10/26/09 originating on USA Network {in the United States} & simulcast on the Score {in Canada}
commentating by WWE Hall of Famer Jerry "The King" Lawler & Michael Cole
from the HSBC Arena in Buffalo, New York; now in WWE~HD
WWE Unified Tag Team champions Chris Jericho & the Big Show saunter to the ring, where the Ayatollah of Rock & Rollah shows off the Bragging Rights Trophy that Team Smackdown won the night before, then the Former WCW Giant declares that despite what happened @ the pay-per-view, he's still a proud member of the RAW-ster; whoa, Y2J states that TBS doesn't have to explain himself to these parasites, let's here it for Smackdown, the clearly-superior show. . . besides, Big Show's loyalty to his partner & his team supercedes his loyalty to RAW & that's something that's gonna stick in the craw of these amoebas in the RAW Universe; so, listen, the Big Show's got something he needs to tell the ÜberStar of Jerichlean Proportions. . . yeah, he knows, it's great that the former WCW Giant ended the party train of D-Generation X, there's no mirth or merriment coming from their camp tonight, they're embarrassed for what TBS did to Team RAW last night, having punched HHH right in the face & as a result, Team Smackdown came out triumphant. . . not that they wouldn't've won anyway, because the King of My World was the team captain, the mastermind behind the whole team's strategy; listen, what TBS did @ Bragging Rights, he did for himself, there's only 1 thing that's more important to him than his team or his show & that's his career, so he struck a deal with Smackdown General Manager Theodore R. Long to secure the win for Friday nights & Chris' looking @ the next opponent for the Smackdown Heavyweight title @ Survivor Series, against the UnderTaker; whoa, there, Sparky, Big Show never cleared this with Jericho. . . TBS agrees, he didn't, because he doesn't have to clear everything through his WWE Unified Tag Team champion partner, but just as both men are starting to get heated with their argument, Celebrity Guest Hosts Kyle Busch & Joey Logano from NASCAR are seen out in the parking lot, burning rubber, before entering the arena to a raucous round of applause, accompanied to the ring by the Bella Twins; Busch declares that this is how you make an entrance, they're both big WWE fans & therefore are honoured by being here, but they're not too thrilled with the actions of the WWE Unified Tag Team champions last night, especially for the apparent spoils that their actions garnered. . . but he's a man's man & he can see where TBS' coming from, so he's ultimately in agreement with what he did; after Kyle shakes the former WCW Giant's hand, Logano decides that he can't do the same, he can't believe what TBS did to Team RAW last night, that's not impressive, that's just weak; y'know, maybe the Big Show should track Joey a little respect. . . yeah, Busch hears him, Joey doesn't know a lot about championships & what they're here for's to win 1, they're here to help host RAW make this show possible, they're in Buffalo man, a city that hasn't made it to the playoffs since Hulkamania. . . & they bring TO in, what's he done, next thing you know, they're gonna be singing O Canada; well, dem's fightin' words, as Logano declares that tonight TBS takes on the Game tonight, the man he sucker-punched last night; say, that's too bad, Big Show, has anybody ever seen such a luminous incandescence grail of greatness that Jericho's holding right now, let's all go back to the Celebrity Guest Hosts' office to discuss how awesome he is. . . well, as a matter of fact, Busch's seen 58 of those & since Joey's not the only man who can make matches tonight, on his way into the arena tonight, while he was burning all that rubber, he decided to put Y2J into a match with RAW's Kofi Johnsto- Kingston, Kofi Kingston, yeah, that guy. . . & it's happening right now, where the former Jamaican Sensation pins the WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion with a 'Trouble in Paradise' Xuanfengjiao Tornado Kick {PSYCHOLOGY: a touch of revenge, for Kingston being the RAW wrestler who got pinned last night, due to the shenanigans of Jericho's partner in crime!}; after the match, "Legend Killer" Randy Orton jumps Kofi, leaving the former Jamaican Sensation sprawled on the arena floor near the base of the ring entrance ramp stage; backstage, ECWWE's Josh Mathews bothers Orton, who states that Kofi had no business interfering in his Iron Man match for the Heavyweight title last night @ Bragging Rights & if he'd just kept out of the match, then Randy'd still be Heavyweight champion right now; the Legend Killer calls dropping Kingston justice & believe Randy when he says, he's only just begun on the former Jamaican Sensation; in step Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase Junior, the former stating that they agree with Randy, he was robbed, so they just wanted to show him their support with a gift a token of their gratitude for everything that Orton's ever done for them, namely this NASCAR racing car, emblazoned with his likeness, easily afforded by the son of ",000,000 Man" Ted DiBiase & the Legend Killer can consider this but a small token of their appreciation. . . but that's not it, they also have another surprise, 1 concerning Heavyweight champion John Cena. . . let's just say that it's only a matter of time before the belt comes back to Lega¢¥
WWE Home Video presents "Batista: I Walk Alone", "the Best of Smackdown" & "Summerslam 2009", available now @ all major DVD retailers & @ www.WWEShop.com
in the Celebrity Guest Hosts' office, Kyle Busch & Joey Logano from NASCAR tell Eve Torres about the Texas Motor Speedway, with each man racing against each other, in the RAW & Smackdown cars respectively; wow, in steps "All-American American" Jack Swagger, all agog @ the idea of NASCAR's finest here as the Celebrity Guest Hosts, considering that he's WWE's finest; they all have a lot in common, he's a successful champion who's accustomed to winning. . . well, it's not that Kyle doesn't appreciate where Swagger's going, but what does he want? . . . anywho, Heavyweight champion John Cena doesn't have an opponent for tonight, so Jack was wondering if he could get his shot @ the Heavyweight championship; well, as it just so happens, Busch & Logano were planning on naming the next opponent for the Doctor of Thuganomics tonight; in walks United States champion Mike "The Miz" Mizanin, who disagrees with Jack's assessment of his being the future Heavyweight champion & since the Miz was the only RAW Superstar who actually successfully defended the honour of Monday nights last night, it's a foregone conclusion that he should get the next title shot, so Mike's officially letting Kyle & Joey know that he's gonna be the next man to face the Chain Gang Commander @ Survivor Series, because he's the Miz & he's awesome!
RAW 1st HOUR MAIN EVENT, MIXED TAG TEAM MATCH: Perella (Divas champion Melina Perez & Santino Marella) versus the Lacklustre Former Champs (Chavo Guerrero Junior & Jillian Hall); Melina beats Jillian with a 'Kyranium Krunch' Legdropping Reverse DDT {PSYCHOLOGY: quite the entertaining match!}; after the match, as Hornswaggle, still dressed in the D-Generation X gear, celebrates with Marella & Perez, a guy in a suit hands him a day-glo green envelope, in which's something that makes the Leprechaun rather upset, so he goes & sits on the lap of Uncle Jerry, who explains to us that it's a Cease-&-Desist order to stop wearing that DX stuff in public, or risk legal action
Rhode$ to Ri¢he$ saunter to the ring, where Cody Rhodes proclaims that the champ's not here, though this would be the perfect time for him to come out here to talk about his so-called epic victory, but instead Heavyweight champion John Cena's gonna have to wait his turn, because Rhode$ to Ri¢he$ are here. . . & just because "Legend Killer" Randy Orton can't face the Doctor of Thuganomics for the Heavyweight title, doesn't mean that neither Rhodes nor his tag team partner Ted DiBiase Junior can't, so @ Survivor Series, they're gonna take back the title to Lega¢¥, where it belongs; DiBiase didn't ask tonight's Celebrity Guest Hosts to make this match, because they don't have to, they're making a challenge to the Chain Gang Commander tonight ~ he can either take on Ted, or Cody, or better yet he can take on both of them, if he has the guts; well, dem's fightin' words, as the Heavyweight champion wiggers to the ring & states that he doesn't have to brag about what he did last night, it was exactly what it needed to be, 2 of the greatest Superstars in WWE competing in 1 final showdown; Cena feels that he can speak for his Bragging Rights opponent when he says that, once that 60-minute clock reached 0, both men were spent & it almost felt like they dodged an explosion; people asked Cena why he'd do something like accept an Iron Man match, but in a weird way they did it for each other & the Heavyweight title, not to mention the RAW Universe & because they both knew that the rivalry needed to end & it did; that brings them to RAW, the night after the shootout @ the OK Corral, where the RAW Universe's sitting in anticipation of who's gonna be the next challenger for the Heavyweight title, but they assuredly weren't anxiously awaiting the presence of Rhodes & DiBiase; well, they ain't Randy, which of course John agrees with, neither of them are as schooled as Orton, but it's close enough ~ people tuning in will think that RAW's gone into reruns, what's it been now, 12 years? . . . so right now, the Heavyweight champion's gonna hit Rhode$ to Ri¢he$ up with some truth ~ last night, he defeated the Legend Killer & earned the right to say "no more!" so they can both come out here to make all the empty challenges they want, that they're gonna take the title back to Lega¢¥, but if they want a shot @ the title, they're gonna have to lace up their boots real tight & work for it, because that's how it's gonna be around here. . . but as of right now, Cody & Ted haven't earned it yet, which he confirms when he asks the RAW Universe if the Baby Oil Club have earned anything; so, as much of a NASCAR fan as Cena might be, Cena was backstage talking with Celebrity Guest Hosts Kyle Busch & Joey Logano from NASCAR, who agreed that the 2 should have a match tonight, right about now; TAG TEAM MATCH: Rhode$ to Ri¢he$ (Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase Junior) versus the World's Strongest Playas (Montell Vontavius Porter & "World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry); MVP defeats DiBiase with a Sitout Pinfall {PSYCHOLOGY: & an assist from Henry's massive clothesline from the ring apron!}; after the match, "Legend Killer" Randy Orton saunters out to the ring, where he states that apparently the Celebrity Guest Hosts are trying to find the next opponent for the Heavyweight champion & it's starting to look like it's not gonna be the former champion himself; Orton understands the terms of his match last night, but he doesn't care, he's a former champion & is entitled to a rematch, he doesn't care if he has to take it all the way to the WWE Board of Directors, he'll get his title back; suddenly, Kofi Kingston appears on the TitanTron, declaring that nobody cares what he has to say & what he thinks, which infuriates the Legend Killer, demanding that the former Jamaican Sensation should come down here to this ring & say that to his face. . . well, it's funny that Randy should use those words, considering that he's standing over Orton's face, as painted onto the NASCAR racing car backstage, which's built very durably, considering that Kofi's punching & kicking it as much as he's doing ~ why, he can even take this rolling equipment cart & ram it full-force into the side of the car, without leaving a scratch {a huge dent in the fiberglass, but no scratch} ironically enough, it's the stuff that's so small that can do so much damage, like this key, which Kingston uses to scratch up the side panel. . . wait, is that a bug on the hood, allow the former Jamaican Sensation to get that, with this handy crowbar; ahh, noodles, it appears that Kofi's gone & ruined Randy's paint job, but allow him to just grab this bucket of red paint & fix it. . . from a height of about 5'
Eve Torres sexies to the ring to do special guest ring announcing for the following match, where Evan Bourne beats United States champion Mike "The Miz" Mizanin via Disqualification, After "All-American American" Jack Swagger Distracts the Miz, in This Non-Title Match {PSYCHOLOGY: awww, c'mon, defend the belt already, guys!}
Celebrity Guest Hosts Kyle Busch & Joey Logano from NASCAR appear on the TitanTron, announcing that they've enjoyed how tough Jamie Knoble's been on RAW, but they're gonna find out tonight just how tough he really is, when he takes on RAW's latest acquisition from ECWWE, Sheamus O'Shaughnessy, who's here to make an impression on the RAW Universe; Sheamus defeats Jamie with a 'Cabra Gaelscoil' Bicycle Kick {PSYCHOLOGY: surprise!}
a video package plays, hyping "the Unauthorized History of DX", a book chronicling the rise of WWE's most juvenile faction in its otherwise-illustrious history; before the following match, HHH informs WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion the Big Show that he was talking to RAW Celebrity Guest Hosts Kyle Busch & Joey Logano from NASCAR a little earlier & they were all unanimous in their decision to make this a Lumberjack Match, featuring the other 4 members of Team RAW from Bragging Rights {"All-American American" Jack Swagger, Kofi Kingston, "World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry & Cody Rhodes} as well as many other members of the RAW-ster {including Chavo Guerrero Junior, Montell Vontavius Porter, "Masterpiece" Chris Masters, Evan Bourne, Santino Marella & 2016 WWE Hall of Famer "HeartBreak Kid" Shawn Michaels} & on top of that, it's a No Disqualification Match, so those Lumberjacks can do just about whatever they want during the match. . . also, the referee can skedaddle, because they have a special guest ref, namely Heavyweight champion John Cena; RAW 2nd HOUR MAIN EVENT, NO DISQUALIFICATION LUMBERJACK MATCH: the Game pins the Former WCW Giant with a 'Pedigree' Double Underhook Faceplant {PSYCHOLOGY: after everybody else got in their shots as well!}; after the match, Celebrity Guest Hosts Kyle Busch & Joey Logano from NASCAR saunter out onto the ring entrance ramp stage, where they announce finally who's gonna face the Doctor of Thuganomics @ Survivor Series, but they couldn't come up with any 1 Superstar, so they spoke with the 1 guy who can unify them, Hornswaggle, who managed to convince them that it should be a Triple Threat, the Chain Gang Commander defending his title against none other than the Cerebral Assassin & the Showstopper!
10/27/09 originating on SyFy {in the United States} & rebroadcast on Global {in Canada} the following Friday, late-night
commentating by Josh Mathews & Byron Saxton
from the Blue Cross Arena in Rochester, New York; now in WWE~HD
WWE Hall of Famer "Mister USA" Tony Atlas introduces Abraham Washington, who suaves out onto the ring entrance ramp stage & thanks the ECWWE Universe for the nonexistent cheers, before welcoming them all to most the critically-acclaimed of all prime time, as hosted by the most entertaining man in sports entertainment; deciding to tune out the haters in the crowd, Washington declares himself to still be a pimp, then decides to do something that he doesn't do very often & stop running his mouth. . . now, stop that cackling,Tony don't wanna be back in the unemployment line, do he? . . . so anywho, here's the General Manager of ECWWE, Tiffany, who sexies out onto the ring entrance ramp stage with her brand-spanking new theme that has nothing to do with Torrie Wilson, where she provides nature's cure for swine flu, since Abraham's too busy catching jungle fever. . . but in all seriousness, Tiffany's in the hot seat right now, because just this past Sunday @ Bragging Rights, with RAW & Smackdown determining who's the better show, ECWWE had no influence, what's up with that? . . . well, as it turns out, she thinks that her little show that could had a tremendous influence on this Sunday's pay-per-view ~ look @ Smackdown Intercontinental champion John Morrison, RAW United States champion Mike "The Miz" Mizanin, Smackdown's CM Punk, RAW's Kofi Kingston. . . all former ECWWE alumni; as far as next year goes, they're gonna have an even bigger impact on Bragging Rights, she guarantees it; well, dem's fightin' words, as Washington proclaims that this ain't no Men's Warehouse, they don't need no suits, they need Superstars. . . & speaking of ECWWE Superstars who got their start here & left, let's talk about that Irish Ronald McDonald wannabe Sheamus O'Shaughnessy, who just made his debut on RAW this week; well, as it turns out, Tiffany works under the understanding that anybody who wants to leave, can do just that, so after Sheamus informed her of his desire to head for Monday nights, she informed him of her desire to not have the door hit his pale-as-death arse on the way out. . . after having 1 last match tonight against "Gold Standard" Shelton Benjamin; well, then, Abraham guesses that he has only 1 thing left to ask, how's the chicken wing healing up, but before the GM can answer, William Regal saunters out onto the ring entrance ramp stage, where he implores her 1 last time to give him what he deserves, a Heavyweight championship rematch; too bad, though, that even though he's asked her repeatedly, her answer's still no, so let Tiffany make herself perfectly clear, he's not going to get a title match tonight & quite possibly won't ever get another shot ever, so she thanks the ECWWE Universe for coming & sexies back to her office; as Washington tries to close his show, Regal goes all large-simian-poopie on the set, throwing a tantrum fit for an otherwise-austere Incredible Hulk; backstage, Savannah Fong bothers the Gold Standard, who didn't exactly take too kindly to O'Shaughnessy calling his WWE tenure mediocre, but it did make him sit down while he was @ home & come to the realization that maybe he's wasting everybody's time here, perhaps he should pack his things up & leave. . . but then, Shelton realized that this schmuck of a rookie had no right to question his heart, he's a coward for attacking Benjamin from behind & then go hightailing it to RAW, as though he's done anything to prove himself to anybody; well, before he heads to Monday nights, the Gold Standard's gonna give the Celt a parting gift, a reason not to underestimate Benjamin; Sheamus beats Shelton with a 'Cabra Gaelscoil' Bicycle Kick {PSYCHOLOGY: well, have a good time on RAW, then! . . .}
backstage, Rosa Mendes tells Gregory Helms that she's so glad to be on ECWWE, it gives her the perfect excuse to go shopping for new clothes every week. . . & she's been going to the gym & she's in the best shape of her life. . . oh & she was @ the mall the other day & bought the cutest little dress. . . & then, of course, there was this girl who recognized her & asked for her autograph ~ oh sorry, what was it that Gregory asked her; well, actually, he just said hi, but here comes "Ripper" Paul Burchill & his sister Katie Lea, the former issuing a challenge to Hurricane Helms, through Gregory, to face the former pirate next week
in the backstage area, Savannah Fong bothers Heavyweight champion Christian, who believes that Yoshi Tatsu's the most deserving person around here of a title shot, because unlike other people named William Regal, Tatsu's actually gone out & earned some wins, which in turn makes Captain Charisma feel good about what's going on here in ECWWE; Tatsu's gonna be a champion in years to come. . . but not tonight, because here tonight in front of his Rochester Peeps, the Instant Classic's set to teach his protege the most important lesson of all, how to del with defeat in the following MAIN EVENT, ECWWE HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: the Peeps' Champion defeats the New Japan Pro Wrestler with a 'Kill Switch' Crucifix Faceplant {PSYCHOLOGY: what, only 2 matches ~ oh, boo-urry!}; after the match, Christian makes to help Tatsu up to his feet, when suddenly Vladimir Koslov & Ezekiel Jackson storm the ring & beat down both men @ the behest of William Regal, who picks up the Heavyweight title from the rubble of humanity & puts it in the face of the Instant Classic
10/29/09 originating on WGN America {in the United States}
RAW & Smackdown commentating by WWE Hall of Famer Jerry "The King" Lawler & Michael Cole
ECWWE commentating by Josh Mathews & Byron Saxton
Smackdown commentating by the Slammy Award-winner Matt Striker & Todd Grisham
RAW MATCH: "All-American American" Jack Swagger pins Primo Colon with an 'Orthodontist's Dream' Gutwrench Powerbomb {PSYCHOLOGY: splat-tastic!}
a video package plays, showing this week's edition of Ask the Divas; "I have a body like a WWE Diva! What should I be for Halloween?". . . RAW's Kelly Kelly suggests herself. . . ECWWE's Rosa Mendes takes a similar tact. . . RAW's Bella Twins sense a theme as well. . . ECWWE's Eve Torres suggests dressing as the ultimate Diva, Wonder Woman. . . RAW's Jillian Hall shows how humble she is by offering herself as a perfect Halloween template. . . Smackdown's Maria Kanellis proposes becoming your own Diva. . . Smackdown's Natalya Neidhart opts for dropping all inhibitions & going as a French maid. . . ECWWE's Katie Lea Burchill, on the other hand, bursts everybody's bubble by doubting that any WWE Universer could have the body of a WWE Diva; "What's your favourite Halloween memory?". . . ECWWE's Rosa Mendes once stole all of her friends' candy. . . RAW's Jillian Hall dressed up as Britney Spears last year on TV. . . ECWWE's Katie Lea Burchill always enjoys tricks, treats & candy. . . RAW's Brie Bella was a fairy godmother, while Nikki was a pumpkin, which didn't stop the latter from hauling the former's wig off; anybody who needs advise, can log onto www.WWEUniverse.com; RAW DIVAS MATCH: Alicia Fox defeats Kelly Kelly with a 'Ax' Scissor Kick {PSYCHOLOGY: well, it's not like it was anybody who's a serious contender for either the Women's or Divas titles! . . .}; DID YOU KNOW. . . last month, over 100,000,000 photos of WWE Divas were viewed on www.WWE.com! . . . ; betcha ECWWE's Zack Gowen knew that, as he saunters to the ring for the following ECWWE MATCH: the Former EdgeHead beats Tyler Reks with a 'Zack Attack' Inverted Overdriver {PSYCHOLOGY: surprise!}
a video package plays, hyping WrestleMania 26 tickets being on sale in 9 days
MAIN EVENT, SMACKDOWN 6-MAN TAG TEAM MATCH: Thugnificence ("R~Truth" Ron Killings & Cryme Tyme {JTG & Shad Gaspard) versus Evil & Good (Mike Knox & the Calgary Bulldogs {Tyson Kidd & David Hart Smith}); Killings defeats Kidd with a 'Lie Detector' Corkscrew Elbow {PSYCHOLOGY: Smackdown Universe over there, what's up?}
10/30/09 originating on MyNetworkTV {in the United States} & on The SCORE {in Canada}
commentating by the Slammy-Award-Winning Matt Striker & Todd Grisham
from the Blue Cross Arena in Rochester, New York; now in WWE~HD
General Manager Theodore R. Long holla-holla-hollas to the ring, where he congratulates Team Smackdown for defeating Team RAW @ Bragging Rights, which was quite the profitable night for WWE's A-show, if also a rather disturbing 1, as Dave "The Animal" Batista attacked his long-time friend Rey Mysterio Junior & he knows that the Smackdown Universe's anxiously awaiting some answers from the former Heavyweight champion, so Long's set up a face-to-face meeting with both men for later tonight; that brings Teddy to the Heavyweight title match @ Survivor Series & the man who'll face the champion UnderTaker, WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion the Big Show; WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion Chris Jericho saunters down to the ring, still carrying not only his RAW & Smackdown Tag Team title belts, but also the Bragging Rights Trophy that Team Smackdown won Sunday, which's what Long takes upon Y2J entering the ring, since it's property of Smackdown. . . well, make no mistake about it, that trophy belongs to the Ayatollah of Rock & Rollah, the mastermind behind the win @ the pay-per-view; the ÜberStar of Jerichlean Proportions didn't win that match for these hypocritical sycophants, he did it for himself, once more proving that he's the best in the world @ what he does; for Teddy to give the former WCW Giant the title shot @ Survivor Series without consulting the King of My World's the most underhanded & devious decision that Long's ever made, Jericho's the face of Smackdown, he single-handedly brought triumph to Team Smackdown @ Bragging Rights, so therefore he should be the show's Heavyweight champion; Kane pyros to the ring, where he balks @ the idea of Chris winning their match single-handedly, in case he forgot, the Bald Red Machine was co-captain of Team Smackdown, which means that the trophy & all the glory belong to him just as much; as for the #1 Contendership for the Dead Man's Heavyweight title, it's certainly not going to either of the WWE Unified Tag Team champions, it should go to the BalderTaker; well, maybe he's suffering from selective memory, because as Y2J recalls, he was the 1 who scored the winning pinfall, so he was the true winner @ Bragging Rights & Kane's own win-loss record against the Heavyweight champion hasn't exactly been exemplary, so the Bald Red Machine shouldn't get his hopes up in regards to scoring a title match; the ÜberStar of Jerichlean Proportion's the hero of Smackdown, he's the Judas & he's the Priest of all these germ incubators in the Smackdown Universe, so BalderTaker should just turn around & get-a-steppin'; well, dem's fightin' words, as Kane sets the WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion up for a 'Goozle' 1-Handed Chokeslam, but Teddy stops him, knowing that the former WWF Heavyweight champion's gonna wanna hear this. . . since RAW's having a Triple Threat for their Heavyweight title @ Survivor Series, Long's gonna have the King of My World & the BalderTaker face off tonight, with the winner going on to face 'Taker & TBS in a Triple Threat match of their own
before the following match, Dolph Ziggler saunters to the ring, where he proclaims that, since everybody else from Smackdown did their jobs @ Bragging Rights by coming out on top, it seems like he's got a pretty good shot tonight, going up against the only Smackdown Superstar who didn't win his Bragging Rights Inter-Promotional match; fair enough, but what's all this "we", the way the Shaman of Sexy remembers it, Dolph wasn't even @ the pay-per-view, so he really shouldn't be including himself in this "we", he's a little premature in that regard. . . & John should know, he asked Maria Kanellis about how premature Ziggler usually is; well, dem's jobbin' words, as Ziggler beats Morrison via Countout in This Non-Title Match {PSYCHOLOGY: & no, I'm not gonna be calling Dolph's finisher the "Zig Zag"!}
in the General Manager's office, Theodore R. Long welcomes WWE Owner Vince McMahon, who congratulates the former WCW & WWE referee-turned-manager, postulating that he just might be able to get rid of that darned annoying little probation thingy that Vinnie-Mac's been hanging over his head all this time; in walks CM Punk, who asks if Long's out of his mind, putting WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion the Big Show up against Heavyweight champion the UnderTaker @ Survivor Series & to make matters worse, there's a match tonight pitting WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion Chris Jericho against Kane, the winner of which's added to that title bout, making it a Triple Threat match, when the entire Smackdown Universe knows that it should be the Straight-Edge Superstar's match, if it weren't for the shoddy officiating of Scott Armstrong, Punk'd still be champ himself; wait a minute, the McMahonopolizer has an idea, tonight CM takes on Referee Scott Armstrong, now how's that for a brilliant idea?
SMACKDOWN DIVAS MATCH: "Glamazon" Beth Phoenix defeats Jenny Brooks with a 'Glam Slam' Elevated Wheelbarrow Faceplant {PSYCHOLOGY: no way, a Divas jobber match?!}
Vickie Guerrero Mamacita Heats out onto the ring entrance ramp stage, where she excuses herself in her brass-finished princess dress, then takes great pride in introducing her Prince Charming, Eric Escobar for the following SMACKDOWN 1st HOUR MAIN EVENT MATCH: Matt Hardy pins Escobar with a Neckbreaker {PSYCHOLOGY: out of desperation, as he'd taken quite a lickin' but kept on tickin'!}; after the match, Rey Mysterio Junior Booyakas to the ring, where he states that, since all of the Smackdown Universe just witnessed in that video package from Bragging Rights, where, after their mutual Heavyweight title match loss, Dave "The Animal" Batista beat down the Biggest Little Man & as much as it hurt Rey-Rey physically, the internal pain from a friendship scorned was even worse; ever since Sunday, Mysterio's been replaying what happened over & over in his mind, which just made him angrier & angrier, but then he realized what was really important, Batista being his family; Rey feels he owes the Animal the benefit of the doubt, so regardless of how he may feel right now personally, Mysterio calls Dave down to the ring, so that they can straighten this out mano a mano, like la Familia; Batista Walks For Miles Inside This Pit of Danger to the ring, where he asks if Rey's hurt because Dave hurt him, well maybe he just don't realize just what kind of hurting that the Animal can dish out, who the hell does Mysterio think he is, calling Batista out; well, Dave's gonna be the bigger man & give Rey-Rey this 1 opportunity to walk out of his ring, which the Biggest Little Man declines to do, he wants to straighten things out between the 2, they've been through so much together; it was a Fatal 4-Way match Sunday for the Heavyweight title ~ what, did Dave honestly expect Mysterio not to try? . . . no, Rey's willing to let bygones be bygones, dawg, that's how much their friendship means to him, Dave's like Mysterio's big brother, he looks up to him ~ brothers fight all the time, but what they have here's gonna last far longer than either of their wrestling careers, when they're both done in the squared circle, they're still gonna be family; what's Rey-Rey thinking, he must be forgetting how little effort Dave used to hurt him, what's he gonna do now that the Animal's not on his side, why oh why did he have to go stab Batista in the back @ Bragging Rights & what's Dave gonna do to Mysterio if he doesn't get out of this ring right now; c'mon man, he's not serious. . . well, if Rey thinks Dave's lying, then he's welcome to stay in the ring; if Rey'd known what he did was gonna interfere in their friendship, he'd've never agreed to be a part of that match, but now Batista's giving him this 1 last chance to turn around & walk out of this ring, before something Evolution-style happens to the Biggest Little Man; naw, he ain't leaving. . . the Animal's gonna have to do what he feels the need to do, because Rey's here to work out their differences, look @ what they've both been through, look @ Eddie. . . well Rey, Eddie's dead, Dave's not thinking about what they've been through or anybody else by himself; then Batista leaves the ring relatively un-Rey-smeared, heading backstage in a huff, where he gets bothered by Matt Hardy, who starts off on the wrong foot by pointing out that this may not be any of his business, but he & Jeff had a lot of conflicts, they'd done a lot of things to each other that they regret doing, so the former Mattitude Practitioner suggests that he not do anything with Rey that he's gonna regret later; well, dem's blind-sidin' words, as Batista makes to leave the arena, then Pearl-Harbours Hardy from behind, leaving him in a crumpled heap on the floor
Drew McIntyre saunters to the ring, where he congratulates Team Smackdown on their victory @ Bragging Rights, but let the Scot make 1 thing perfectly clear ~ he never wanted to be on that team in the 1st place, as he intends to make his own impact; so, unfortunately for his opponent tonight, the party's over; after beating the Cac out of Fit Finlay, the referee declares that the match can now not take place & send McIntyre backstage
DID YOU KNOW. . . www.WWEClassics.com is the only place you can watch the 1st 100 episodes of Monday Night RAW! . . . ; betcha Cryme Tyme {aka Friday Night Thugs A'Horror. . . because on Friday night, they make all the ladies scream!} knew that, as they bring tha hood 2 tha ring for the 2009 Halloween Diva Contest, where the Smackdown Universe decides the flyest costume; the 4 contestants sexy to the ring, where JTG declares that the Smackdown Universe's gonna really enjoy this Halloween, if this is who's gonna be trick or treatin' this year; 1st, it's Natalya Neidhart, dressed as a matador. . . then there's Layla El, dressed as a female Michael Jackson. . . 3rd we have Women's champion Michelle McCool, dressed as Terri Runnels- err, I mean a she-devil. . . lastly, Mickie James shorn up in her Elektra costume, doing all kinds of flips & rolls, showing us she knows how to use those sai; now Shad Gaspard calls for the Smackdown Universe to choose the winner, who's the former Alexis Laree, who's all bubbly about her "win" until the other 3 Divas decide that they're not gonna take her sexier-dressed shenanigans lying down. . . until Mickie actually starts knocking them down to their backs 1-by-1, until McCool manages to take down her title rival
a video package plays, hyping WrestleMania 26 tickets being on sale in 8 days
CM Punk beats Referee Scott Armstrong with a 'Go To Sleep' Falling Kneestrike {PSYCHOLOGY: surprise!}
SMACKDOWN 2nd HOUR MAIN EVENT, SUMMERSLAM #1 CONTENDERSHIP, HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion Chris Jericho defeats Kane with a 'Codebreaker' Cradling Falling Double-Kneestrike {PSYCHOLOGY: so, once again, the WWE Unified Tag Team titles aren't being defended on pay-per-view. . . I really should stop being surprised @ this!}