Short and Snappy Tales of Greatness

By Katie Lea

Well, well, well aren't we glad Christmas is over....   Weeks of prolonged unbearable jolly-ness followed by three whole days of forced smiles and more amped-up jolly-ness...  Pathetic.  In the plus column though, I did get some pretty good gifts including but not limited to:

• A life-sized JBL action figure.
• A case of Mamajuana.
• A DVD of Goldust reading the entire Dr Seuss collection back to back...

So I guess now it's time to move on to New Years Resolutions...  Traditionally this is a time for those strange little creatures called human beings to reflect on their flaws and make a list of areas to improve themselves on...  Seeing as I am not only unquestionably perfect but go above and beyond to charm and fascinate, I traditionally skip this step; but I have set aside some goals for 2009 which are:

• Work for JBL.  Surely a blind man can see that having mouse-faced grumpy-man Shawn Michaels in JBL's corner is eventually going do him more harm than good.  I predict that the 'Kid' (..?) will snap one day turning things pretty ugly for everyone involved...  I would think (and I'm good at thinking), that it would be a far better option for JBL to have a virile and beautiful young woman by his side, willing to do absolutely anything he asks of her... Needless to say, I have sent in my application.
• Go on a date with Dolph Ziggler (and find out whether all those rumors about him are true...).
• Beat up Little Miss Saturday Night Fever.  She wants to be known as The Foxy One but in reality she is barely comparable to a Dancing Daisy...  For although she is as unnecessary as the well-known battery-operated back-up gift, she does not have the charm. 

So as you can see I am determined to make the New Year an inherently successful one.  And speaking of which, I do know that the question on everyone's lips is...  How do I feel about getting involved in ECW..?  Well, naturally I am EXTREMEly excited.   Hahahaha, what a joke, a hilarious joke!  Seriously though.  I am.  Ready to unleash my demon, to finally let him roam free and spread his wings causing chaos and destruction everywhere.  Or should that be decadence and disorder..?  Either way, this is going to be fun... 

And so in that spirit...  Bring on 2009!!

Enjoy.  Katie Lea.