Watching my first live Pay-Per-View since Vengeance 2005, I got pretty hyped up for the 22nd edition of the old Thanksgiving
Team Shawn Michaels Vs Team John Bradshaw Layfield
Traditional Survivor Series Match
Cap’n Highpants lead his team of Giant, Thieving, Bible Thumping Midgets into battle against Team Awesome captained by JBL. Shock, freaking horror as MVP finally got a pinfall over JTG after 13 straight losses… Sure, his team didn’t win, but hell it’s good enough for now. When will Rey Mysterio & Kane stop feuding, it’s embarrassing watching that midget jumping bean beat Kane again, and again, and again. Anyway, after playing JBL for a fool, it left Team Awesome with one Awesome member left… The Tuesday Night Delight, John Morrison. Some Sweet Shaman Music was ducked and then Sweet Chin Music connected and the “WWE Universe” cried… Well, they should have. Those freakin’ marks.
Team Beth Phoenix (RAW) Vs Team Michelle McCool (Smackdown)
Divas Match
Usually, this is the bathroom break match, but for some reason, I don’t need to go for a piss. So, I sat through this match. Why, oh why, oh why do the bookers belittle our intelligence by having the powerful champion and some jobber diva as the final two? They could have made it somewhat interesting. I’d have preferred Beth Phoenix Vs Victoria or Natalya over this lukewarm turd. At least Victoria and Natalya have SOME wrestling ability! But no, they got jobbed out earlier in the match. Damn.
The Undertaker Vs Big Show
Casket Match
The first thing I was very happy about was the fact that they weren’t using the “Double Wide, Double Deep” casket, putting my fears ofanother rehash of the end of the ‘98 Royal Rumble to rest. I wasn’t sure if the Big Show was going to fit into the casket though, and actually he didn’t. Because that bastard “destroyed” the casket by flipping it over. Nobody really checked to see if it was broken, as long as it still closes, it’s still a perfectly working casket… Or if all else fails, ‘Taker could just sit on the lid to keep it shut.
The finish of the match still confuses me though, the Undertaker whipped Show into the casket, which fell over and closed of it’s own accord. That shouldn’t constitute a victory for the Undertaker as he didn’t actually close the lid. Going back into the match, the Big Show and some random Smackdown referee (I think it was Charles Robinson (AKA Naitch Jr.)) were arguing over the fact that Big Show wouldn’t close the casket. Charles responded by saying “If you don’t close the casket, you don’t win!”. Undertaker didn’t close the casket… Undertaker didn’t win.
Team Randy Orton Vs Team Batista
Traditional Survivor Series Match
Oh ****, piss break time for Matt Denton… I missed a chunk of this match, and even vaguely remember the finish. Maybe I blocked most of it out because I hate Batista, William Regal was eliminated as I left the room and there was no Santino Marella. Nice finish though. Big Dave ****ed up whilst trying to Batista Bomb Cody, stumbled too far over to the opposing teams corner. Orton got the blind tag, Batista nailed the move and pinned Cody, but because Orton blind tagged himnself in, Cody couldn’t be pinned… Batista stupidly argued with the referee which allowed the Legend Killer to sneak up behind Batista, and nail him with the RKO! Sweet.
Vladimir Kozlov Vs Triple H (C)
WWE Championship
I think I’m the only man on this Earth who found this match entertaining, before Edge and Jeff Hardy got involved. Although, I do think HHH did get a tad too much offense in on Vladimir. I don’t see why the fans were expecting a fast match, because it was all about Vladimir getting a challenge. He was never billed as a fast wrestling competitor. He takes his time, wears down his opponents and then delivers the Headbutt for the win. As soon as Vladimir hit the Headbutt this time around, Vickie Guerrero (Minus the wheelchair) rushes out and yells “HE’S HERE!! HE’S HERE!!” and I leaped from my seat in anticipation knowing what was about to happen, and then BAM~! Metallingus blasts through the sound system and I rejoice, as Edge (With added awesome beard goodness) walks out, gets into the ring and spears the **** out of HHH! A mere few minutes later plus a Jeff Hardy appearance, Edge pins HHH for the WWE Championship and all is right on Planet Smackdown, once again!*
(*Apart from the fact Ryder & Hawkins aren’t Tag Team Champions)
John Cena Vs Chris Jericho (C)
World Heavyweight Championship
I was preparing to switch the show off at this point, knowing that Cena was going to become World Champion, but my markdom for Chris Jericho prevented me from doing so. Actually, one of the main reasons that I knew that Cena was going to win is because I don’t recall Chris Jericho ever beating Cena in a one on one match. (Plus I read the dirt sheets a few days ago.)
The match wasn’t too bad, apart from the usual Cena moves. At several points I was ready to cheer a Jericho victory, but then Cena didn’t stay down, and evenutally won. I still don’t know why Cena was given the opportunity THIS early, as opposed to having him win the title at Armageddon or Royal Rumble. I still wish that Jericho was World Champion, he never gets an extended reign. Oh well, maybe next year.