10/19/09 originating on USA Network {in the United States} & simulcast on the Score {in Canada}
commentating by WWE Hall of Famer Jerry "The King" Lawler & Michael Cole
from the Veterans Memorial Arena in Jacksonville, Florida; now in WWE~HD
Celebrity Guest Host Snoop Dogg fersnizzles to the ring, accompanied by the Bella Twins & Eve Torres, where he breaks it down a bit with the Divas, then makes some noise; 1st off, he's so honoured to be here tonight, he's a huge fan of WWE & his mind's set on business, it's not personal & RAW's gonna bash the hell outta Smackdown Sunday @ Bragging Rights. . . & since there's a chance that John Cena might have to leave RAW after the pay-per-view, Snoop's got the Doctor of Thuganomics wrestling HHH tonight; so while the Chain Gang Commander's gotta get in the ring to fight, it's only face that Heavyweight champion "Legend Killer" Randy Orton should have to fight too, so he takes on the man who beat him last week, Ted DiBiase Junior. . . not only that, but he also has WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion Chris Jericho taking on 2016 WWE Hall of Famer "HeartBreak Kid" Shawn Michaels; RAW Universe, are you ready, then make some noise for D-Generation X, who Break it Down to the ring & give props to the Dogg. . . so, as required by law, when Snoop's involved, white guys have to come out & try to talk like him, that's off the hizzle, fersnizzle, pass him his umbrella because it looks like drizzle, HBKizzle; alrighty, so now that the Game & the Showstopper have proven how white they are, it's time to talk about Bragging Rights Sunday, where Team RAW goes up against Team Smackdown in a 7-on-7 Tag Team match; y'see, there's team co-captain WWE Tag Team co-champion Chris Jericho, who both the Cerebral Assassin & the HeartBreak Kid have defeated soundly @ 2 separate WrestleManias. . . the other co-captain, Kane, who had that whole "Katie Vick" thing with the King of Kings, but he found her really boring, she was a real stiff. . . anywho, Cryme Tyme, who can often be seen in the Smackdown parking lot, trying to sell the unused tickets. . . then there's Dolph Ziggler, who always goes around introducing himself. . . lastly, we have these 2 new guys, who HHH doesn't even know the names of, does anybody know these 2 schmucks, it looks like Smackdown General Manager had a guess-the-number-of-jellybeans-in-the-jar for a WWE contract, or maybe he just sold the last 2 spots on eBay ~ naw, naw, HBK's not gonna allow his friend to talk about these up-&-coming WWE Superstars like that, the guy on the left's Drew McIntyre {who was officially signed to Smackdown by none other than Owner Vince McMahon} & the other guy's Eric Escobar, who's boppin' Vickie Guerrero {the Game's always said, if you're gonna sleep your way to the top, it's best to do it with somebody who weighs less then you, which is something that the Game knows all about}; well, that's 1 spectacular team that Teddy's put together, but they pale compared to Team RAW, who all Papa Roach to the ring & all get introduced 1-by-1. . . WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion the Big Show, who sure has a lot of mass as the World's Largest Athlete. . . "World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry, who reminds the Cerebral Assassin of the Kool-Aid Man. . . Kofi Kingston, former Intercontinental & United States champion, on Shawn's side any day of the week. . . "All-American American" Jack Swagger, who people may not like very much. . . moving onto Cody Rhodes, who seems to fall a little short of the $1,000,000s in talent in this team; well, for the record, the Son of the Son of a Plumber ain't gonna be listening to anything DX has to say Sunday anyway, they're his captain by name only, because if it was based on talent, he'd be in charge. . . as a matter of fact, Cody doesn't believe he's gonna need to tag anybody in @ all @ Bragging Rights, he just might go ahead & beat Team Smackdown all by himself; too bad TBS has something to say about that, personally he doesn't care if Rhodes insults D-Generation X, but there's no ruttin' way that he's gonna insult the former WCW Giant, if he feels that Cody's not working toward the greater good of the team, then the WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion will take that personally. . . & that goes for everybody on Team RAW; well, dem's Mark-Henry-getting-his-dander-up words, as the former Sexual Chocolate gets all up in the grill of the former WCW Giant, until the All-American American tries to get between then, proclaiming that even though they're the 2 largest members of Team RAW, he's the most athletically gifted, so they should just go stick to their positions of taking up the rear, while the 2-time All-American does all the real work; guys, guys, guys, allow Kofi to drop the Jamaican accent in lieu of a British 1, telling them that this is just what Team Smackdown wants, they've got to come together & fight as 1, or else it'll be bad news for Team RAW this Sunday; hang on a second, the King of Kings has a real problem here. . . where's Kofi's accent, isn't he Jamaican? . . . {thank you!}, but anywho they have to concentrate on being a team, so just in preparation for Bragging Rights, DX have made a special 5-on-5 Tag Team match for later tonight & if any members of Team RAW manage to get themselves pinned, then they'll've proven themselves to be the weakest link in the team & the person that beats them, gets their place this Sunday & that match starts later. . . naw, let's get to it now; 10-MAN TAG TEAM MATCH: the Primaries (Kofi Kingston, the Immovable Objects {WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion the Big Show & "World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry} & Humble As All-Get-Out {Cody Rhodes & "All-American American" Jack Swagger}) versus the Alternates (Primo Colon, Through Being Cool {Chavo Guerrero Junior & "Masterpiece" Chris Masters} & Comin' In Hot {Montell Vontavius Porter & Evan Bourne}); Swagger pins Guerrero with a Rhodes-Applied 'Cross Rhodes' Neckbreaking Reverse DDT {PSYCHOLOGY: there's gonna be dissension throughout the week & into the pay-per-view, clearly!}; after the match, Cody starts throwing his comparatively-minimal weight around, causing all 5 men to eventually fall fighting, while the King of Kings & the 2016 WWE Hall of Famer look on from a monitor backstage; meanwhile, ECWWE's Josh Mathews bothers Ted DiBiase Junior, who states that his defeat of Heavyweight champion "Legend Killer" Randy Orton last week hasn't caused any rifts in Lega¢¥, he didn't do anything that Randy himself wouldn't've done himself & even though Orton hasn't returned any of Ted's calls, he assumes that the Legend Killer understands- oh yeah, what does he understand, as the Heavyweight champion saunters in, asking how he misunderstood DiBiase's betrayal; their match tonight's not gonna be a match, because DiBiase isn't gonna fight back @ all, understood, so that Ted can finally show the respect that Randy deserves. . . but if he decides to take advantage of another opportunity tonight, then Orton can guarantee that Ted'll regret it for the rest of his life. . . after he's been tossed out of Lega¢¥ 1st, of course; Orton beats DiBiase with an 'RKO' Modified Ace Crusher {PSYCHOLOGY: after only a modicum of resistance from the $1,000,000 Son}
a video package plays, reviewing the wrestling legacy of the late Captain Lou Albano, 1933-2009
in the Celebrity Guest Host's office, Snoop Dogg offers to drop his new CD "Malice in Wonderland" {available on December 8th, 17 days before Christmas} in the baskets of some Divas; in swarths Hornswaggle, who immediately gets mocked by Chavo Guerrero, for thinking that he has what D-Generation X want. . . but anyway, Chavito Heat demands that the Celebrity Guest Hosts stop overlooking him, he's wrestling royalty, he's a Guerrero, show a homey some love. . . but 1st, here's Jillian Hall, demanding that she get a Divas title shot tonight, but then she almost immediately ruins her chances of getting in good with Snoop by starting to "sing" 1 of his songs. . . but never mind that now, here's Santino Marella, dressed like Charlie Brown {complete with a bald cap} suggesting that they get off on the right foot this time, since the last time they met it wasn't so good, going on to indicate that he even dressed like Dogg's old friend, Charlie the Brown, so that Snoop can go chase the Red Baron, slap Lucy around for snatching that football away everytime he tries to kick it; just as all 3 start talking over each other, Snoop Dogg sends all of them out of his office tout de suite, so he calls for Eve Torres to pass him "that bag" so that he can relax. . . then RAW starts experiencing some technical difficulties, but then when the picture comes back, we find out the true source of Snoop's laid-back demeanour, as there's nothing like scented candles to help him relax! . . .
RAW 1st HOUR MAIN EVENT MATCH: HHH defeats John Cena with a 'Pedigree' Double Underhook Faceplant {PSYCHOLOGY: well, I suppose that pretty much cinches that the Doctor of Thuganomics isn't done on RAW yet, because that's a somewhat bad note to have to change shows on}; after the match, the Game shakes the Chain Gang Commander's hand, out of respect for his defeated foe, then before leaving the ring, Cena gives what might be his final farewell to the RAW Universe, depending on the outcome of his match against Heavyweight champion "Legend Killer" Randy Orton this Sunday
WWE Magazine presents "the History of WWE", available now @ www.WWEShop.com
before the following match, Celebrity Guest Host Snoop Dogg pops up onto the TitanTron, announcing that, what with United States champion Mike The Miz" Mizanin likening himself to 2016 WWE Hall of Famer "HeartBreak Kid" Shawn Michaels while calling Smackdown Intercontinental champion John Morrison was Marty Jannetty, it gave the Doggfather an idea, so instead of the former reality star taking on some local jabroni, he's actually gonna wrestle the former Rocker; Mizanin pins Jannetty with a 'Skull-Crushing Finale' Full-Nelson Forward Russian Legsweep in This Non-Title Match {PSYCHOLOGY: makes no sense to me, to have WWE neglecting their titles so much, but @ least the Miz had a nice nostalgic, somewhat pertinent & sorta entertaining opponent}
RAW 2nd HOUR MAIN EVENT, DIVAS TITLE MATCH: champion Melina Perez beats Jillian Hall with a 'Kyranium Krunch' Legdropping Reverse DDT {PSYCHOLOGY: kind of a foregone conclusion, I suppose!}; after the match, when "Snoopswaggle" interfered & raised Chavo Guerrero Junior's ire, Celebrity Guest Host Snoop Dogg storms the ring & gets all up in Chavito Heat's grill, dropping him with a 'Spear' Charging Shouldertackle, clearing the way for the Bella Twins, Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres & Gail Kim to sexy down to the ring to have themselves a nice little dance to the tune of Snoop's new song "Gangsta Luv" available now for download
a video package plays, hyping "the Unauthorized History of DX", a book chronicling the rise of WWE's most juvenile faction in its otherwise-illustrious history
a video package plays, hyping WrestleMania 26 tickets being on sale in 19 days
the BRAGGING RIGHTS CARD SO FAR: 14-Man Inter-Promotional Tag Team match, Team RAW (HHH, 2016 WWE Hall of Famer "HeartBreak Kid" Shawn Michaels, Kofi Kingston, WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion The Big Show, "All-American American" Jack Swagger, Cody Rhodes & "World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry) versus Team Smackdown (WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion Chris Jericho, Kane, Shad Gaspard, JTG, Dolph Ziggler, Drew McIntyre & Eric Escobar). . . Fatal 4-Way, Smackdown Heavyweight champion the UnderTaker versus Dave "The Animal" Batista versus CM Punk versus Rey Mysterio Junior. . . 1-hour "Anything Goes" Iron Man match, RAW Heavyweight champion "Legend Killer" Randy Orton versus John Cena. . . RAW United States champion Mike "The Miz" Mizanin versus Smackdown Intercontinental champion John Morrison. . . 6-Divas Inter-Promotional Tag Team match, Team RAW (Divas champion Melina Perez, Gail Kim & Kelly Kelly) versus Team Smackdown (Women's champion Michelle McMool, Natalya Neidhart & "Glamazon" Beth Phoenix); meanwhile, a video package plays, hyping NASCAR's Kyle Busch & Joey Logano as next week's Celebrity Guest Hosts; before the following match, WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion Chris Jericho declares that he could knock 2016 WWE Hall of Famer "HeartBreak Kid" Shawn Michaels out right now, but he doesn't wan to do that, he'd rather send a message to all of Team RAW, by way of Team Smackdown having an almost unfair advantage over the Monday night brand, by virtue of Y2J being the team captain; he's the best in the world @ what he does, which guarantees victory for the Friday night team, coupled with Jericho's use of his leadership skills, immense intelligence, moxie & guile to assemble the single-greatest 7-man team with 1 driving force, to decimate & humiliate Team RAW Sunday, but they're gonna start right now with the Showstopper; Smackdown's Cryme Tyme come out to the ring through the crowd, joined by Smackdown's Kane sauntering down to the ring in similar fashion, leading Dolph Ziggler, Drew McIntyre & Eric Escobar to ringside, where all 7 men can look down upon 1 of their opponents @ Bragging Right; while Team RAW argues like a buncha petulant children, the Ayatollah of Rock & Rollah gets ready to talk some further smack of the HeartBreak Kid, when suddenly HHH leads Kofi Kingston, "All-American American" Jack Swagger, "World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry, WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion the Big Show & Cody Rhodes to the ring, where the Game congratulates the ÜberStar of Jerichlean Proportions, for doing what the entirety of Team RAW was able to do, unify them all, since there's 1 thing that they can all agree on, they don't like Jericho, his team, or his show & while they all may have walked onto this show, they're all about to be thrown off of it; EXCUSE HER! as Vickie Guerrero saunters out onto the ring entrance ramp stage, where she states that she can see where this is going & as an official consultant for Team Smackdown, she won't allow it; if D-Generation X want a fight, they're gonna have to wait until Sunday, because Team Smackdown's leaving the arena; yeah Chris, you heard Mamacita Heat, go away, he wouldn't want to get in any trouble. . . oh wait, they're already in a ton of trouble, because HHH doesn't work for Vickie Guerrero, as all 14 men fall fighting in & around the ring
10/20/09 originating on SyFy {in the United States} & rebroadcast on Global {in Canada} the following Friday, late-night
commentating by Josh Mathews & the Slammy Award-winner Matt Striker
from the Colonial Life Arena in Columbia, South Carolina; now in WWE~HD
backstage, Abraham Washington, naturally flanked by WWE Hall of Famer "Mister USA" Tony Atlas, welcomes the ECWWE Universe to the show, then proclaims that RAW's not the only show that can be hosted by a talented black man, he's a handsome man, so let's get this show on the road & somebody get WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion Chris Jericho out of the shot! . . . well, as it just so happens, Y2J doesn't care what Washington's trying to do, he wants to find the General Manager's office. . . well, as Abraham recalls, it's just down that way a bit, but 1st, before the Ayatollah of Rock & Rollah leaves, he'd be glad to have the WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion as a guest on his aptly-named Abraham Washington Show sometime. . . well, yeah, the ÜberStar of Jerichlean Proportion imagines that he would
we finally get a chance to lay eyes on Lauren Mayhew on ECWWE TV, announcing the following #1 CONTENDERSHIP, ECWWE HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Yoshi Tatsu defeats Zack Ryder with a Springboard Splash {PSYCHOLOGY: watch, now, as WWE pushes hardcore & none-too-subtly for Yoshi to be the "Next Big Thing" ~ @ least on ECWWE, anyway!}
in the General Manager's office, Tiffany shares in Rosa Mendes' elation @ her being traded to ECWWE, she's ready to make a difference & prove herself in so many ways, but the GM has to go & talk to WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion Chris Jericho for a minute. . . well, the King of My World's doing what any good general would do, improve his army, it's his responsibility to put together the best Team Smackdown to take on Team RAW & Bragging Rights Sunday, so he's here to scout the talent here on ECWWE to pad his flanks. . . well, as much as Tiffany appreciates the professional courtesy or Y2J telling her that, she'd really rather flat-out deny Jericho access to her wrestlers, if it's all the same to the WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion, she's not gonna have him cherry pick talent from under her nose, so he's more than welcome to stay & watch the show {& watch the show only!} or he can leave, it's his choice; well, that's just prime, Chris' outta here! . . . ya floozy! . . . ; DID YOU KNOW. . . WWE has produced 20 books that made the New York Times Best-Sellers list! . . . ; betcha William Regal knew that, as he balks @ the very idea of that waste of oxygen Yoshi Tatsu getting a Heavyweight title shot before him, it's enough to make him cut off his thought in mid-senten- oh, hi, WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion Chris Jericho, who engages in a discussion about whose suit's better, but he can't really stand here & discuss custom tailoring all night, now, can he? . . . he's here to scout for his Team Smackdown team & that pious & biased General Manager won't allow him to plumb the depths of ECWWE's talent roster, for some unfathomable reason. . . well, don't fret too much about that, Regal tells Jericho that Tiffany only thinks that she runs the show, as evidenced by these 2 fine physical specimens @ either side of the 2008 King of the Ring, Vladimir Kozlov & Ezekiel Jackson certainly would make fine additions to Team Smackdown; what's going on, guys, inquires Tiffany as she saunters on by, eying the &#berStar of Jerichlean Proportions like a guy who totally disregarded what she told him in her office, because as it just so happens, that's what he is; so when Mister Regal refers to her as a blonde GM who doesn't know what she's doing & only thinks that she's running ECWWE, she has no choice but to "reward" him by putting him on the outside looking in onto the Heavyweight title picture. . . as for Jericho, his presence's no longer welcome here in this arena; who the hell does Tiffany think she is, he's ½ of the WWE Unified Tag Team champions, he can go wherever he wants, go onto any show & do whatever he wants, does she understand that? . . . ; well, since Y2J's so dead-set on being here, he might as well get in on the action, so the GM declares that he's going to face the Heavyweight champion, Christian
Sheamus O'Shaughnessy pins J.T. Quinn via Disqualification After "Gold Standard" Shelton Benjamin Interferes {PSYCHOLOGY: wow, a jobber match on ECWWE?!}
"Ripper" Paul Burchill saunters down to the ring, where he states that, for years now, Gregory Helms' been perpetrating a fraud on the WWE Universe, pretending to be something that he's not & adulated for it, but now finally here's Burchill, a superb wrestler with impeccable family values; maybe it's an American thing, because in England, their heroes are men & women who have thrives in the arts, science & politics. . . yet the ECWWE Universe's so bereft of anybody to look up to, that they'll go follow some bloke in his Underoos who rescues a kitten from a tree; well, with that being said, Paul's victory last week wasn't just for him, but for sanity & honesty as well, now that the fraud known as Hurricane Helms has been revealed & eliminated, which's why he's standing here right now, where he's demanding that Gregory Helms come down to this ring right now to unmask, so that he can prove the Ripper to be the better man; the Emerald Knight comes down to the ring, looking a little despondent for his loss, where he gets a maskful from Burchill, who proclaims that Helms should be hanging his head, as the better man defeated him last week quite soundly, now give him the mask & let the truth set Gregory free; so the Hurricane hands over the mask, but reveals {GASP!} that it's not really the Hurricane after all, as the Ripper tears this long-haired jabroni a new orifice, allowing the real Emerald Knight to sneak in the back door with a green Kendo stick to chase the Brit & his limey sister Katie Lea backstage
a video package plays, hyping WrestleMania 26 tickets being on sale in 18 days
MAIN EVENT, ECWWE VERSUS SMACKDOWN INTER-PROMOTIONAL MATCH: ECWWE Heavyweight champion Christian beats WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion Chris Jericho with a 'Kill Switch' Crucifix Faceplant in This Non-Title Match {PSYCHOLOGY: awww, no more Vitamin C?}
10/22/09 originating on WGN America {in the United States}
RAW & Smackdown commentating by WWE Hall of Famer Jerry "The King" Lawler & Michael Cole
ECWWE commentating by Josh Mathews & Slammy Award-winner Matt Striker
a video package plays, reviewing the wrestling legacy of the late Captain Lou Albano, 1933-2009
during the following match, it's announced that 3 RAW Divas ~ Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim & Divas champion Melina Perez ~ take on 3 Smackdown Divas ~ Natalya Neidhart, "Glamazon" Beth Phoenix & Women's champion Michelle McCool ~ in a 6-Divas Inter-Promotional Tag Team match @ Bragging Rights this Sunday. . . but 1st, this RAW DIVAS MATCH: K² defeats Kim with a 'Kelly Killer' Handspring Back Elbow Smash {PSYCHOLOGY: WHAAAAAAAAA?!?}; DID YOU KNOW. . . more male teens watched WWE Superstars on Thursday night, than the Major League Baseball Playoffs! . . . ; betcha RAW's Michael Cole & WWE Hall of Famer Jerry "The King" Lawler knew that, as they announce a video package, which outlines the rivalry between RAW Heavyweight champion "Legend Killer" Randy Orton & John Cena, which'll culminate in a 1-hour Iron Man match this Sunday @ Bragging Rights
a video package plays, hyping WrestleMania 26 tickets being on sale in 16 days
ECWWE TAG TEAM MATCH: the Rough Riders (Vladimir Kozlov & Ezekiel Jackson) versus the American Nightmares (Goldust & "Innovator of Extreme" Tommy Dreamer); the Gilded 1 pins the Moscow Mauler with a 'Golden Age' Reverse Space Tornado Ogawa {PSYCHOLOGY: craziness!!}; after the match, Big Zeke drops Goldust, while Kozlov takes Dreamer & Goldy out with a 'Cold War' 1-Handed Chokebomb each
the official theme for Bragging Rights' "Step Up {I'm On It}" by Maylene & the Sons of Disaster, from the album 3, available now; MAIN EVENT, SMACKDOWN TAG TEAM MATCH: Killings Me Hardy ("R~Truth" Ron Killings & Matt Hardy) versus Galloway~Perez (Drew McIntyre & Eric Escobar); McIntyre beats Hardy with a 'Criminally Sexy' Swinging Snap Double Underhook DDT {PSYCHOLOGY: well, considering the winning team will be somewhat prominently featured on Bragging Rights this Sunday. . . !}
10/23/09 originating on MyNetworkTV {in the United States} & on The SCORE {in Canada}
commentating by RAW's WWE Hall of Famer Jerry "The King" Lawler & Michael Cole
from the Colonial Life Arena in Columbia, South Carolina; now in WWE~HD
WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion Chris Jericho Ayatollah of Rock & Rollahs to the ring, where Y2J declares that his legendary status will be further extended, as not only ½ of the WWE Unified Tag Team champions, but also as the mastermind team captain of this Sunday's winning team; every time he steps into the ring, he wins. . . his greatness' omnipotent. . . but he knows that in order to shut the giant oral cavity of RAW's D-Generation X @ Bragging Rights, he needs to tweak his team a little, tune it up a little more ~ in short, he needs to know if the other 6 men on Team Smackdown are worthy of his leadership; they're gonna prove their dominance Sunday, just like he & Kane are gonna prove their dominance over Dave "The Animal" Batista & Rey Mysterio Junior later tonight; JTG thugnificents to the ringside area, where he states that he doesn't need to witness any "manhandling" by the ÜberStar of Jerichlean Proportions & naw, before Jericho even goes there, Shad Gaspard's feeling a little sick, so he's @ home; well, the thing that makes Chris sick's that he has to team up with Cryme Tyme @ all, maybe Shad caught something from these sycophants in the Smackdown Universe, these incubators in the crowd, but he doesn't care. . . does JTG know what an honour it is to stand in the same ring as the King of My World, can he ever have a chance @ living up to the grandeur of Jericho's awesomeness; EXCUSE HER! . . . Vickie Guerrero milfs out onto the ring entrance ramp stage, where she declares that, as the official spokesperson for Team Smackdown, it gives her great pleasure to announce her new boyfriend, Eric Escobar, who Latino Tempers to the ring & states that he heard a lot of talk on Monday from DX, claiming to not know who he is, but after he leads his team to victory @ Bragging Rights, nobody will ever forget his name again; speaking of people remembering guy's names, Dolph Ziggler saunters out to the ring, where he proclaims that he's gonna be the 1 responsible for bringing Team Smackdown to victory this Sunday, which's something that the former Spirit Squader won't stand for any interference with; there he goes again, JTG's just sick & tired of listening to this guy run his mouth, so he points out that Ziggler lost all 4 of his previous Intercontinental title matches & was even dumb enough to dump the hottest Diva in WWE, Maria Kanellis, so maybe he should change his name to Dolph Loser; well, out comes Drew McIntyre, who states that he wouldn't concern himself about losing @ Bragging Rights, if he were Jericho, because they have him on their team, a man who was hand-picked & personally signed by WWE Owner Vince McMahon himself. . . & while McIntyre's @ it, he's a little confused as to why he wasn't made the team captain himself; & in case you were wondering who was missing, Kane pyros to the ring, where the Bald Red Machine proclaims that none of the men in that ring are qualified to fight alongside him. . . yeah, Y2J too! . . . yeah, so anyway, the BalderTaker states that since he & Jericho will be busy with Batista & Mysterio already, that the others on the team should be busy as well, because they want to be on the team, right? . . . because since 1 of the remaining 5 Superstars called in sick this week, it seems a little wary, so anything RAW can do, Smackdown can do better. . . but since they can't do a 5-on-5 match, they'll instead have a 5-on-4 Handicap match & the caveat's that if they get beaten, then all 5 will be replaced by the 5 men who defeat them tonight; 4-ON-5 HANDICAP TAG TEAM MATCH: Down 1 Beast (Thinkin' About Bein' My Brother {JTG & Dolph Ziggler} & Galloway~Perez {Drew McIntyre & Eric Escobar}) versus Last Chances @ Bragging Rights (Fit Finlay, Killings Me Hardy {"R~Truth" Ron Killings & Matt Hardy} & the Calgary Bulldogs {Tyson Kidd & David Hart Smith}); Hardy defeats JTG with a Finlay-Applied Shillelagh to The Knee {PSYCHOLOGY: wow!!}
in the General Manager's office, Theodore R. Long looks on as CM Punk tells Referee Scott Armstrong that he shouldn't concern himself with his own reputation or that of his family, he's just being selfish ~ this isn't about Armstrong, it's about the Straight-Edge Superstar becoming the Heavyweight champion once again; naw, naw, here's how it is according to Teddy, he's still under probation & could not only lose his job if WWE Owner Vince McMahon, but could also lose his life @ the hands of the current Heavyweight champion UnderTaker; so explain to Punk how, in Montreal, they both knew what they had to do, but now they're all shady or something; well, all Scott knows' that a man's only worth his good name & he doesn't care if he ends up on the chopping block for it, he ain't putting his reputation on the line for nobody- oh hi, Vinnie-Mac, you wanna talk, huh? . . .
a video package plays, showing Mike Knox stating that blunt abdominal trauma's the most severe pain that the human body can endure & it doesn't matter how finely toned Intercontinental champion John Morrison may be in that area, once it's injured the results are the same ~ your liver collapses & leaks bile into your bloodstream, causing internal shock, isn't that something: . . . ; the Shaman of Sexy defeats the Beard Dweller with a 'Starship Pain' Split-Legged Corkscrew Moonsault in This Non-Title Match {PSYCHOLOGY: so, then why wasn't it a title match, if it was 1 of those "foregone conclusion" matches?!}; after the match, Morrison grabs a mic & declares that, while his former partner, RAW United States champion Mike "The Miz" Mizanin, may be busy trying to prove that he's 2016 WWE Hall of Famer "HeartBreak Kid" Shawn Michaels {or @ least not Marty Jannetty @ any rate}, the Smackdown Universe knows who their Friday Night Delight is, the I-C champion
DID YOU KNOW. . . last month, over 100,000,000 photos of WWE ringside action were viewed on www.WWE.com! . . . ; betcha the new Team Smackdown knew that, as they're all backstage basking in the glory of having on their match a little while ago, so that now they've proven themselves to WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion Chris Jericho & co-captain Kane, so they both expect "R~Truth" Ron Killings, Fit Finlay, Matt Hardy & the Calgary Bulldogs to follow their lead; hey, knock off with the General Patton treatment, Killings' ready to fight, same as Finlay, Tyson Kidd & David Hart Smith are sure to be on the same page & Matt Hardy would want nothing more than to disgrace & humiliate Team RAW this Sunday to show that Smackdown's the superior show
backstage, Mickie James' seen talking to WWE Hall of Famer Mae Young, who also gets a faceful of Women's champion Michelle McCool as well, though it's a real shame that the former Alexis Laree didn't make it onto the Team Smackdown Divas team. . . yeah, James's sure that McCool's all broken up about it, Michelle can keep telling herself that Natalya Neidhart & "Glamazon" Beth Phoenix are more talented than Mickie all she wants, but she knows that they all know the truth ~ McCool's scared because she knows that James can show her up & will eventually take that belt away from her; as James stalks off, Phoenix walks by to introduce herself to Mae, then thanks Michelle for allowing her onto the Team Smackdown Divas team. . . but however, she shouldn't get too comfortable with that title across her shoulder, as Beth's soon coming for it; when Michelle tries to take out some latent aggression on the WWE Hall of Famer, Young lays some palm across the chops of the Women's champion
in the backstage area, Dave "The Animal" Batista's still trying to convince Rey Mysterio Junior that his shoulder was off the mat, but all the Biggest Little Man saw was the 1-2-3; well anyway, let Rey-Rey get back to Dave about what he really wanted to say, he & Dominick watched Batista's new DVD & there was a lot of stuff on there that Mysterio didn't know about. . . well, all the Animal knows' that for the next disc, they'd better have plenty of room for his Heavyweight title win @ Bragging Rights, seeya out there in the following SMACKDOWN 1st HOUR MAIN EVENT, TAG TEAM MATCH: Amigo Heat (Rey Mysterio Junior & Dave "The Animal" Batista) versus Pith & Vinegar (Kane & WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion Chris Jericho); Batista pins Kane with a 'Spear' Charging Shouldertackle {PSYCHOLOGY: yikes!}
WWE Magazine presents "the History of WWE", available now @ www.WWEShop.com
in the General Manager's office, Theodore R. Long & Referee Scott Armstrong both seem sullen, even though WWE Owner Vince McMahon & CM Punk seem excited about the upcoming Heavyweight title match, the Straight-Edge Superstar's ready to become the 4-time champion; Teddy deserves a gold star for his efforts in this match, but Vinnie-Mac just wants to make sure that they have an impartial referee, he wants everybody involved to do their jobs; can you smell that, autumn, the change in the air, something's gonna change, what starts here will end @ WrestleMania ~ Fan Axxess, the Hall of Fame, everything. . . y'know, there's the possibility that "Bullet" Bob Armstrong might be entered into the HoF this year, if Scott plays his cards right. . . this is gonna be good, all everybody has to do's their jobs
SMACKDOWN DIVAS MATCH: Mickie James beats Layla El with a 'Mick Kick' Crescent Kick {PSYCHOLOGY: all typed up, once I'd seen that Layla was the opponent!}
a video package plays, reviewing the wrestling legacy of the late Captain Lou Albano, 1933-2009
another video package plays, this 1 hyping "the Unauthorized History of DX", a book chronicling the rise of WWE's most juvenile faction in its otherwise-illustrious history
the official theme for Bragging Rights' "Step Up {I'm On It}" by Maylene & the Sons of Disaster, from the album 3, available now; the BRAGGING RIGHTS CARD SO FAR: 14-Man Inter-Promotional Tag Team match, Team RAW (HHH, 2016 WWE Hall of Famer "HeartBreak Kid" Shawn Michaels, Kofi Kingston, WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion The Big Show, "All-American American" Jack Swagger, Cody Rhodes & "World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry) versus Team Smackdown (WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion Chris Jericho, Kane, "R~Truth" Ron Killings, Matt Hardy, Fit Finlay, Tyson Kidd & David Hart Smith). . . Fatal 4-Way, Smackdown Heavyweight champion the UnderTaker versus Dave "The Animal" Batista versus CM Punk versus Rey Mysterio Junior. . . 1-hour "Anything Goes" Iron Man match, RAW Heavyweight champion "Legend Killer" Randy Orton versus John Cena. . . RAW United States champion Mike "The Miz" Mizanin versus Smackdown Intercontinental champion John Morrison. . . 6-Divas Inter-Promotional Tag Team match, Team RAW (Divas champion Melina Perez, Gail Kim & Kelly Kelly) versus Team Smackdown (Women's champion Michelle McMool, Natalya Neidhart & "Glamazon" Beth Phoenix); before the following match, CM Punk states that he can't describe how incredible it feels, whenever he walks into an arena, that he dissect each & every member of the Smackdown Universe, just like he can reduce any member of the home viewing audience to tears in the blink of an eye. . . but even all that has nothing on how it's gonna feel for him to make the Heavyweight champion UnderTaker tap out for the 2nd time; Punk knows that the entire Smackdown Universe are all thinking that the Dead Man's gonna pull some magical & mystical solution out of a hat, but he won't, because the Straight-Edge Superstar's Bragging Rights start right here & right now, when he once again becomes the Straight-Edge Heavyweight champion & the best part's that there's nothing that the Smackdown Universe can do about it; DID YOU KNOW. . . visitors spent more time on www.WWEUniverse.com, than www.MySpace.com ~ www.Twitter.com ~ www.FaceBook.com! . . . ; naw, betcha the Straight-Edge Superstar doesn't even believe that, as he prepares to take part in the following SMACKDOWN 2nd HOUR MAIN EVENT, HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE, SUBMISSION MATCH: champion the UnderTaker makes CM Punk Submit with a 'Devil's Gate' Figure 4 Chokehold {PSYCHOLOGY: just when it looked like the Straight-Edge Superstar was about to get 1 over on the Dead Man!}