What's up all you stars and studs???

My blogs are called love notes because it is all about things I love ... So today we will talk about love. Can love come too early or too late? Can the perfect people meet at the wrong time? Do we have soul mates and do we have to marry our soul mates in order to feel complete? So I am asking for everyone that reads this to answer this question. Do we have soul mates? Put your answers in the comments please ...

People have a natural growing process and I believe that we date people sometimes just so they can teach us a certain lesson. Then they move along to their next place in someone else's life. We fall in and out of love so many times for different reasons. First, she or he is cute. Then, they make us laugh. She or he has a good job. We need a place to live. She or he is a good person, a saint, dangerous, sexy, inspire us, treat us like a prince/princess, treat us like gum on the bottom of their shoe and on and on ...

I hate love. I have that decided today because it is the only thing that makes me feel weak. I will love love again tomorrow. Today I have questions though ...Why can't we just love the one that loves us? Why can't we just trust?

What happen to good old fashion writing in a letter and courtship? Sometimes I wish I grew up in the 1700s to the early 1900s with arranged marriages, corsets, gentlemen, and love poems. It seems so much more glamorous and sexy and easy. Love and marriage meant something. Women were treated like ladies. Women took care of their men and men took care of the women. I am all about women's rights, but did we mess up the respect there once was for being the lady of the house?

I ask because upon reading books such as Little Women, Pride and Prejudice and seeing  Atonement, Deadwood, and numerous others I can't help but be jealous. I know those are movies and books, but I also have a book that is full of love letters from the civil war and they make me feel love. At that time period there is a mystique to the love story. It is so much more than your average I LOVE YOU. What does that mean? Does it mean, that I can't wait to feel the warmth of your skin when it presses against mine, melting my frozen soul because I missed you? Or, my heart stops aching when I look in your eyes because it has forgotten to beat while I am only mesmerized by your seas of green that flow directly into me? How about, I have nothing to say when I see you because my mind gets so filled up with emotions that I can only remember the word hi ... ha ha... I want a fairytale.            

Maybe that is too much to ask. I want that story that crosses countries and outlasts the tests of time. I want to be sitting across an older couple that has been together for years and years and you to turn to me and say, "I love you like they love each other." Maybe people still can have that type of love, but nowadays we just keep repeating the cycle love and lose. It is very interesting that I have nightmares about someone that is no longer mine and I still wake up crying and lost. I don't know how to let go. Maybe people never do. Maybe people are all starved for attention so much that even bad attention is good attention. We hang on to our lost love like trophies for what we have all been through. We want that great story, that bleeding heart, which makes us feel alive. My lost love trophy is punching my already beat up heart. Hahaha ... don't get me wrong though I am happy and free with a man that loves me. I just want answers for these things that still bother me.

One thing is for certain is that experiences help define us. We are the canvas of the thoughts and emotions that run through us. We become a masterpiece of wrinkles and laugh lines. We choose our paths everyday. We meet the fork in the road every morning and we use our instincts to lead us. For better or worse we are the owners of our destiny. Let your heart lead and your brain will follow. At least I hope so. ;)

SmackDown is getting more and more comfortable every week. I am finding new friends and building new relationships. I am challenged every week by amazing opponents. I hope that the fight in my heart shows as I try to get better. I was asked this week in a radio interview why I didn't ever sign with a talent agency. My answer was well, now I don't need one WWE is my home. But before WWE I was told I was too short and fat and I decided I didn't want an agency. No one should ever insult you and I don't want people like that around me.

Sometimes when I am feeling blue, not SmackDown blue, I think of that and smile knowing I’ve gotten to where my dreams lead me, not an agent. That fight is still in me. Divas Championship in my sights. I will fight until I get there. Whatever it takes, my dreams will take me there.

SmackDown Blue and Still True,
Spanks and Kisses,
Maria

Passion is my Motivation!!!!!

I AM ROCKING OUT WHILE WRITING THIS BLOG:
My life to live, Lars
I still miss you, Keith Anderson
Wake Up, Tim Armstrong
Fire, Augustana
So far, Buckcherry
Shattered, O.A.R.
Just to name a few.......

Gem says ARF ARF!!!!!

What's up all you stars and studs!!!!!!

It is so nice to speak with you all once again. It has been a crazy busy year, and I have loved every moment of it! WrestleMania, to a kiss with Snoop, to top 100, to Santino and I, (What was I thinking?) Project Runway (purrrrrrrr kitty), Sunset Tan, SummerSlam poster, (Did you see me blow ... mmmmm ... that boat up?) my first runway show, (It's called fashion for a reason ... not everyone is supposed to like it or understand it ... hahahaha...) and now I moved to SmackDown! AAHHHHHHH!!!! It still isn't over. It is never over ...

Moving to SmackDown ... Did it come as a shock is the question I have been getting. Yes, very very much. I am sad in some ways and happy in others. I am happy and excited about this new adventure I am beginning. It is a new bright and shiny begining. It is like the first day at a new school and I am still trying to figure out who to sit with. I am sad because I am leaving some very important people that have been in my life for four years and without them I could not have gotten to where I am now. I want to send a big SPANK YOU to all the Divas on Raw, whether kicking my butt or trying to help me get my butt in shape in the ring, I thank you!! Red team, sorry girls I am turning “blue.”

I am sooooo excited about helping charities! It makes me feel like I am giving back because I have been given so much. It makes me feel alive!! Paws for Style was so much fun ... Gemini (my Chihuahua, or hua hua as I like to call him), was so cute!! The outfit was fun to make, and since I wanted it to be a little crazy and wild I think it did the job. Haha ... Gem even had a hoodie. He flirted with all of the ‘lil girl doggies. Ow Ow!! If you would like to buy Gem's and my outfit go to eBay!!!!

As for the new Divas Championship … Congratulations to Michelle!!!!! Yay!! That title is beautiful! And Michelle deserved it. Congrats!!

What is next?? I am only looking to the future! Hard work and more hard work! My Favorite quote is, "My own personal strength scares the sh### out of me!!" I have had my butt kicked from here to Phoniexville and I am still not scared. I still step into that ring. I still desire to be champion!! I still want gold around my waist — and not as just a fashion statement. But as a statement that “Even though I might not be the best and have been beaten, I never give up!" I have so many dreams, from wrestling to music, movies and fashion to one day a family. No one should ever fear going after what they believe in, and you should always follow your passions! Do not, I repeat, DO NOT under any circumstances change for anyone but yourself!!

Finally, I want to talk about the most important people in my life: My family. My ‘lil bro is having a baby!!!! Billy and Kelly CONGRATS!! Life is the greatest gift! And to the rest of my family thank you for always being by my side. I miss you and love you!

As always, Passion is my motivation!!

Spanks and Kisses!!!!,
Maria and Gem (ARF!!)

P.S.:  tut.....

Editor's Note: This is Maria's first "Love Notes" column on WWE Fan Nation. For her past columns, visit the Love Notes archive in Maria's Superstar page on WWE.com.