Another year has passed and it was a weird one in fact for me. I was always on the run, just like how i like my life to be. Lost many friends, gained many and grew, evolved and learned how to be patient, be true to myself and don't be scared to show passion and support to those around you. Living in the country I got to watch the stars and listen to the coyotes and party hard around bonfires. Quading through scenic routes, watching cowboys thrown off rustled bulls and laugh as i danced the night away with all my friends. Even though alot has changed and happened I recall feeling a change in the air in january when i sat down in my barn yard, feeding my horse. The sun was just crossing the sky at noon and the snow glittered like gems. A weird feeling came over me. a change that i wasn't sure was going to be good. the change lasted a year then on my 21st birthday, November 25th, after a falling out with a certain someone, i felt that change again. it crawled in the living room like a shadow warrior. i smiled though. i felt free! the stress that i had burdened diminished and my worries all fell to pieces around me. Even though i cried cause my birthdays are cursed but i cried just cause life at that time was throwing knives at me and i wasn't catching them. But now, a week later i have never felt better!

So I am the way i was a year ago, not giving a care in the world. I don't need a boyfriend! I never had one! (if you get my drift) even though i loved him, i still learned to let him go silently, cause in the end, i realized he wasn't for me. now i am happy that we left on a truce and that we didn't hurt eachother. I think i was scared that i would hurt him but really I don't think he cared. I know it sounds harsh but i makes me feel better cause I don't like breaking hearts. its not me.

I am getting signs that I am on the right path and so much has been happening that is leading to one point. the future I know some of it cause weirdly i have precognition or prophetic dreams. even though i am a skeptic myself but i can't deny that the things that are happening i had dreamt the night or week before it happened.

Every so many nights i go to bed and there is a certain someone on the other side who is waiting and he always greets me with open arms. I cannot say whom it is for it a secret and a mystery for you to decipher. And its funny my dreams are where I belong, where 'we' belong. i remember he told me, "I wish i could dream like this more often" or "I want to give you so much more, you deserve the best and you have done so much for so many," but i know i may never meet him but i still carry a hope and happiness cause even though it may be a dream... they mean alot to me. but who knows. someday. maybe. someday.

now as i grow more, and learn more and evolve into something greater, I will look back and realize that i knew very little. i will take this step and go beyond. I know i don't belong 'here' and that i belong out there... we all know... i am a person who wants to teach many about alot of things.

but before i go, I want to thank all my friends, my family and those even though i have lost you either forever or for a while i thank you for the lessons you gave me in life. I wouldn't be here without all of you.

I love you guys