A decade or so ago on an episode of WCW Monday Nitro Rey Misterio shocked the wrestling world by scoring a clean pin over Kevin Nash. Nash took a lackadaisical approach to the match with the much smaller Misterio and was caught "napping" as it were. The match itself worked because of the way it was booked; Nash dominant through most of it but overconfident and ended up losing to a man he should have easily beaten due to his ego.
Fast forward to modern day World Wrestling Entertainment and Rey Misterio, all 5'-6" 165lbs of him (and I think those stats are inflated, if he's a quarter of an inch over 5'-4" then I'm Superstar Billy Graham) is embroiled in a feud with the big monster Kane. Like Big Sexy before him Kane is near 7' tall and over 300lbs, but unlike Misterio's match with Nash his matches with Kane are not working and are flatter than can of soda that's been left out for a week. The reason for this is because Rey is being booked as if he's Kane's equal (or even superior to the Big Red Machine) when anybody over the age of 10 can plainly see that he is not.
Many Internet pundits ("dirt sheet writers") complain that the Big Show is so much bigger than the majority of his opposition that is impossible to suspend disbelief enough to buy that they could actually hurt him in any way, with few exceptions like Undertaker. I am here to make the argument that Rey is on the opposite end of the spectrum: he's so small that I find it impossible to suspend belief enough to buy that he can actually hurt an average sized wrestler, much less a large individual such as Kane. It is just too much to ask of me as a viewer to say "wow, Rey hit a 619 on Kane and splashed him for the 1-2-3" without dismissing it as ridiculous.
The major problem is not only is Rey small for a wrestler/superstar/entertainer/whatever, he's small when compared to the average sized man. At 5'-11" I am slightly taller than average and would absolutely tower over Rey, he wouldn't even come up to my shoulders. I'm pretty sure that if I were not able to physically take Rey in a fight (he is an athlete after all whereas I am not) I would be able to put a hurt on him and he would feel the affects of the encounter. If I were to tangle with Kane it would be a much different story. I would be destroyed with but a mere dismissive blow, left on the ground and in the fetal position.
Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that Rey should not be in the ring, but he most definitely should not be going toe to toe with the likes of Kane. Other than Rey coming to the ring with a glock and shooting Kane right between the eyes there is no plausible way that Kane can be defeated. I realize that wrestling is "scripted" and the matches are not "contested", but there has to be at least a modicum of believability. Why not bring back the Cruiserweight Title and division where Rey, Evan Bourne and all of the other little spot monkeys who wouldn't know ring psychology if it bit them in the crotch can do their thing without stepping into the ring with the likes of Kane, Khali, Show etc.? WCW proved that a Cruiserweight division can work. Start off with a tourniment to crown the new champion, have Rey win it since he is by far the biggest name of all the smaller guys on the roster, and give him an extended run with the title to give it credibility before having him drop it to someone else?
One thing's for sure, this whole "David vs Goliath" fairy tale stuff has got to stop. Please stop insulting my intelligence.
Next: How'd they find a way to make attractive women in skimpy outfits absolutely boring?
