Why am I still full from Thanksgiving? Probably because I feel like I have been eating TURKEY FOR A WEEK!!

Man, I’m glad I got that off my chest. Now on with the show …

If you miss Friday Night SmackDown this week, you will be punished by having to “Out-Think the Fink” in your own living room, followed by a sleepover with the future WWE HOF’er and then a trip to the sauna together.

Is this week’s Friday Night SmackDown big? Oh, hell yeah!

Undertaker vs. Big Show inside the dreaded, steel cage is the main event and what a match you’re going to see. I thought this was one of the best matches between these two, rather large gentlemen that I have ever seen them have and it was more intense, in my humble opinion, than their Casket Match at Survivor Series.

Remember, if you are quizzed, Undertaker’s submission maneuver is now called, officially, “Hell’s Gate.”

Many of WWE’s finest are entertaining our troops this week in Iraq or thereabouts and should be commended for their dedication and their efforts. The annual “Tribute to the Troops” broadcast will air on NBC Saturday night Dec. 20 at 9/8 CT.

The late, great Bob Hope (you youngsters can ask your parents who Bob Hope is) would be proud.

Dr. Joe E. Styles, who is with the WWE traveling party and will no doubt keep us all updated on his experiences abroad on the Tribute to the Troops trip on WWE.com, wanted to travel in uniform but his Boy Scout “uni” from Stamford elementary missed fitting by “this much.”

WWE Champion Edge wrestles for the first time on Friday Night SmackDown in a good while this week. Is it just me or are Edge’s eyes channeling the late actor/comedian Marty Feldman these days? “Wild-Eyed and Crazy” might be a valid suggestion for a country tune about SmackDown G.M. Vickie Guerrero’s other half.

What’s the over/under on how long the Edge/Vickie relationship lasts … this time? Not that I am wishing them any back luck … I’m just saying.

I’m actually happy Edge is back on Friday night’s as he is as unpredictable and talented as anyone in WWE.

Speaking of “I’m just saying” Hurricane Helms returns to the proverbial squared circle this Friday night sporting a brand new, huge tattoo on his back and from what I could tell it did not say “Gregory.” Perhaps you can figure it out.

Divas Champ Michelle McCool seems to be a little stressed these days. Ms. McCool wrestles Maria Friday night on SmackDown, which is akin to mixing oil and water as opposed to the oil and vinegar salad dressing my broadcast partner “The World’s Angriest Announcer” eats on his salads.

FTW Tazz is a very healthy eater and can still Suplex most mortal men out of their shoes and socks.

There is some very compelling interaction Friday night between Triple H and Jeff Hardy who will oppose each other when they face Edge for the WWE Title at Armageddon in Buffalo, N.Y., on Sunday Dec. 14 in a Triple Threat Match.

ECW Champion Matt Hardy makes yet another appearance on Friday Night SmackDown this week after doing his younger brother Jeff “a solid” last week when Matt outlasted the clock and extended undefeated Vladimir Kozlov past the magic number of 12:13 to eliminate Kozlov from WWE Title consideration at Armageddon.

“Sources say” or my favorite, “they say,” comrade Kozlov isn’t in the holiday spirit as a result of last week.

Are you in the holiday mood yet? Lots of folks are and are scarping up our cap/shirt combo offer and our personalized, autographed cookbooks that include FREE SHIPPING in the states at www.jrsbarbq.com. We are also selling lots of our sauces and rubs as we have plenty of gift selections for under $20 and several under $10.

So, as ECW G.M., the esteemed Theodore Long might say, “Get to steppin’.” Please and thank you.

Word on the street has it that the breath mints that The Great Khali uses before his “Kiss Cam” escapades are the size of a toasted bagel.

Ranjin … the sideburns are big enough to have their own show and zip code. Plus, Tazz and I feel you might want to try some herbal tea or some decaf before coming to the ring. You might be just a “touch” over the top if you know what we mean. But what ever makes you happy … 

What a Monday Night Raw next week in Philly. Tazz and I will join the other broadcast teams to be a part of the HUGE, 3-hour special that starts at 8/7 CT on USA Network. It is always nice for yours truly to venture back into the land of Raw where the King and I broadcasted more than 600 episodes. The lineup for Monday is big time.

It’s too bad that TWAA (The World’s Angriest Announcer) Tazz will want to steal the show from the broadcast position at ringside in his old ECW stomping grounds of Philly and, as his loyal sidekick; I will do my best to help.

Competition makes everyone better don’t you think?

Hey, didn’t you used to be the New York football Giants Plaxico Burress? Here is a little advice to you young folks, if you go to a night club and the door man is wanding people looking for weapons like GUNS, turn around, leave, and find another establishment where weapons are not an issue.   

What is JBL up to on Raw regarding a business venture with HBK? I don’t know where this matter is headed and not to be overly cynical but something doesn’t feel right about it. However if the two were to establish a business relationship perhaps some of Shawn’s positive traits could wear off on the wealthy Texan turned Manhattanite.

And then again, maybe not.

Of course I still watch Raw on Mondays AND I watch ECW on Tuesdays hoping to hear Matt Striker make a Mildred Burke or Elvira Snodgrass reference and to actually make it relevant.

Little known fun fact ... Todd Grisham is an Alabama Crimson Tide fan which doesn’t make him a bad guy just as long as he doesn’t start combing his hair like the arrogant ‘Bama Coach Nick Saban. If Todd does a “Saban” then we might have a little problem that Tazz and/or his people would need to address. Saban is a great coach but he ain’t no Bear Bryant.

Lots of competition for the many Slammy Awards this Monday night. It’s going to be interesting to see who leaves with a statue and who leaves with a boo-boo face. Some people are not good losers in WWE in case you haven’t noticed.

I never knew Dolph Ziggler went to Ball State University until Michael Cole laid that info on us Monday night in D.C. I wonder if fellow Ball State alum David Letterman is aware of this matter and, if so, if he cares?

Did you know that our Original J.R.’s Beef Jerky is 97 percent fat-free and is a great, low-carb snack? Well, now you do.

I will be flying up to Kansas City on Saturday to watch the Oklahoma Sooners attempt to qualify for college football’s National Championship game Jan. 8 in Miami. Beating a talented Missouri team, the alma mater of both Snitsky and Evan “Air” Bourne, will not be easy no matter what the biased media says. Is the BCS system that broke the players’ hearts from the University of Texas and Texas Tech University’s whacked or what? I’m proud of my Sooners but this whole BCS rankings system finally needs to be addressed and I totally agree with President-elect Barack Obama that college football needs a playoff. (But please don’t raise our taxes Mr. President-elect.)

It will be Philly cheesesteak time for me on Monday in the boisterous city of “Brotherly Love” and I can’t wait! Good food, three hours of Raw with a show loaded with PPV quality bouts sounds like a tasty recipe to me. Then it is on to Bridgeport on Tuesday night for ECW and SmackDown right up the road from where Mrs. J.R. and I lived for many, enjoyable years.  See you there!

Boomer Sooner!
J.R.