As the days get shorter and the night longer, it seems that summer went by with a flick of the wrist. This summer has been the best but of course had its downs. I wish sometimes i could just stop time and pause it... look at it... feel the moment... the energy, the emotions... I wish I could replay it so I feel move alive...

i have lost friends, but have also gained many... family deceased and not a day do I not think about him. Even though he was just a cat, he will always be like a brother. Frisky was 19 yrs old.

I met a friend whom shared the same lifestyle as me. A tomboy who did anything, anytime and went anywhere. I have never done so much in my life and it seems to have faded away when she moved. Both single and full of energy we hit up the bars, rodeos, went quading with a bunch of friends two hours away and even got flung off horses. I'm proud of her cause she is fullfilling her dream and jealous of her cause apparently there are alot of gorgeous cops over in depot O_o. Damn her as i wave my fist laughing. She always got the best out of life.

My best friend is pregnant, she deserves it. Her boyfriend treats her with respect and like a princess and i applaud her. her life wasn't as easy as most of ours and her life? well let's say she's a whole lot of steps in front of me and i keep pushin her farther ahead cause she is the bestest friend anyone could ask for and she deserves the best in life.

Friends moved and left me behind in a small town where pretty much you have to look for entertainment and things to do. my other friend, her and her husband just had their first kid and he is adorable. My sister is expecting baby number two and i am excited for another nephew. My brother and I bought a house just beside our parents cause how our properties are it has to stay in the family. I'm planning to buy my parents after I finally settle down... but when that is... i am not quite sure cause I am still a wild horse :)

The wedding was fantastic even though I was dateless haha go figures but i'm used to it. it seems my indepedancy is a bit intimidating to the boys around here haha and i know for the xmas party i will be showing up alone again haha

its weird growing up. it feels like it was just yesterday i graduated from highschool. A girl in our class is getting married and we had a social (a gathering for raising money for the couple that goes towards their wedding) and seeing all the people i went to school with fours years ago was pretty insane. you see considering we were a small town our class was pretty close. everyone is dating and getting married or having kids and I told my friend that i was going to be the last to get everything! hahaha and i know it'll happen cause i'd probably make it happen hahaha

wow summer is gone... its pretty sad... i used to always go to the end of the driveway cause i live in the country and just stand out in the field watching the stars. but now i can watch the northern lights bundled up in my warm jacket! lol i hate winter though :( everything is just sad and depressing and all i want to do is sleep

i just can't believe that i am almost twenty one lol november 25th... (grins John Cena returns 23rd) *whispers* good birthday present lol jk

i guess as everyone is gone i have to take a good look at my paths that lay before me... i've been finding excuses to stay but I know i should leave... i belong out there, not here. everyone here knows that and even my parents.

"So as i stand in the field with no one standing beside me... i stare at the stars above glistening like little white gems. I do not heed the warning of the shadows that cling to the trees like curtains for they sway with hollow threats. the grass hisses once more and silence engulfs my world... I smile softly as my white wings open and loose feathers get lost in the whispering air. behind me i hear footsteps and they suddenly stop. I turn around and see a familiar face standing there... I've been waiting for this moment for a long time. He smiles at me. I cross my hands behind my back and tilt my head with another shy smile and greet him, "Welcome Back."

I don't want this moment, to ever end,
Where everything's nothing, without you.
I'll wait here forever just to, to see you smile,
Cause it's true, I am nothing without you.

Through it all, I've made my mistakes.
I stumble and fall,
But I mean these words.

I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul,
I'll hold on to this moment you know.
As I bleed my heart out to show, and I won't let go.

Thoughts read are spoken, forever and now.
Pieces of memories fall to the ground.
I know what I did and how so, I won't let this go.
Cause it's true, I am nothing without you.

All the streets, where I walked alone,

With nowhere to go.
Have come to an end.

I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul,
I hold on to this moment you know.
As I bleed my heart out to show, and I won't let go.

In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies,
When you don't know what you're looking to find.
In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies,
When you just never know what you will find.

What you will find, what you will find
What you will find, what you will find

I don't want this moment to ever end.
Where everything's nothing without you.

I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul,
I hold on to this moment you know.
As I bleed my heart out to show, and I won't let go.

I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul,
I hold on to this moment you know.
As I bleed my heart out to show, and I won't let go.

"I've lost many friends yet gained many... I made a promise and i stand by my words... as the years pass on i will not hesitate to remember... you are still part of me as I am still part of you. even though you are not here, you are still alive in my heart. I won't let you go"