What's Next?

From the diary of Penelope Halwind:

Dec 31

I am now certain I know who Nightshade is, but if I'm wrong I'll be the laughingstock of Gotham...

I once again looked at the dried nightshade bloom. It was the day after Christmas and I was expecting at least Lady Panther to bring in a good deal of business.

A knock at my office door brought me face to face with the insane clown who calls himself Joker. Usually he brought in really rare objects (or really fake) because he had what he called "grand schemes" for crimes. He actually made me uncomfortable, which is hard to do. I tried to stay professional.

"Good evening, Joker."

I got one of his sick, twisted smiles. It wasn't just because his smile stretched ear to ear and his face head to toe; not aesthetic in the least. He pushed past me. My henchmen jumped, I waved them aside.

"I have a late Christmas present for ya, Pidgey HAHAHAHAHA!"

I scowled a bit. I still hate the rude bas.... cretin. He dropped the biggest canary diamond I had ever seen on my desk.

"I even remembered your fondness for little birdies HAHA.... It's a canary diamond, get it?" He smiled again; it never reached his eyes.

"Make yourself at home."

He made a big show of snooping around my entire office. He scowled at my Monet art print. He proceeded to sit Indian style on the floor.

"This...is real" I managed to say, impressed. "What are you looking for in return?"

"One BILLION."

I shook my head. "One million, maybe..."

He jumped up and slammed his fists into my desk. "Listen you little nobody. Christmas is over and I'm not in a generous mood. Do you see this?" He pulled the remains of a nightshade out of his pocket. "I just spent two months in the loony bin thanks to this.... whatever he thinks he is! He caught me off guard with some interesting 'toys' and made a fool of me."

Not hard to do I thought, but didn't speak. My henchmen had their guns aimed at him. He put on a 'little boy' expression.

"I just want some 'toys' too." The scowl returned. "ANYthing to get him out of my business for good."

"I may have someone willing to pay a million-five, but..."

"But nothing!" he shouted and jumped over my desk. He managed to get behind me and get a knife to my throat.

"Well now. If we can open our safe collection maybe I'll let the 'boss laaaaaaaady' live."

I was about to give out the combination to the first safe, cursing Nightshade, when said vigilante crashed into my office through the window right into Joker. I got under the desk and listened to a war of shouts and gunfire; Joker must have brought henchmen too. When the noise died, I crawled out. The office was destroyed. My beautiful mahogany desk had bulletholes, plural. My art print looked like swiss cheese as well. This caused me to almost, ALMOST, break out in tears.

"Are you okay?"

I jumped at the sound. "YOU!" I rushed at him, all of my pent up frustration coming out at one moment. He was stronger than he looked and I wasn't exactly clear-headed. What's wrong with me? I thought as I stopped struggling. He seemed to be thinking along the same lines as he pushed me an arms length away. "What do you want? Why are you doing this?"

"I have my reasons..."

I stopped and took a look at him. No really distinguishing features, they were all covered by the costume. Even his eyes seemed vailed. He was hiding his true self...I watched him carry the battered but not dead body of Joker over to the door. Regaining some of my courage, I glanced around and noticed the jewel. I looked up to see that he had noticed it too. Then he looked at me as if to say "do you really want to deal with that particular piece?" Maybe I was imagining things. I walked over, picked it up, looked at it, and placed it in his hand. Then I scowled so he wouldn't think I liked being out a million-five.

He nodded his head in farewell and I thought to myself how much he reminded me of the "gold plated bachelor".... I must have needed some tea for my nerves.