Unmasked

 

From the diary of Penelope Halwind:

 

Oct 31
Sometimes there is only a thin line between ones true self and a social mask.

 

Lady Panther:
It all started, I suppose, over the summer. One night, shortly after the 4th of July, I went to Pigeon's cafe to sell something I ...picked up. I also wanted to share the interesting run-in I had with my crush to get it. She wasn't in her office. The next night I asked her where she had been. 'At home' she said. This made me curious, of course. 'At home? Since when?' Then it hit me. 'You were with Stanley, weren't you?' She got all flustered and I said 'I knew it! You say he's not your boyfriend... Did he...spend the night?' She looked up at me and scowled. I said 'Oh my God, he did!' and started laughing. I had been worried about her being too 'inside her shell', you know? She tried to stay mad, but then sighed and said 'What are you, in high school?' so I told her I had planned to take her to the spa with me, go guy-watching and such. She said 'no thanks, I'm not into that. The spa part anyway' and we both cracked up. We've been friends ever since.

 

The Question:
Do I love Penelope? I don't know...what I do know is that she is 1. Intelligent. I can't stand vapid women. 2. She's not all feminine flowery.... into pink and unicorns and all that sentimental ****. 3. She's shorter than I am. I always feel like people who look down on me physically do it mentally too. Don't get me wrong, I don't have some kind of 'big girl fetish.' For example I think about trying for Lady Panther sometimes. The woman is SO hot.... but she's Penelope's best friend...you just don't do that dude.

 

Bruce Wayne:
Yes I used to socialize with Penelope Halwind; we were part of the same social circles. However I have no comment on the tabloid stories of stolen goods being bought and sold at her cafe. If you'll excuse me...

 

Lady Panther:
Yeah, I think we're best friends. We try to have a girl's night out once a month and talk about almost anything. No, I agree she's not 'sentimental,' but she does let loose once in a while. You should have seen the time she had one 'sip of wine' too many and tried to dance....

 

The Question:
We have a lot of interests in common.... music, food, art... We respect our differences too. For example, if I want to go to the club (where she feels self-conscious) I call and ask if she wants to go.... if not she doesn't tell me not to. In fact, if she REALLY wants to spend some time with me she usually offers to cook dinner.... and she's pretty good at it!

 

Sometimes I just sit by my fireplace, sipping wine, and think about my life. Sure, it didn't start out in what most people would call 'the best' circumstances, but I'm not doing all that badly. Nightshade doesn't bother me as much as I thought he would (I think he knows I know who he is). Then there's Lady Panther. I have never had a real friend before, someone who wasn't out to screw me over. I also have Stanley...to think a guy like him, who could have any Lady Panther wannabe he wanted, would choose to spend time with me. On top of that they all keep Joker at bay. It's not like he has a personal grudge against me; he's just crazy.... Here's to you all.

A sweet, loyal, kooky girl.

An aspiring writer.

A huge fan of the WWE of course. I don't have cable, but a co-worker tapes Raw and ECW for me.

A person who loves cats, and purple.

A hopeless romantic (creeps, perverts, and "playas" need not apply)

Just Another Night

I had just about emptied the safe when Bruce Wayne himself stepped into the room. He closed the door, looked at me and frowned.

"Hey, are you (hick) stealing from me?"

He was drunk! This would be an easy get-away.

"No," I purred "you ruined the surprise. I'm part of the entertainment."

He looked me over. "Oh!"

"Wanna sneak peek?"

"Sure."

"How's about you get on all fours and bark like a dog?"

He fell on the floor and actually said 'woof, woof.' Pathetic. He probably played this game with every bimbo he was rumored to be with.

"Ok, good boy. Now sit up and beg."

He did and I grabbed his throat with my right hand (claws in) and put my left inches from his face (claws out).

"There is one thing I hate more than dogs" I hissed. "Weak willed men."

I shoved him to the side and went back to my bag of spoils. Then THAT VOICE stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Weak willed, huh?"

I spun around, ready to fight. I looked at every shadow waiting for his to eclipse Mr. Wayne. Instead I saw Bruce, very soberly, getting to his feet. My shock almost overtook my anger. Bruce "Fop" Wayne was Batman?!?!

"I should claw your eyes out for that last stunt you pulled; kissing me to handcuff me to the fence for the cops!"

He smiled. The same one he used that night.

"I'm not going to try and take you in. I just want to talk."

I snapped my whip. I had to get out of there. I jumped to the window, looked at the spoils, looked at the Bat. I looked long enough to give him the message: I'll think about it, stud.

A Hot Time In The Cold Town Tonight

 

From the diary of Penelope Halwind:

July 4th

What is it about hot weather that stirs human passion?

It was finally cooling down after a 100+ degree day. Nightshade knew he should stop her BEFORE she stole something, but he couldn't bring himself to. He was fascinated by the way she moved. Sometimes he asked himself 'what's wrong with you? You could be ANYWHERE but here.' Then he would think of his murdered parents and his resolve returned.

Lady Panther was just about to enter her favorite (because it was unguarded) entrance to the museum when she felt a familiar tingle. HE was here, somewhere. She was SO VERY curious why he seemed to pay...different...attention to her. The others he locked up in Arkham, even birdies new boyfriend. Oh, excuse me, birdie insisted he wasn't her boyfriend. Birdie needed a lesson in good old-fashioned female self-esteem. Lady Panther made a mental note to invite her along the next time she went to the spa.

Nightshade saw her hesitate before entering the museum. She knew he was here. Great! Just what he needed, losing the element of surprise again. He made his way to where he could see the exhibit he thought she would hit.

Lady Panther loved cats, of all kinds. So when she heard about some rare Egyptian finds being loaned to Gotham's most famous museum, she had to have SOMETHING from the collection. It was a trifle cliche, but she figured there would be some cat-and-mouse in it for her too.

Nightshade watched her looking at the exhibit like a normal visitor. Then something in the alley caught his attention: Joker and his followers were getting out of a car.

Joker walked a few paces from the car and looked at the museum, sighing. It was a beautiful night for a break-in. He watched his goons start picking the security system and wondered where the girl went. Looking back at the car she was staring at him as if to say 'aren't you going to open this door for me?' He yelled for her to get out of the damn car and she scurried over with a squeaky 'yes boss.'

Nightshade made his way right up to Lady Panther, no longer trying to hide. "We have to get out of here."

Lady Panther was a little startled by his abrupt approach. "What's the hurry, handsome?" She walked up to him and touched his face. Looking into his eyes she leaned closer, but before she could kiss him a security guard yelled 'freeze!' and a shot rang out. The guard fell over dead and Joker stepped into the doorway, laughing.

"What do we have here?" The girl answered 'aw, puddin' they look like they're in love, just like us.' He rolled his eyes. "Just start shooting!"

Lady Panther saw Nightshade duck out of the way (as she was doing the same) and watched him make his way behind Joker and his crew. She continued on her way out of the museum watching Nightshade as he took Joker by surprise and knocked the clown girl out. She smiled when he noticed she was still watching. "I knew you could take care of yourself. Sweet dreams!"

The next night was warmer when Lady Panther made her way to Pigeon's cafe. Something wasn't right though. There was no light in the office window. She could just let herself in, but instead climbed up to look in the window. No Pigeon. Where was she?

I had company tonight. Stanley had been out of Arkham for about a week and we decided to meet at my penthouse for dinner. I had thought about him a lot while he was gone and it encouraged me to start losing some of my girth. I made trout (I love seafood) and was washing up the dishes. I turned around to find Stanley leaning against my counter, looking at his feet. I finished drying my hands and looked at him as if to say 'well? Did you have something to say?' He felt my gaze and raised his eyes. There was something different in that look that actually made me shiver.

"I was wondering...if I could stay over tonight."

If he had said that to me back around Valentine's I would have went off on him, accusing him of mocking me. Not that I am all THAT sentimental, but a girl has to have SOME pride. I found myself smirking.

"Stay over?"

"Yeah."

"How do I know, if I were to let you stay, that it will be appreciated?"

"I guess you'll just have to trust me."

 

Hope Springs Eternal

 

From the diary of Penelope Halwind:

 

Easter

 

Hope springs eternal in the human breast;
Man never Is, but always To Be blest:
The soul, uneasy and confin'd from home,
Rests and expatiates in a life to come.

-Alexander Pope,
An Essay on Man, Epistle I, 1733

 

A couple of days after Joker ransacked my office, Stanley came by at closing time.

 

"Here. This is for you."

 

He handed me a tube, like you ship posters in. I walked with him to my office, which still had graffiti on the walls. He looked around and scowled. "What happened?"

 

"An overambitious client."

 

He looked at me like he couldn't believe I was so calm about it. "Ok. One more reason to put your present up at home."

 

I opened up the tube. It was a print of Impression: Sunrise! Bigger than the one I used to have. "Thank you. I don't know what to say."

 

"Your welcome" he replied with a bow. I smiled.

 

Nightshade looked through his binoculars. Lady Panther was on the roof across the street, where she had just robbed an apartment. She stopped and looked around, he ducked behind a chimney. He wasn't ready to confront her yet. Would he ever truly be ready? She took his breath away, but she was a criminal and needed to be dealt with as such.

 

From the moment she laid eyes on Joker Harleen Quinzelle was in love. Now here she was, The Harlequin, helping him 'withdraw' some money from the 1st National Bank. She suckerpunched the guard and set the explosives to blow open the safe. Joker had even said "Good Job, Harl."

 

Lady Panther had seen him. He was trying to hide and stay alert, but it wasn't working. He had to settle for acting menacing. She wasn't buying. He even gave her a chance to give back what she stole (like THAT was gonna work). She KNEW that he knew it was hopeless. Then they both heard the explosion. He left without a second thought.

 

The Harlequin was running as fast as she could, but was lagging behind. She couldn't hear well after being too close to the explosion. When she got to the get-away car it was already rolling. Was Joker thinking of leaving her behind? No, he was just getting the heck outta there and she should've kept up.

 

The next night Lady Panther went to Pigeon's Place with the jewelry she stole. She was concerned to learn that Joker had caused Pigeon more grief (She needed a convenient place to fence her 'prey'...AND she kinda liked birdie).

 

After I had dealt with Madam Cat, I sat down at my desk and thought about my new Monet print in my penthouse. I smiled as I thought about asking Stanley over to see it. I was about to get up and leave when Joker busted through my door. All of my happiness vanished. I stood, fists on my desk, totally and completely outraged.

 

"WHAT IN THE HE...."

 

"You shouldn't oughta talk ta Mista J that way."

 

"You tell 'er Harl. HAHAHA. You're the one who's supposed to be all 'civilized', isn't that right Pidgey?"

 

The dumb blond (I was assuming) had a gun drawn. Joker was giving me one of his sick smiles. And me without my 'boys'. I took TWO very deep breaths, figuring that MAYBE he actually wanted to do business. I sat down. "Do you have something you wish me to sell?"

 

"No. I just had so much fun 'playing' at your house (he gestured around my office) that I thought I'd come again."

 

"Yeah, maybe ya got new 'toys' since last time."

 

Joker grabbed her by her pointed hat. "I'm talking. You stay quiet. Got it?" She squeaked a yes and repointed the gun at me.

 

I realized I needed to put my foot down, without being murdered, or I would never have another day of peace. "You realize I can't stay in business if you keep ruining my location. Then where will you fence your stolen goods? You know I get the best prices..."

 

He leaned over my desk. "Right now, I. Don't. Care."

 

"WE do." Lady Panther and The Question let themselves in through my open window. "You keep this up and Nightshade will have us all for sure." My office door then opened to reveal some of my dearest (meaning most intimidating) 'boys.' With guns. Joker scowled.

 

"Come on Harl. These guys are no fun."

 

Hopefully Joker won't bother me, at least for a while. When I got home I looked at my Monet print over my mantle and smiled. On the mantle was a nightshade bloom.