08/17/09 originating on USA Network {in the United States} & simulcast on the Score {in Canada}
commentating by WWE Hall of Famer Jerry "The King" Lawler & Michael Cole
from the Scottrade Center in St. Louis, Missouri; now in WWE~HD
Celebrity Guest Host Freddie Prinze Junior Buffy-****ers to the ring, where he geeks out @ the prospect of being here as a life-long WWE fan ~ from the 100s & 100s of WWE action figures that are still in his closet, to the Coliseum Videos that are hosted by WWE Hall of Famer "Mean" Gene Okerlund, all the way to the ice cream cookies that made you throw up if you ate them; tonight, he gets to stand in this ring & be in charge, but tonight's not about what Freddie wants, it's about what the RAW Universe wants; since Summerslam's right around the corner, Prinze figured that he's gonna start off big tonight, the Divas & United States titles will both be defended tonight & if that's not enough for ya, then tonight marks the return of a little group known as D-Generation X; just now, a guy dressed in a long black slicker & matching rain hat, with a hook in 1 hand, stomps to the ring, where he gravelly declares that he knows what Freddie did last summer, while he likewise knows what Prinze's gonna do this summer. . . namely, include Santino Marella in his new movie, I Still Know What You Did About 12 Summers Ago ~ the Milan Miracle plays a very good bad guy, after all. . . but Santino doesn't need to be in a horror movie, he can be in a romantic comedy, where he puts on a douchie wig & glasses, he's obviously a nerd, but then Freddie made a bet with that guy from the Fast & the Furious, so now POW he's a sexy-hot guy; well, that sounds good & all, but he needs a little something else. . . wait, Marella has it, he has to become Freddie's partner in 24, darting down to ringside & demanding that Ring Announcer Lilian Garcia tell him where she put the bomb, doesn't she know that terrorism isn't funny business, she's gonna tell him what she needs to tell him & it's just a matter of time &$ how much pain she wants to feel. . . & scene, as Marella heads back to the ring to get his kudos from Freddie, maybe he should just go get on the phone with Keifer & that Werewolf Killer that Prinze married, to tell them that the Milan Miracle's a real hactoré; well, as long as Santino goes backstage & rehearses for the next 2 hours, Prinze's gonna go call everybody he knows. . . & @ least he didn't do any Scooby Doo jokes; before getting side-tracked, he has an amazing Main Event & $he's not gonna make them wait; Heavyweight champion "Legend Killer" Randy Orton, on the other hand, is more than happy to make the RAW Universe wait, as he saunters to the ring to come face-to-face with the Celebrity Guest Host, where he reminds us all that tonight he's teaming up with the man that he's facing Sunday @ Summerslam, but he refuses to join forces with John Cena tonight, or do anything else for that matter; well, this is St. Louis & Freddie states that, since this is Randy's home town, he's not about to disappoint all these people by letting the Heavyweight champion off tonight; well, Orton has absolutely nothing in common with these slack-jawed yokels, he doesn't care what they want & demands that Prinze take him out of the match; does Freddie look like Seth Green or Jeremy Piven to Randy, don't even try to bully Freddie, there was a match made last week & he;s not about to change it, the Legend Killer & the Doctor of Thuganomics will take on WWE Unified Tag Team champions Chris Jericho & the Big Show; well, dem's choking-out-the-Celebrity-Guest-Host words, as the Heavyweight champion leaves Freddie laying in the ring, with various WWE officials scampering to his aide; meanwhile, we're onto the following RAW UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH: champion Kofi Kingston pins Carlito Caribbean Cool with a 'Trouble in Paradise' Xuanfengjiao Tornado Kick {PSYCHOLOGY: nice match, hopefully it's the 1st of many for the pair}
DID YOU KNOW. . . RAW was watched by more teens {12-17} than the Teen Choice Awards on FOX! . . . ; betcha DX knew that, as a video package plays, showing some of the various antics of HHH & 2016 WWE Hall of Famer "HeartBreak Kid" Shawn Michaels over the past Decade of Delinquency
Mike "The Miz" Mizanin smarms to the ring in his new trunks & lack-of-metrosexually-ambiguous hat, where he proclaims his new look's only the 1st stage in landing his very 1st singles title here in WWE, namely the United States title, so champion Kofi Kingston'd better enjoy that pretty hunk of leather & gold while he still has in, maun; the Miz beats Evan Bourne with a 'Skull-Crushing Finale' Full-Nelson Facebuster {PSYCHOLOGY: right on the face!!}
in the parking garage, a white stretch limousine, with "DX" spray painted onto it, arrives, ejecting HHH by choice & 2016 WWE Hall of Famer "HeartBreak Kid" Shawn Michaels by force; as they're heading to the ring, Jillian Hall starts marking out musically, singing the D-Generation X theme, causing the Game to dump a garbage can on top of her head, while Alicia Fox quivers nearby; just as the Cerebral Assassin comments on how this place never changes & there's always somebody about to jump out of somewhere to do something stupid, Santino Marella leaps off of the stairs of a nearby production truck, still channeling Keifer Sutherland & pointing his finger-gun, demanding to know where the bomb is, getting rewarded with a 'Sweet Chin Music' Superkick for his silly ineptitude; well, anyway, back to anticking to the ring, where the King of Kings & the Showstopper sport their old shtick & new D-Generation X shirts. . . HBK hands HHH a mic, which prompts the Game to marvel @ the reaction of the RAW Universe, then asks Shawn if it's good to be back. . . Alanis in "Dogma" help him, he loves this stuff; well, in that case, the Cerebral Assassin just needs to know 1 thing, are you ready? . . . no, the King of Kings asked, are. . . you. . . ready to attack DX, Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase Junior; just as Michaels & HHH start to turn the tide back in their favour, Rhode$ to Ri¢he$ beat down both D-Gener8s again; Ted then kneels down beside HHH & smarmily retorts that yes, they're indeed ready, for Summerslam this Sunday
RAW DIVAS TITLE MATCH: champion Mickie James defeats Gail Kim with a Roll-Up {PSYCHOLOGY: hey, what do you know, WWE followed up on a vaguely-set-up #1 Contendership, unlike what they did with Cryme Tyme a few years ago, when they were the #1 Contenders for the RAW Tag Team championships against then-champions for the longest time Rhode$ to Ri¢he$, then JTG & Shad Gaspard got their punk-arses released!}; after the match, James helps Kim to her feet, inspiring many adolescent fantasies about what those 2 will be doing backstage, to celebrate their hot & sweaty "mutual respect"
backstage, ECWWE's Josh Mathews bothers John Cena, who reminds us that Heavyweight champion "Legend Killer" Randy Orton uses all of his resources & $any means necessary to gain & then retain his title, therefore rightfully so he's considered the most successful Superstar in WWE, but despite this success, Orton has some problems. . . namely everybody else but Randy himself; he has a problem with the Doctor of Thuganomics being his Tag Team partner tonight, he has a big problem performing in front of the St. Louis RAW Universe & seemingly has the biggest problem just being a man; everybody has problems ~ the Chain Gang Commander has a zit on his face, he hates being cut off in traffic & absolutely detests when his dog poops on the floor; the major difference between everybody else & the Legend Killer's that everybody else knows how to deal with their problems constructively ~ hell, if Cena'd complained about his troubles, then he wouldn't wrestle WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion the Big Show, for fear of being eaten. . . nor would he team with the Heavyweight champion tonight, as he's afraid to drown in the overly abundant baby oil dripping off of his body. . . he can't fight WWE Unified Tag Team co-champion Chris Jericho because he never learned to reeeeeeead. . . but rather than channel the Legend Killer, John Cena instead opts to be his own man, deciding to head down to the ring & face his adversity; he'll give Randy every honest chance to fight by John's side tonight, but Summerslam's a much different thing, as next week on RAW, the champ's here; well, actually, the champs are already hear, proclaims Y2J as he steps on-camera, detailing how Cena left out a few omissions that are as glaring as the pimple on his face. . . Cena dropped the Ayatollah of Rock & Rollah on his face last week, which means the Chain Gang Commander's now got a former WCW Giant problem with TBS, who likewise steps on-camera & declares that the Doctor of Thuganomics mightn't even make it to Summerslam, after tonight. . .
a video package plays, advertizing Breaking Point, live on pay-per-view, September 13th @ the Centre Bell in Montreal, Quebec ~ for tickets, call (514) 790-2525 or 1-877-668-8269, or check out www.geg.ca
Montell Vontavius Porter beats "All-American American" Jack Swagger via Disqualification After Swagger Refused to Stop Bashing MVP {PSYCHOLOGY: looks like a No Disqualification ~ Extreme Rules match for these 2 in the not-so-distant future!}
a video package plays, advertizing Summerslam, live on pay-per-view, this Sunday @ the Staples Center in Los Angeles, California
FALLS-COUNT-ANYWHERE MATCH: Hornswaggle defeats Chavo Guerrero After Home Aloning Chavito Heat in the Melon With a Paint Can {PSYCHOLOGY: hilarious!!}; after Guerrero comes to, he accuses "World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry of setting up that gag, then hears from Macauley Calkin that it wasn't all that funny
a video package plays, hyping boxer Floyd "Money" Mayweather as the Celebrity Guest Host of RAW next week, live from Las Vegas, Nevada; before the following match, Celebrity Guest Host Freddie Prinze Junior saunters out onto the ring entrance ramp stage, where he states that he's taking a page from Heavyweight champion "Legend Killer" Randy Orton, making this a Lumberjack match, composed of people who don't like him very much ~ namely Mark Henry, Montell Vontavius Porter, Jamie Knoble, United States champion Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne & Primo Colon ~ RAW MAIN EVENT. TAG TEAM LUMBERJACK MATCH: WWE Unified Tag Team champions Worst Case Scenario (Chris Jericho & the Big Show) versus Stormin' On Chumps Like They're Thunder & Lightning (John Cena & RAW Heavyweight champion "Legend Killer" Randy Orton); Cena pins Jericho with an 'Attitude Adjuster' Fisherman's Slam in This Non-Title Match {PSYCHOLOGY: slamtastic!}; after the match, Orton hears a boo, when he drops the Doctor of Thuganomics with an 'RKO' Modified Ace Crusher, then scurries away before the Lumberjacks can get their hands on him, but even those guys start having troubles, as Y2J & TBS start horfing them, leaving the Chain Gang Commander to somehow persevere against the WWE Unified Tag Team champions
* * * * *
08/18/09 originating on SyFy {in the United States} & rebroadcast on Global {in Canada} the following Friday, late-night
commentating by Josh Mathews & the Slammy Award-winning Matt Striker
from the Sprint Center in Kansas City, Missouri; now in WWE~HD
Hurricane Helms beats "Ripper" Paul Burchill with an 'Eye of The Hurricane' Spinning Headlock Elbow Drop {PSYCHOLOGY: I loved the comic book references that Striker was dropping. . . but is it really true that www.WWE.com has separate bios of Hurricane & Gregory Helms?!}
backstage, Courtney Taylor bothers "Innovator of Extreme" Tommy Dreamer, who states that of course he & Heavyweight champion Christian are still friends, even after their bout @ Night of Champions, but it just goes to prove how much the title means to both of them; tonight, Dreamer's gonna be happy to wrestle somebody he actually doesn't like, but right now, Courtney needs to go, as here comes William Regal now, who smarms about how beat up Tommy is from his most recent battles, but in reality it's a ruse to allow Vladimir Kozlov to assault the Innovator of Extreme, as both men beat down the ECW Original viciously, ending in a hellacious boot to the noggin from Regal & a hellacious brow-Ruskeying from Kozlov; DID YOU KNOW. . . www.WWEClassics.com has over 1,500 matches from World Wrestling Entertainment, Extreme Championship Wrestling, the National Wrestling Alliance, World Class Championship Wrestling, the American Wrestling Association & World Championship Wrestling! . . . ; betcha the WWE Trainers knew that, as they give Dreamer a hand back to his feet
Abraham Washington saunters out onto the ring entrance ramp stage, where he thanks the ECWWE Universe for their warm welcome that apparently only he hears, then welcomes everybody to his show; well, since he's getting mixed reactions to his APPLAUSE sign, so 1 of 2 things' happening ~ either they can't see or they can't read & since he don't see no seeing eye dogs in the audience, so maybe the Kansas City fans are ignorant, but they should all get Hooked on Phonics, because reading's fundamental; naw, he's just kiddin', but they're only 6 days away the biggest event of the season, Summerslam, in his 2nd home, Los Angeles, where Abraham gets to run shoulders with the biggest stars in his industry ~ Jay, Conan, Jimmy, y'know what he's sayin'; now, they might be miffed @ Washington, because his ratings might be higher than theirs, but it's all good, as long as their ratings are higher than Dave's; speaking of Hollywood, please welcome Abraham's guest tonight, the very bizarre Goldust, who totally-heterosexual-wink-winks onto the ring entrance ramp stage & confesses to being a little different, nothing wrong about that; now, over the past few weeks, Goldie's been involved in some thugtastic violence against Sheamus O'Shaunessy, but all the former WWF Intercontinental champion has to say about that's- that's- that's- erk! . . . ; now hold up a second, where's Ashton Kutcher, Washington's getting Punk'd for sure, with this behaviour; listen, he must know by now, about 6½ years ago, the former Dustin Rhodes got electrocu-CU-cu-electrocuted, but he's on medication every day to manage his new condition; naw, ain't no way Goldust's taking his medicine, he must be taking a placebo, it's like a gazebo; now, speaking of Sheamus, Abraham has another special guest tonight, namely the man who gets a sunburn walking past a sunflower, who'd rather stand for what he has to say to the former Black Reign, he got lucky last week, so it's time for Goldie to get ready to be taken down by O'Shaunessy, nobody beats the Celtic Warrior twice backstage, Courtney Taylor bothers General Manager Tiffany, who states that "Innovator of Extreme" Tommy Dreamer has a concussion, so therefore he can't compete tonight; however, if Heavyweight champion Christian can find another partner, then she has no problem booking the match as-is with a new competitor in the corner of the Peeps' Champion
Zack Ryder defeats Yoshi Tatsu with a Roll-Up {PSYCHOLOGY: after the purofesshonaru resuringu misses a top-rope elbow}; after the mach, the former EdgeHead rubs it in, by uttering his craptastic catchphrase
a video package plays, hyping boxer Floyd "Money" Mayweather as the Celebrity Guest Host of RAW next week, live from Las Vegas, Nevada
the SUMMERSLAM CARD SO FAR: RAW Heavyweight champion "Legend Killer" Randy Orton versus John Cena. . . Smackdown Heavyweight champion Jeff Hardy versus CM Punk in a Tables, Ladders & Chairs Match. . . ECWWE Heavyweight champion Christian versus William Regal. . . RAW Grudge Tag Team match, D-Generation X (2016 WWE Hall of Famer "HeartBreak Kid" Shawn Michaels & HHH) versus Rhode$ to Ri¢he$ (Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase Junior). . . Smackdown Intercontinental champion Rey Mysterio Junior versus Dolph Ziggler. . . WWE Unified Tag Team champions Worst-Case Scenario (Chris Jericho & the Big Show) versus Smackdown's Cryme Tyme (JTG & Shad Gaspard); in the General Manager's office, Tiffany consoles the Peeps' Champion, who doesn't care if he has to take on Kozlov & Regal himself, but the former Playboy Bunny can't consent to his taking part in a Handicap match; in steps somebody who the Instant Classic can use as a partner in the following MAIN EVENT, TAG TEAM MATCH: Allies of Evil (William Regal & Vladimir Kozlov) versus Caged Rycklon (Heavyweight champion Christian & Ezekiel Jackson); the Final King of the Ring pins the Instant Classic with a Jackson-Applied 'Big & Bad' Urinagi Bomb {PSYCHOLOGY: curse him, that nefarious turncoat!}; after the match, Regal, Kozlov & Jackson stand triumphant, before Ezekiel picks up the Peeps' Champion for another 'Big & Bad' Urinagi Bomb for bad measure
* * * * *
08/20/09 originating on WGN America {in the United States}
RAW commentating by WWE Hall of Famer Jerry "The King" Lawler & Michael Cole
ECWWE commentating by Josh Mathews & Slammy-Award-winning Matt Striker
Smackdown commentating by WWE Hall of Famer Jim Ross & the Slammy Award-winning Todd Grisham
RAW DIVAS MATCH: "Glamazon" Beth Phoenix beats Kelly Kelly with a 'Glam Slam' Elevated Wheelbarrow Faceplant {PSYCHOLOGY: surprise!}
ECWWE MATCH: "Gold Standard" Shelton Benjamin defeats Tyler Reks with a 'Paydirt' Leaping Reverse Space Tornado Ogawa {PSYCHOLOGY: ouchies!}
the official theme song for Summerslam's "You Gotta Move" by Aerosmith, from the album Honkin' on Bobo, on tour all summer long ~ check out www.aeroforceone.com for tickets & information; Summerslam's live on pay-per-view on August 23rd
SMACKDOWN MATCH: "R~Truth" Ron Killings pins Charlie Haas with a 'Lie Detector' Corkscrew Elbow {PSYCHOLOGY: another example of having it all typed up before the opening bell!}
a video package plays, hyping the swaggertastic awesomeness of Smackdown's John Morrison, as if I needed any further convincing!
MAIN EVENT, RAW MATCH: "World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry beats "Masterpiece" Chris Masters via Countout {PSYCHOLOGY: what's up with that, RAW gets 2 matches?!}
* * * * *
08/21/09 originating on MyNetworkTV {in the United States} & on The SCORE {in Canada}
commentating by Slammy Award-winning Todd Grisham & 2007 WWE Hall of Famer Jim Ross
from the Sprint Center in Kansas City, Missouri; now in WWE~HD
6-MAN TAG TEAM MATCH: the Masked Perpetrators (Intercontinental champion Rey Mysterio Junior & Cryme Tyme {JTG & Shad Gaspard}) versus the Watchmen (Dolph Ziggler & WWE Unified Tag Team champions Worst Case Scenario {Chris Jericho & the Big Show}); Ziggler defeats Mysterio with a Roll-Up {PSYCHOLOGY: a solid 15+ minute match, to open the show with!}
a video package plays, hyping the upcoming network television event "WrestleMania 25", 1 week from tomorrow
the official theme song for Summerslam's "You Gotta Move" by Aerosmith, on tour all summer long ~ check out www.aeroforceone.com for tickets & information; Summerslam's live on pay-per-view on August 23rd
backstage, ECWWE's Josh Mathews bothers Matt Hardy, who states that, ever since he was a kid, he'd always looked after his brother, current Heavyweight champion Jeff Hardy, so that if anybody went after the Rainbow-Haired Warrior, they'd have to deal with the former Mattitude Practitioner as well; allow him to explain his actions of 2008, when Matt was doing everything in his power to actually keep Jeff away from the title he now holds ~ he wants to be honest to everybody & get it all out in the open. . . it's hard being the more competitive brother, watching as the Charismatic Enigma became more popular within the Smackdown Universe & when that happened, there was a nasty competitive nature that brewed inside of Matt, bringing forth a highly negative & dark nature in himself; he can definitely say, without a shadow of a doubt, that turning against his Rainbow-Haired Warrior little brother was the single-greatest mistake in his entire life & he's not sure if he'd've been man enough to even forgive himself. . . but the 1 thing that Matt can take comfort in's that Jeff's willing to move on, so that they can both stand in the ring together, as Team 2xtreme flies high again
Kane angers to the ring, where he declares that last week, he proved that there's only 1 dominant giant on Smackdown & his name's not the Great Khali; the fear that the Bald Red Machine instilled in Ranjin Singh was something that the Farsi Flinger's never inspired; the BalderTaker was that look, the source of Khali's weakness is the little runt that accompanies him to the ring, proving that the Punjabi Playboy cares, while Kane detests & @ Summerslam, the Bald Red Machine's gonna end the myth of the Great Khali; the BalderTaker doesn't fear Khali, but the Farsi Flinger'd better learn to fear Kane; well, dem's stomping-to-the-ring words, as the Great Khali swats away a swung chair, then beats down the Bald Red Machine until he scampers backstage, out of harm's way
DID YOU KNOW. . . last month, www.WWE.com had more unique visitors, visits & page views than www.NASCAR.com ~ www.SI.com ~ www.NHL.com ~ UFC.com ~ www.NFL.com ! . . . ; betcha Mike Knox knew that, as a video package plays, showing how he knows what Fit Finlay's going through. . . Fear Paralysis Reflex, when a body's so full of terrifying stimuli, that it's unable to move, but don't worry, Knox'll move him; Fit beats Mike via Disqualification After Knox Refuses to Stop Beating Down Finlay {PSYCHOLOGY: that sounds so familiar. . . !}; after the match, the larger man grabs the steel ring steps to take out some further latent aggression on the Tough Irish ****, but Finlay manages to hold Knox off for a few minutes with his Shillelagh, but ultimately to no avail
a video package plays, advertizing Breaking Point, live on pay-per-view, September 13th @ the Centre Bell in Montreal, Quebec ~ for tickets, call (514) 790-2525 or 1-877-668-8269, or check out www.geg.ca
Heavyweight champion Jeff Hardy EndeavorAfters to the ring, which's surrounded by Tables, Ladders & Chairs & with his own title hanging from the ceiling; the Rainbow-Haired Warrior's been thinking a lot about what's been going on in WWE in the past few months, glad that he & his brother Matt are @ peace @ last ~ the Hardy Boyz made the TLC Match famous; sometimes, life's just not fair, sometimes you're dealt a hand that's really hard to play & last week, the Charismatic Enigma was dealt a very serious blow, when his doctor advised him that he shouldn't take part in any physically-strenuous activities; Jeff's 31 years old & their advise to him was to retire before it's too late, but Hardy's never been 1 to follow doctor's orders & he doesn't plan to start now; there'll be no time to think on top of a ladder, where CM Punk will have a chance to claim the Rainbow-Haired Enigma's Heavyweight title on Sunday, but the space between the top of the ladder & the mat's his. . . the sound of tables crashing's music to his ears. . . steel chairs bashing humanity's a song that he wrote a long time ago; it'll take a lot more than a steel chair to stop the Charismatic Warrior from competing against the Straight-Edge Superstar @ Summerslam in their TLC Match; accepting his cue, Punk Killswitch Engages to the ring, where he looks up @ the ladder-mounted Hardy & asks if Jeff's nervous being up there, so. . . high. . . especially in the condition that he's in tonight, assuredly the Rainbow-Haired Charismatic Enigmatic Warrior's drunk out of his gord, just like all the members of the Smackdown Universe in attendance tonight. . . yeah, that's something to be proud of, since you'd have to be drunk to stomach this Live In The Moment **** that Jeff's spewing, after all, what's that lifestyle ever gotten the Heavyweight champion ~ a night in the hospital, maybe & for what, the adulation of these people & 1 brief moment of attention; Punk doesn't know what's sadder, the fans hanging on every word of the Rainbow-Haired Warrior, waiting for another pearl of wisdom to justify their own weaknesses. . . or the Charismatic Enigma, who thrives on the cheers & adulation of the Smackdown Universe; how's that for misguided, they actually think that the Heavyweight champion can beat the Straight-Edge Superstar this Sunday & apparently so does General Manager Theodore R. Long, who made this match, thinking of it as Jeff's match, which in reality it'll be Hardy's last match; when CM defeats the Rainbow-Haired Charismatic Enigmatic Warrior @ Summerslam & reclaims his Heavyweight title, it'll validate everything that Punk's said in the past, Straight-Edge's the way to be & will mean that he's better than Hardy; Punk has to get rid of Jeff, in order to show the Smackdown Universe it's time to just say no, they have to start living in his reality; there's no turning back from here on out, there's nothing left ~ @ Summerslam, Punk'll hurt him & remove the stain of bad examples that the Rainbow-Haired Warrior from WWE forever; the Straight-Edge Superstar can't remove the Charismatic Enigma, he's been in WWE for 10 years & will come out triumphant in the Tables~Ladders~Chairs Match Sunday; the Heavyweight champion clearly needs the Smackdown Universe to enable him, to justify his reckless behaviour, just like they need his lifestyle as justification for smoking, drinking & use of prescription medication; the Smackdown Universe lives vicariously through the Rainbow-Haired Charismatic Enigmatic Warrior, a man who by way of his lifestyle thinks he can fly; well, Jeff doesn't think he can fly, his spirit knows he can. . . well, let's find out, as Punk tips Hardy's ladder, causing the Heavyweight champion to land on his feet & deliver a 'Twist of Fate' Twisting Neckbreaker to boot, leaving the Straight-Edge Superstar sprawling in the ring
Women's champion Michelle McCool joins JR & Grisham @ ringside for special guest commentary for the following SMACKDOWN DIVAS TAG TEAM MATCH: 2M Innovation (Maria Kanellis & Melina Perez) versus L~E~N~N (Layla El & Natalya Neidhart); Melina defeats Natalya with a 'Last Call' Flipping Sitout Powerbomb {PSYCHOLOGY: a perfect bit of momentum going into Summerslam, where the former MNM'er takes on the Future Ex-Missues John Brad$haw Layfield!}
backstage, Cryme Tyme's too busy feeling down on themselves for Eve Torres to talk them into doing this week's edition of Word Up, so "Slam Master J" Jesse Dalton steps in to take over; when Shad Gaspard tells him not to get up in their business today, since they're both so concerned about WWE Unified Tag Team champions Chris Jericho & the Big Show, Slam Master J calls them a coupla Suspects, which just happens to be this week's word. . . a person, place, or thing that's suspicious; yo JTG made Y2J look like a punk in that ring, man Christina ain't got nothin' on him. . . & Shad's 6' 7", 295 pounds & every time he gets in the ring, he be bustin' heads, the only thing that TBS busts are buffets; come Summerslam, Cryme Tyme's gonna be the next WWE Unified Tag Team champions; elsewhere backstage, ECWWE's Josh Mathews bothers Intercontinental champion Rey Mysterio Junior, who balks @ the idea that he's not gonna put off a show in front of his home state @ Summerslam, so if Dolph Ziggler wants Sunday to be his night, then he's gonna have to bring it, because the Biggest Little Man always does
DID YOU KNOW. . . over the past 5 years, WWE Superstars have visited more than 200 military installations, forward operating bases, military hospitals, aircraft carriers, submarines & even the Pentagon! . . . ; betcha Natalya Neidhart knew that, as she accompanies her men to the ring for the following MAIN EVENT, 6-MAN TAG TEAM MATCH: the Flying Chucks (John Morrison & Team 2xtreme {Heavyweight champion Jeff Hardy & Matt Hardy}) versus the White & Pink & Black Attack (CM Punk & the Calgary Bulldogs {David Hart Smith & Tyson Kidd}); Matt pins Punk with a 'Twist of Fate' Twisting Neckbreaker {PSYCHOLOGY: classic Hardy Boyz teamwork, coupled with the athleticism of the Shaman of Sexy & the Straight-Edge Superstar, capped off with the raw unbridled potential of the New Hart Dynasty!}