring, where she gives a shout-out to the Miami Heat fans, where she promises to heat things up, just like old times, so she busts into a dance routine geared toward males 18-35, then unfortunately gets joined by Ricky Ortiz, who swaggers to the ring & tosses out some Rally Towels, then asks the stupidest question I've heard in ages, whether El thinks that the Smackdown Universe wants to see her dance, they need motivation, because he can;t recall when the Miami Heat was any good. . .  fortunately, he's here to Rally Up the floundering ns, then gives his personal Rally Towel to Layla

backstage, Cryme Tyme ~ aka Bottle Popperz, aka Street Souljas, aka Livin' the Life Boyz {because til the game ends, when the clock stops, they're gonna post up, on the top spot}, where today's word's "Championized: to engross 1self entirely @ a championship level, whereas a person becomes a champion in all respects" ~ Night of Champions' only 2 weeks away & Shad mightn't like to brag, but he hangs out with champions on a regular basis. . .  in fact, there's 1 here tonight, none other than NFC champion, from the Arizona Cardinals, Antrel Rolle, who slaps skin with Cryme Tyme, then tries to slap something else of Eve Torres'. . .  when all of a sudden, Jesse Dalton wiggers into frame, aka Slam Masta J, so what's goin' down dawg, what say they go hit some clubs on the South Beach & get championized tonight; when Rolle'd rather hang out with a righteous sista & some brothas, Jesse keeps asking why they gotta keep doin' him this way

DID YOU KNOW. . . last Friday, more people under 18 watched Smackdown than any other program on ABC, NBC, Fox, the CW or CBS! . . . ; betcha Kane knew that, as he pins "R~Truth" Ron Killings with a Straight-Kick to the Face {PSYCHOLOGY: did I seriously just hear JR comparing R~Truth to Cassias Clay?!}; after the match, the Great Khali & Ranjun Singh saunter down to the ring, where the Punjabi Playboy distracts the Bald Red Machine from a dropkick from Killings, which sends the BalderTaker to the arena floor, opening up an easy avenue of escape for Kane; a video package plays, showing how earlier today, "R~Truth" Ron Killings was @ Miami Beach, doing his best "heterosexually-challenged" impression of Pretty Ricky, looking for the honeys & thanking tourists for welcoming him to that part of the world; when he finds some of those aforementioned honeys, he informs them that his government name's Delicious, he has a GQ shoot to go to in a little bit, but he's just like everybody else, he wants his dreams to come true; too bad there's a Latina walking around South Beach who wouldn't give him a kiss with those teeth, even if he gave her $1,000

6-PERSON MIXED TAG TEAM MATCH: the Hart Dynasty (Natalya Neidhart & the Calgary Bulldogs {Tyson Kidd & David Hart Smith) versus a Righteous Sista & Some Brothas (Eve Torres & Cryme Tyme {Shad Gaspard & JTG}); Neidhart beats Torres with a 'MatRat' Discus Clothesline {PSYCHOLOGY: am I the only person who thinks that Natalya looks good in those pants? . . .}

backstage, Dolph Ziggler's doing some elevated pushups in preparation for his upcoming match, when Maria Kanellis walks on by, giving his bicep a kiss for good luck! . . . ; DID YOU KNOW. . . WWE offers all U.S. Military personnel free tickets to its live events in the United States! . . . ; betcha WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion Edge knew that, as he joins Ross & Grisham via satellite from his home, where the Rated-R Superstar reminds us that he's been in this business for 17 years, as of July 1st & he'd be lying if he said he'd accomplish everything that he's done in this industry ~ 9-time Heavyweight champion, he's been a leader in the locker room & he's conquered every challenge that's been put in front of him; he's had a coupla setbacks & injuries along the way, but he's always been of the mentality of rising above, getting back in the saddle, that's the way he's wired. . .  but with that being said & he hates to even have to say this, this injury could end his career; his torn Achilles Tendon's the hardest injury to come back from in normal life, let alone the life above which's lived by the average WWE Superstar or Diva, so he's gonna do everything in his power to get back here & once again become champion; when asked about fellow WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion, the Conniving Canuck states that there's no good time to get injured. . . speaking of whom, the Ayatollah of Rock & Rollah smarms to the ring & tells Edge that he's making the ÜberStar of Jerichlean Proportions sick & he's a miserable excuse for a human being, Y2J's not gonna listen to this hypocritical diatribe any longer; sitting there on his cozy couch in his little home. . .  a hang-dog miserable look on his face. . .  if the Rated-R Superstar's looking for sympathy, he's sure as hell not gonna get it from the King of My World, because it's clear that the Conniving Canuck doesn't care about the WWE Unified Tag Team titles, the WWE itself & most of all, Jericho ~ Chris isn't gonna allow himself to be punished, because of Edge's selfish actions, which's why @ Night of Champions, he's gonna find a partner who's better than the Rated-R Superstar & retain his hard-won titles; the Conniving Canuck can regale us with the tales of how he won all those titles, due to politicking, being in the right place @ the right time. . .  whereas, every championship that the Ayatollah of Rock & Rollah's ever won was due to his extreme awesomeness, he's earned his title of the best in the world @ what he does; let's run down the injuries of Edge ~ a broken neck, a torn pectoral & now a ruptured Achilles tendon. . .  why, it's almost as though the Rated-R Superstar's injury-prone, while the ÜberStar of Jerichlean Proportions has never been injured in his life; let's be honest, the Conniving Canuck's never been in Jericho's league & the fact that he's pandering to the worms & Pharisees, just proves his point ~ Edge was the weak link in their team, proving once & for all that Y2J's the superior specimen; well, while the Rated-R Superstar mightn't ever been the bastion of moral rectitude in WWE, he doesn't feel its' justified for Jericho to come out here & launch this personal attack on his character & durability; tell you what, there's lots of people in the Smackdown Universe who'll likely agree with all that the King of My World just said about the Conniving Canuck, but when he makes his return to the squared circle, he'll prove everybody wrong; well anywho, Heavyweight champion CM Punk joins Ross & Grisham @ ringside for special guest commentary for the following MAIN EVENT, TAG TEAM MATCH: the High-Flying Enigmas (Intercontinental champion Rey Mysterio Junior & Jeff Hardy) versus Life's Winners (WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion Chris Jericho & Dolph Ziggler); Hardy defeats Jericho via Disqualification After Punk Interferes {PSYCHOLOGY: why, of course he does!}; after the match, while the Heavyweight champion distracts the Rainbow-Haired Warrior, Dolph Ziggler takes out the Intercontinental champion, then Y2J applies a 'King Crab' Boston Crab onto the Charismatic Enigma

a video package plays, hyping John Cena's "12 Rounds", on DVD & Blu-Ray now, so for the love of all things holy, go buy a copy, or they'll make another 1 that's even worse! . . .