Well boys and girls, I just made my first full-fledged road trip with my new partner, the Angriest Man in the World, Tazz, as we drove together from Tampa Tuesday morning to Orlando for the WWE’s flagship network broadcast Friday Night SmackDown.

Here are 10 things I learned on this particular road trip about my new partner:

1. Tazz wears a size 56 sport coat and has 37-inch sleeves. For a guy under 6 feet, those are some long arms.
2. He was a better football nose guard than an offensive guard and was benching over 5 bills when he was in college.
3. Tazz’s college football career ended when he cursed out the university’s athletic director. (That’ll do it every time.)
4. Tazz’s high school in Brooklyn was much like the H.S. in the movie “Wildcats” starring Goldie Hawn. Dangerous.
5. Tazz carries no loose change, so toll roads with no toll booth attendants do not endear themselves to him.
6. The best mood he got in was late Tuesday when I introduced him to Steak ‘n Shake and he was soothed by sipping on a vanilla shake.
7. He owns an Oxford Color Thesaurus and he uses it. I just bought one today. See what an influence Tazz has become already on my career? 
8. I strongly suggest that no member of the WWE Universe (OK so I said it) approach the Human Suplex Machine for an autograph while he is dining, and for goodness sakes do not insist on shaking his hand while he is eating.
9. Tazz “may be” the Tony Soprano of Long Island Little League baseball but I can’t be sure.
10. If you put tomatoes on his sandwich you are likely going to be choked out.
    
    

Even though the appearance of the mighty Undertaker was apparently a closely guarded secret on Monday night, Tazz and I enjoyed broadcasting Taker and JBL’s fast and furious encounter during Monday Night Raw’s 800th episode celebration. I particularly appreciated the standing ovation the fans in Tampa gave me which is another reminder why I love this business so much. Our fans have embraced me for over three decades, which is significantly more than a couple of my ex-wives. Present bride excluded.

My favorite part of Monday Night Raw was watching all the old clips that were played. Did you catch The Fink hyping up the crowd on the first Monday Night Raw from the lovely Manhattan Center, all the classic Heenan material, and the obscure shot of The Fink’s actual vehicle getting its windshield broken much to Howard’s chagrin?

Poor Mike Adamle apparently just couldn’t take it any longer as the GM of Monday Night Raw and abruptly resigned which puts the WWE’s flagship cable show without a rudder … again. Adamle was like Sgt. Hulka of “Stripes” fame … the big toe of Raw. I know Mike was VERY upset in a bizarre sort of way during the day but Mike is strong willed and will rebound. Hell, Mike, I never got the chance to ever resign from Raw, but I’ve been fired about as many times as N.Y. Yankee owner George Steinbrenner pink slipped former Yankee manager, the late Billy Martin.

Do you think that either of the McMahon siblings will be at Raw from Manchester, England next week? I think I’ll fly in early just to find a place in the arena to watch the festivities.

Jerry Lawler, who has purchased a beautiful, new mansion in Memphis, has allegedly been counseling Hugh Hefner regarding Hef’s “female problems.” I think the bottom line, as “Stone Cold” Steve Austin would say, is that Hef shouldn’t trust any female over 25 according to Memphis’ most famous bachelor.
 
Don’t forget that the Friday Night SmackDown broadcast is “bigger than Wichita” as my late Dad used to say as Undertaker faces the undefeated Vladimir Kozlov who can become the No. 1 contender for the WWE Title if Kozlov’s record can remain spotless.

Wouldn’t you love to see The Great Khali execute the “Kiss Cam” in the U.K. with Amy Winehouse? Wow … now that’s a power couple who would have lovely offspring.

Does Ranjin Singh need a side burn wax or is the natural look back in vogue? I think Ol’ Ranjin may have gotten all jacked up on Diet Mountain Dew for this Friday night’s broadcast. You can be the judge.

Shelton Benjamin is the Adrian Peterson of WWE and the United States Champion is defending his title against popular R-Truth Friday night. Think of the greatest manager you can name and then think of how good Benjamin would be right now if the Gold Standard had that ringside manager. Scary thought, huh? Guys like Freddie Blassie, The Grand Wizard, Bobby Heenan, the controversial Paul “Happy” Heyman, Jim Cornette of Midnight Express fame and even General Scandar Akbar would all be able to make Shelton famous … I mean REALLY famous. What ever happened to wrestling managers anyway?

Do you know the most cunning and dangerous area of the SmackDown arena before show time? That’s easy; it’s the Diva locker rooms. I’m hearing some interesting stories coming out of those locker rooms and they are not overly flattering. Something big may be brewing in Divaland. 

I am not pleased that I will miss the finals of the World Series of Poker next week as we will be in Manchester. However, the last time I was in the late British Bulldog’s hometown, we had a great meal or two in their Chinatown area, which was memorable. I’ll catch up to the final table via DVR when I get home Wednesday evening.

I’m still disappointed that Doyle Brunson did not make the final table. 

I saw a promo on TV recently for “Criss Angel – Mindfreak” and remembered that Criss used to perform at WWE New York years ago. One night the illusionist confused my wife with former Diva Ivory. And this is a guy who apparently puts his own body at risk and needs to be able to really pay attention to details to survive. Amazing … useless trivia.

Friday night on MyNetwork TV, WWE Champion and the best in WWE, Triple H, teams with Jeff Hardy against the brash duo of Miz and Morrison who I thought had a heck of a showing Monday night against DX. This tag team match will provide some head scratching moments I assure you.

I saw a side of young, master Hardy that was downright perplexing.

Looks like Hawkins and Ryder may be pursuing respective singles careers, and that they could start as early as Friday night. Both these athletes have ample potential without question.

Did you know that Ricky Steamboat has been spending some mat time with Kung Fu Naki? Kung is a better grappler for it.

BTW is Jack Swagger the best amateur to sign with the WWE in years? My vote is yes and I can see future major main events for the young man who hails from the legendary Danny Hodge’s hometown of Perry, Okla. Swagger attended Oklahoma University on a dual football/wrestling scholarship and was a promising defensive tackle before giving up football to wrestle full time where he earned All-America honors at heavyweight. No one on campus messed with this dude who always had a high opinion of himself.

Speaking of ECW, I still miss the voice of Dr. Joe E. Styles who will always be “The Voice of ECW” to me, but I am really enjoying the broadcasting work of Todd Grisham and Matt Striker. However, I think Todd should start wearing “Stylized”, black suits in honor of the dot com guru, and wear his hair in a fade.

Did I tell you that Tazz insisted that Striker drink milk in a nice little hotel bar in Phoenix recently? It wasn’t pretty.

Would it help for the slumping MVP to counsel new San Francisco 49’ers coach Mike Singletary and get a dose of motivation? MVP is too talented to not be winning matches. 

Do you smell what Obama is cooking? Apparently more American voters did than didn’t. The president-elect has inherited some interesting conundrums, but it doesn’t matter what I think.

What’s the over/under on Governor Sarah Palin making an appearance at WM25? I’m just saying...

Thanks for checking out our ever growing website at www.jrsbarbq.com and you can email me questions there that I will answer on our Q&A section of the site. We also have a store that never closes and I author several blogs there per week on a variety of topics including ‘rasslin, football, food, current events, and whatever else is on my BBQ sauced mind. Yes, I admit it. I’m on the sauce … ”J.R.’S Original BBQ Sauce.”

Yours truly will be in College Station, Texas this Saturday afternoon for the OU vs. Texas A&M Big 12 South college football game that my Sooners must win. I’ll be the one in the black hat on the Oklahoma sideline. 

Boomer Sooner!
J.R.