Short and Snappy Tales of Greatness

By Katie Lea

Well Tiff Tiff you finally did it this time.  You really did a number on yourself.  Bravo.  Have I told you lately that you are an airhead..?  No offence but you just made an enemy of someone who would be extremely dangerous to you even as your best friend:  My brother Paul.  You have been fooled because so far he has kept his cool.  Played the nice guy.  Been a team playa (pun intended...  Teddy!).  But things are about to break down and get very, very ugly.  Tiffany, when you so arrogantly dismissed Paul on ECW last week... you un-wittingly (that means you have no wit!  Haha!) created a big problem for yourself.  You don't know it yet but you just unleashed...  the Ripper.  And as you will see, your stupidity will have its price...

On to the greatly heralded 'return of the Peep Show'...  Ok, I'm all for talk shows but this was nothing but a pathetic display of misguided enthusiasm.  Christian, let me give you some good advice here.  When you have a guest on your talk show you are supposed to ask him questions.  Of an informative, perhaps controversial nature; have some fun chat, resolve some issues.  But nooo, not you!  All you could think to do was to humiliate the man you yourself cheated out of the ECW Heavyweight Championship!  Now aside from the fact that humiliating someone in front of millions of people (no we're not all your 'peeps') watching on TV is simply not nice.  It was also futile, useless, moot!  Because... turns out that contrary to popular opinion a lisp is a not unattractive feature in a man.  And lisp or no the sad thing is, Christian... there is one thing that Jack has that you could not in you wildest dreams ever hope to imitate or aspire to:  tha Swagger!                                                                                          

And last but certainly not least...  let's find time to quickly mention...  Dolph Ziggler and his well-deserved (and formidably executed, may I add) win against Silly Wang Yang.  Now everybody knows I luuurve Cowboys, lurve 'em, can't get enough...  But...  not this one.  Sorry, but he is just too silly.  Luckily Dolph told him where to...  line-dance!    And of course the Great Khali had to ruin it all by strutting down the ramp like a bee-stung hippo, interrupting the celebration in very un-gentlemanly fashion...   Now whereas I understand he is a little bitter about the chair incident the previous week, he needs to understand that all's fair...  in love, war and preserving the physical health of the one...  the only...  the beautiful...  Dolph Ziggler. 

That's it for today guys... and all there is left to say is:  Woo woo woo!

KL