[If you do not want to read this enormous wall of text, simply scroll to the bottom for the winner predictions]

So, anybody gonna be watching this PPV?!

I know I won't be, as the only PPV I order is Wrestlemania, but I will be tuning in for some live updates. What can I say? I'm impatient. =]

In any case, this is a fairly tricky PPV to predict, in my opinion. I suppose that's always the case, however - having to wrestle (no pun intended) between who you want to win and who, realistically, is likely to win.

It's not really that WWE has had some great, outstanding rivalries lately - they haven't. It's morealess the fact that with their storylines as of late, either person, heel or face, could win and it wouldn't really be a big surprise.

So with that said, let's roll on with the predictions...

Kane vs Rey Mysterio / Singles match, Stipulation ... Honestly, if you look past the fact that this isn't really the greatest rivalry to begin with, you must admit that WWE has done a pretty good job going about the way it's been handled; it's been a teeter-totter rivalry the whole way. Don't get me wrong, this is a very good thing, in that it keeps from being ridiculously predictable (much like the "Unsanctioned Match" between HBK and Jericho) and actually keeps you guessing.

Mysterio has been unmasked before - everybody knows that. We may not be supposed to know it, but we know it. So that in itself leaves the door open that Mysterio may lose. However, if Rey does lose tonight, WWE would be taking a big risk (one that may pay off, mind you), being's Mysterio's entire character is based around the "Mexican Wrestler" persona (the actual terminology escapes me at the moment), and bam. Children cry. Rey is disgraced. Everybody is shocked.

This could almost work in that after tonight, Rey could go on a "you've forced me to disgrace myself, my fans, and I've let everyone down" line that may kick this rivalry up a notch and give it the attention it deserves. Mysterio to win.

Batista vs JBL / Number 1 Contendership Match ... I like Batista. What can I say? He's energetic, puts on a good show, and looks like the has fun in the process. Know who I don't like? JBL. I guess that's what a heel character is for, but I mean beyond a wrestling standpoint, he just seems like the kinda guy you wouldn't want to meet at a show. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe he's just really good at being a villian. Maybe he's the nicest guy on Wall Street. Great! Keep him there, and off my TV.

Let's face it - JBL's boring. He's pathetic on the mic, and he's moderately talented at best. WWE should just stick 'em on the mid-card where he belongs: being a mid-card performer with mid-card matches. He's just bland and boring to watch, which is why I'm personally hoping Big Dave picks up the victory here tonight. I mean come on - they've both been on the sidelines for quite some time as far as a championship is concerned, but there's just one difference: when JBL's in a match, you KNOW he's going to lose, and you spend the match waiting for it to end. When Batista's in a match, you enjoy it, you enjoy the twists, turns, and athleticism. He puts on a good show, and that's why I'm hoping Batista will pick up the victory tonight.

Beth Phoenix (c) vs Candice Michelle / Women's Championship Match ... Hmm... See what I mean about either person could come out victorious and it would be good business either way? Beth could very easily retain tonight, and I don't think anyone would shed a tear - it would give Beth a great rivalry for the next month or so, and could make for some very interesting interaction between the two, being as they haven't had a lot of time to stoke up this match person-to-person.

On the flipside, it seems that if Candice were to win, everything would just go downhill for Beth. We musn't forget the fact she told Santino he basically screws everything up for her. We musn't forget that Santino was on the phone with "Frank" a while back. If Beth loses tonight, I have a feeling all that would explode at once, and it would mean the end of Glamorella. Or maybe that's what WWE has in mind - Santino has other plans for his future and they don't involve Beth. What better way to execute than to cause her to lose the match tonight?

This one's kinda tricky, but I'm going to go ahead and say that Beth will retain tonight. Don't quote me on that.

I don't watch much ECW, so I'll just trim it short and guess that Matt Hardy will retain tonight as well. I don't know.

Undertaker vs Big Show / Singles Match ... Finally, some easy ground to cover. Hate me, but I hoenstly think Big show will pick up the win tonight. Why? If Big Show doesn't win it, who is going to be left in Undertaker's way? Honestly, the guy doesn't seem too interested in the WWE Champsionship, but rather just executing revenge on La Familia. Edge is out. Vickie is out. Chavo has been taken care of. If Big Show is no longer a  threat, that's that. It's over. SmackDown! needs this storyline to keep the show interesting since the rumour goes that when Edge comes back, he won't be involved with 'Taker, and if they trash this storyline, they'll have to replace it, and really, there hasn't been anything that great brewing up to take its place. So as I said, expect Big Show to pick up the win. If Undertaker does win, it will be through a DQ.

Chris Jericho (c) vs Shawn Michaels / World Heavyweight Championship Match ... First off, I'm a fan of Michaels, but where does he come off saying he gets a World Heavyweight shot just out of the blue? There's probably some hidden explanation about how "oh, he's been in a feud with Jericho for so long, he just wants another match, let's make it a Championship match," but still... I think they threw that stipulation in there just to give the match some excitement and keep from the "Great, another Jericho-Michaels snooze-fest. BOOO-RING!"

In any case, though, Jericho will retain tonight. Bet money on it. Give Jericho the win, he'll brag about it for another month, look like a stronger champion, get built up a little more, and build up the rivalry between him and Batista. Next Pay-Per-View comes, Batista can just own him left and right, pick up his title, and we have a new champion. It just makes sense. Michaels doesn't seem to be at the stage in his career where he can go about throwing a title around, and hoenstly, I don't think he's too concerned about it as a person. Jericho to win.

Triple H (c) vs Jeff Hardy / WWE Championship ... I think we all know who's going to win this one. If you don't, let me give you a hint: he's married to the bosses daughter, has been champion several times before, and his name isn't Jeff Hardy.

Now first, let me just say I like Triple H. I'm a fan of the guy, and I have been ever since I started watching wrestling a little over a decade ago. His attitude, though, is getting just downright disgusting. He's at the stage where he has everything going for him and he knows it - he's the boss's son-in-law, a future hall-of-famer, he's on the writing staff... need I keep going? If he does lose his championship to Jeff, it won't be tonight.

Jeff. Oh, Jeff. Suspended twice. Just when things start going your way, you screw yourself. People thought you had a chance tonight, and you go and pull a drunk and disorderly at an airport. Didn't result in your pink slip, but it'll be a long time before you get pushed into major championship. Stop screwing yourself, man! We want to see you champion, but you can't calm your ass down long enough to keep ANY heat off of you at all! It's your fault you're in "push at your own risk" territory and never get a good shove into a real shot at... well... anything?

I've been waiting for a Jeff Hardy championship run for a long time, and if it happens tonight, I must say... I don't think I'll be happy. I mean, yeah, I'll be happy that he's champ, but even if he does win, he won't hold it long. Triple H to win this match tonight.

That's all folks. Hope you enjoyed... If you agree, leave a comment! If you don't agree, leave a comment! Just make sure you understand why I chose who I did ;-)

Happy viewing.

TL;DR VERSION / Tonight's winner predictions...

Rey Mysterio

Batista

Beth Phoenix

Matt Hardy

Big Show

Chris Jericho

Triple H