No Way Out is in the books, you know “the books,” and “My Tazz,” MyNetworkTV’s biggest star, and I are back from the Pacific Northwest after a couple of days in Seattle and two days in Portland. It was an interesting road trip to say the least, and I usually don’t … say the least that is.
In case you haven’t heard, Edge, who still works for his wife on Friday Night SmackDown, is the new World Heavyweight Champion much to the chagrin of the ubiquitous John Cena and the Raw Universe. WWE HOF’er Bobby “The Brain” Heenan has been called “Weasel” in the past, but I’m sure “The Brain” would be willing to loan Edge the “Weasel” moniker as that is how the Ontario native became an eight-timer, by weaseling his way into the World Title Elimination Chamber Match at N.W.O. after eliminating Kofi Kingston. I would like to think that if something like that happened in the SmackDown Elimination Chamber Match that a SmackDown Superstar would have not allowed such a travesty. My how things have changed on WWE’s beloved “A” broadcast, or so it would appear.
I wonder what the over/under is for Edge holding the World Title past WM25? Let’s give that some thought over the next few weeks.
Notwithstanding the fact that Jeff Hardy pinned Edge in less than 5 minutes last Sunday in Portland, one might assume, and we all know what happens when one assumes, that Edge might not want to get to comfy sleeping with the massive title that still reminds me of when WWE HOF’er Ric Flair wore that particular gold championship.
Friday Night SmackDown has a scent of “Diva Mania” this week when Maria and Eve Torres, in only her second bout, face reigning Divas Champion Maryse and the first Divas Champion Michelle McCool. These M&M’s won’t melt in one’s mouth or one’s hand and will give the inexperienced duo of Maria and Eve all they can handle. The underlying story regarding the Divas Title and how badly McCool wants it back is something to keep one’s eye on as well as if there wasn’t enough already for any red-blooded, male to keep an eye on already in this tag bout.
BTW Maryse is the “World’s Angriest Announcer’s” favorite Diva or so I strongly suspect. I think the former “Human Suplex Machine” should sell Maryse posters in the old, Farrah Fawcett mold (so I dated myself, so what, ask your Dad as he will know) to raise funds for the mighty, Long Island Junior Ducks who will field one of the great, young baseball teams in the entire northeast this season. I know my pal Stocky Balboa has people who can get Tazz a “brother-in-law” deal on such tasteful imagery.
MVP has a banner night this Friday on MyNetworkTV as the “Baller” is on the hunt for the United States Title currently held by the best all-around athlete in WWE, Shelton Benjamin. MVP is definitely getting back to his old self by again, but the jury is still out as to whether or not MVP can beat Benjamin in a straight up, one-on-one title bout. MVP has true Junkyard Dog-like charisma from bell-to-bell which isn’t a bad thing when one is compared to a WWE Hall of Famer. This is not to be confused with the fact that R-Truth possesses a JYD-like smile as I have mentioned before on TV, in case you are keeping score at home. This is what is known in the biz as a “Finkel Fact.”
I am pleased to see that there are several top competitors who have their sights set on the U.S. Title. This is a prestigious championship with some of the game’s biggest names holding United States gold over the years including the very first champ, WWE Hall of Famer Harley Race, one of the toughest and most talented grapplers of any generation.
This Friday night you will see one of the most unique interviews yours truly has ever conducted. I sit down to speak with Triple H about Randy Orton’s atrocious actions of Monday night that saw Orton not only attempt to put Shane McMahon back in the hospital but saw Orton actually RKO “The Game’s” wife Stephanie McMahon. This compelling and intense interview has very little to do with wrestling, but is deeply personal as you will clearly see even if you did not hear a word said. Orton’s actions Monday night were an embarrassment to the business.
Orton should be held accountable for his actions but knowing Randal, he will likely put the blame elsewhere, perhaps on his “cousin.”
Scotty Goldman, a budding star here on WWE.com (You’re welcome, Dr. Styles), will have plenty to talk about after he faces Umaga this week on SmackDown. Umaga looks to have dropped some pounds and is looking quicker nowadays, but just as powerful as ever. In my view, Umaga belongs in the elite super heavyweight category with Andre the Giant, Yokozuna, and Big Van Vader all of whom were athletic and agile for such huge men.
Even though JBL and HBK went into business for themselves last Monday on Raw inasmuch as each wants the opportunity to end the Undertaker’s winning streak of 16-0 at WrestleMania, I do applaud SmackDown G.M. Vickie “I wear the pants in the family” Guerrero for adding SD’s undefeated Russian Vladimir Kozlov to the mix.
As sure as I love my Oklahoma Sooners, I don’t think Undertaker will ever lose at WrestleMania no matter who the “Demon of Death Valley” faces. “The Streak” (nice T-shirt idea for the 25th Anniversary or WrestleMania) lives!
The main event for Friday night sees Edge face Jeff Hardy in a stem-winder of a match. Listen closely to Jeff’s reception from the fans in Portland as it was like a bona fide rock star and perhaps something like when Freebird Michael P.S.” Hayes sings Lynyrd Skynyrd’s timeless anthem, “Freebird” at weddings and bar mitzvahs, but only much louder.
In case you have the chance to rent a red Hummer from a nationally known rental car agency any where in the Seattle/Portland area, please be very careful. Tazz and I stopped at a little spot for lunch on Monday between Seattle and Portland called the 49’er Café and we both had large bowls of homemade, bean soup. Then, unfortunately, we essentially re-enacted the camp fire scene from Mel Brooks’ classic film "Blazing Saddles" for the next several hours. That vehicle will never be the same, and I even had to burn the clothes I was wearing.
Unfortunately it is not a week to celebrate for Triple H, but congratulations nonetheless for becoming the winningest WWE Champion in history with his victory Sunday night inside the Elimination Chamber. Triple H and Undertaker had some of the most exciting exchanges I can remember seeing in a long, long time in Seattle when they were the final two left in the Chamber. Old school wrestling is alive and well when it comes to two veterans like “The Game” and “The Deadman” and long time wrestling fans are better off for it.
Many WWE Superstars are already speculating and fixating on who will be going where at WWE’s Annual Draft to be held in a city where I used to reside, Atlanta, on Monday, April 13. I think some individuals are extremely nervous about their potential new address. Last year, I wrote a scathing blog on www.jrsbarbq.com after I was surprisingly moved to SmackDown after many, many moons on Monday Night Raw. That will not happen again as I am ready for anything come April 13. However, if I were to write such a professional obituary I am sure that someone would make WWE suits aware so I could take another trip to the woodshed which has become somewhat of a time share for me.
My latest brainstorm is to suggest that former Tough Enough contestant and current WWE broadcaster Josh Mathews team with Matt “I love obscure references” Striker to handle the WGN program “WWE Superstars” or whatever it may be titled come April.
If you ever travel to Seattle or just happen to live in the area, check out 13 Coins Restaurant near the Sea-Tac Airport which is open 24/7. The “World’s Angriest Announcer” and I dined there after stealing the show from an announcing perspective, hey … that’s my wife told me, at No Way Out and the food was so good that Tazz even momentarily cracked a smile and that was before I offered to pick up the check.
We have some awesome new offers in our on-line store just made available this week at www.jrsbarbq.com and I will update our blogs there several times over the next few days. I plan on speaking more about the announcement of Dory and Terry Funk being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame and joining fellow Texan “Stone Cold” Steve Austin on Saturday night, April 4. Dusty Rhodes will induct the Funks even though Terry swears that “The Dream” can’t read … if you will.
Thanks for checking us out this week, and we appreciate the fact that you have made us one of the most-read destinations on WWE.com.
Boomer Sooner!
J.R.
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You spoke the truth about the way Randy Orton embarrassed the company the way he RKO'd Stephanie McMahon and Triple H has the right to be mad he was there for Shane not to be there cowering over his wife while she is knocked out cold. And I hope that Stephanie's doing better than what she was on Monday
Undertaker's #1 fan07:07 PM EST