Greetings from under the black, custom made hat from WWE’s resident BBQ provocateur who has voted early and often on this weekend’s Cyber Sunday interactive WWE pay-per-view. Why do I have more interest in Sunday’s entertainment event than I do the United States presidential race that has been marred by the “legitimate media” (an oxymoron if there ever was one) below-the-belt coverage and endless parodies of the candidates? Enough already.

Any more of this nonsense and yours truly will join Tazz in the “Angriest Man in the World” club.

Friday Night SmackDown on MyNetwork TV this week is a stout show lead by an old school-like main event between two of WWE’s all-time top hands, Triple H and Undertaker. This is a big time attraction that was one of the best matches I can recall on free TV in years. I hope that you make a point of enjoying it as I plan on doing from my palatial hotel room somewhere near Manhattan, Kansas where yours truly will be for the Oklahoma vs. Kansas State Big 12 college football game Saturday at 11:30 a.m. on Fox Sports.

The Diva competition on SmackDown is getting much more heated, or so it seems to me. Michelle McCool is the Divas Champion, but is the pressure of being the top lady on SmackDown getting to the lovely, athletic tomboy from Florida State University? Maria, the No. 1 contender to McCool’s title, and Maryse, among others, have both upped their games in recent weeks.

I’d love to have Maryse’s cell number to just hear her voicemail message. I’m sure the Fink has got it in his George Costanza- like rolodex. I have to admit that Maryse’s accent affects me much the same way that Morticia Adams’ voice did on Gomez Adams when Morticia spoke French during the classic TV show, The Adams Family.

What happened to Carlito and Primo’s last name? I shudder to think what would occur if someone stole my “R.”

“Did You Know?” Dr. Joe E. Styles … the doctor of dot com … loves Osso Buco … of which my Italian wife Jan can make with the best of ‘em. BTW if you see a wagering opportunity on whether the “father of the fade” will be wearing a snappy, black suit this Sunday in the desert of Arizona I suggest that you take the over.

OK, so the man’s name is officially Kung Fu Naki. Alrighty then … but does he really ride a Kawasaki and did you know that he was a huge Dallas Cowboys fan?

Are R-Truth’s raps available on 8-tracks? My mouth breathing cousin would love one for Christmas. R-Truth may get the popularity vote and challenge Shelton Benjamin on Sunday for the United States Title, but my money is on Benjamin to retain no matter who he faces. I am steadfast that the “Gold Standard” is without question one of WWE’s best in-ring performers.

What in the name of the collapsing New York Mets has happened to MVP and will he ever earn his hefty incentive bonus with his next, individual win? Talk about falling from grace … MVP is beginning to sound somewhat like the Dallas Cowboys’ Terrell Owens who oftentimes squeals like a pig stuck under a gate.

In case you haven’t noticed, there is an apparent new contender in the race for the WWE’s Biggest Chick Magnet.  Miz, JBL’s favorite in-ring performer, had the early lead, but lately it seems as if The Great Khali is narrowing the gap. Speaking of The Great Khali, the Bombay sex symbol, what about those massive side burns of Khali’s sidekick Ranjin Singh? Is there such a thing as follicle fertilizer? Because whatever Ranjin is using is working to create “Side Burn Mania.” Is Khali about to become the “Brad Pitt” of India or perhaps the “Skipper” whereby Ranjin could portray “Gilligan”? I’m just saying…

I would love to see the undefeated Vladimir Kozlov challenge Triple H Sunday, but Jeff Hardy seems to be just too popular to not get the votes he needs to earn another chance at WWE gold. However, if the intense Kozlov starts singing the Russian National Anthem, as an obnoxious Jim Rome would say, I’m out.

“Stone Cold” Steve Austin emailed me this week and is looking forward to hooking up for a cold beverage after work Sunday in Phoenix. I hope that the Texas Rattlesnake gets the popular vote and officiates the Jericho-Batista match for the World Heavyweight Championship, because I wouldn’t want to have to deal with Austin if he travels all the way to Phoenix and is “inactive.”

For the record, I’m picking Jericho to retain his title at Cyber Sunday.

Sources say that The King has had computer issues after spending several hours on WWE.com perusing the thousands of Diva photos, especially those of his personal favorite, Kelly Kelly. My suggestion for the drop dead gorgeous, blue eyed Kelly-Kelly, if you have any aspirations of a social relationship with The King, pursue it before your 25th birthday, which I do understand is a few years away. With that said, how many times do you think the Hall of Famer has voted for Kelly Kelly here on WWE.com for the Diva Halloween Costume Contest at Cyber Sunday?

Speaking of voting, yours truly got an e-mail from a fan recently at www.jrsbarbq.com saying that they were voting for Barrack Obama for President because Obama “sounded” like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. What?!

If you are an active member of PETA you might take exception to my broadcast partner’s stylish, suede jacket that he will be wearing on Friday Night SmackDown. Even Tazz’s apparel has an “attitude” and probably argues with other clothing when forced to coexist at the cleaners.

I hope you will check out our ever growing Web site at www.jrsbarbq.com and read our weekly blogs and participate in our Q&A aspect of the site. We also have an online store that “never closes.” However, you can check out but you can never leave.

See you in Phoenix Sunday and San Diego on Tuesday. Be well.

Boomer Sooner!
J.R.             

Editor's Note: Be sure to read J.R.'s thoughts on this weekend's Oklahoma-Kansas State football game in his latest post on OU Insider.