Yes fan nation. It is a fact. The Glamazon is back. You have no idea how difficult it is for me NOT to scream HOLY ____ !!! That was so sick. and she got a GREAT pop. it started off with shock and awe and then BOOM she was over, just like that.
(don't worry, i'm sure she'll demolish mickie again soon) (The children shall cry once more!!!)
As much as i want to talk about how insane it is to watch the WWE's future in the ring. As much as I want to talk about how insanely ready Dibiase is ... (He's so patient. So deliberate. ALREADY?? It took orton time to get comfortable with that kind of stillness, now he owns it but wow, kid. Good for you) As much as I love seeing him drop fists like his old man. how great was that by the way?
...Old schoolers say, "Oh man, love it. LOVE IT!"
...Cats that don't know what i'm talking about say, "Oh man, love it. LOVE IT!"
Then whisper to someone older, "what is this guy on about now?!"
As much as I want to talk about those things, i can't. Beth is back. This kind of thing doesn't happen often people, wether you mark for her not, enjoy it.
...kudos to santino...
Oh and if you don't watch Santino's Casa on wwe.com you're trippin. This cat is way too good in front of the camera.
"But I hate him, he was mean to Rey."
I know but it's just another reason to laugh at him. (Russian Bears for life!)
nobody will get that reference, muhahahahahahaha!
But i can't talk about Santino, cause it's all about Beth. Mickie had a hard enough time against Katie Lea how is she going to deal with a rested Phoenix? Oh and by the way, she looked so good somebody otta sop her up with a biscuit! Two biscuits!
Did anyone else see Batista almost Batista Bomb CM Punk about 30 seconds before he smashed him through the mat?
Dr. Prinze
Tell me about your father ...
"well, he's dead now."
I'm sorry...
"I killed him ..."
Oh, why did you th- --
"Then I decided to become a professional wrestler"
Kane, you don't seem stable enough, to Dr. Prinze, to keep an even/mild temper.
*Kane proceeds to choke slam Dr. Prinze out of his 43rd story office* The Dr, though believed to have survived by some how landing on Vicera, was never heard from again ... Kane is trippin
But I can't talk about Kane, Or Batista, or the Champ, Because the Glamazon has returned, for me, not you. See we've been talking, Beth and I. (I call her lady b but that's just our thing) See we've decided the women's division is about to get torn up. and apparently the creepy italian division as well.
Here's where Beth and I disagree, and i don't know why she's so against this. I felt her theme music should represent her true feelings towards me a bit more clearly. I mean, yeah, it's there now, but you don't really FEEL it. You guys are with me. anyway, i thought a tattoo with my initials, nothing crazy like my face i mean that's just weird, maybe a patch on her uniform, SOMETHING!!!
............
Beth disagreed.
RANDOM THOUGHTS
Shad-rock is getting sick. His moves are big time impact and he really took some serious shots tonight. took them well!
Did I hear correctly? Is it hardy boyz time manana on SCI FI?!?!?!?!?!
WOOOOOOOOO!
But I can't talk about random thoughts ... why?
Because Beth Phoenix, The Glamazon, has returned.
G'night Fan Nation. Dream of Figure Fours ..... Hulksters ...... Stratusfaction...... or a french Giant ...(the only cool french man)
Divas, youth talent, woo's, and general chaos (yeah, he's a general now)
So I dreamt about a pulled bbq pork sandwich last night, J.R.'s bbq blogs are messing with my mind. ...(what's left of it)... Anyway I wake up, coffee and a bacon and egg sandwich. hit the backyard and pick some tomatoes, wrastle with the dog and yet somehow the day doesn't seem complete .... I need a sunday show people.
On to wrestling ...
There has been a lot of chatter about young guys coming up, or lack there of. This is a genuine concern and I'm not here to tell you, "don't sweat it", but seriously, don't sweat it. The right now is this, they have to see what they have in guys like Ortiz, don't quit on this kid just yet. He's got something. as far as a lack of talent, has anyone not seen/heard of Kofi Kingston? (hey adamle has been calling his matches for weeks so ya never know) He happens to be the IC champ and getting pops nearly as big as main event'ers. Cue the haters, "His fans are 6!" to which FP replies, "So were you once." Lol, why do you think you're still a fan?! (this msg applies to Cena haters as well, hehe)
Cena hate
I have never understood this. If he was leaving wrestling for hollywood I would get the boos, that makes sense. but this guy is a lifer. if you don't believe me, ask Ric Flair, or just watch his retirement speech at the HoF ceremony. If he's good enough for the Dirtiest Player in the Game, he's good enough for me. haters reply, "yeah, but he can't wrestle." FP replies, "oh yes he can, and he gets as good as he gives."
Divas ...... This name is causing me a touch of concern. Diva is Dianna Ross, Fergie, or Mariah. And it isn't a quality. Ladies, if you remember one thing, remember that. So what is it with WWE's Divas? are they trying to re-define the term? otherwise, why can't they just be wrestlers? Natalya comes from (arguably?) one of the best wrestling camps around, period. She knows the squared circle very well, has the moves and "oh yeah" she's an actual technician in the ring. Sub/Tech wrestlers in past are serious threats to long title reigns. (do your homework and know your role!) Now does anything in that resume suggest Diva? Michelle McCool finishes people with a brazilian heel hook? thats an MMA submission people! Do people call Gina Carano (mma fighter and Crush from AG) a diva? if they do, when they wake up in the training room they quickly apologize. I don't know, could just be me. Nobody calls Beth Phoenix a Diva and she straight handles shop.
WOOO Backlash
Never bash the woo. the woo is far too strong, far too full of vengeance for you to risk your life by challenging it's power. a woo to you is like a verbal clip of gun fire. JUST DUCK AND COVER!!! accept the WOO and all it's glory or face the consequence. (that's more for one of my blog readers in particular than the rest of you, lol) WOOOOOOO!
A frustrated Latino
Weird, Chavo got played again, armando, played, carlito?, Rey (well he just got back) Vickie is in a wheelchair (but she seems fine to me) Melina is hurt (and that leg look jacked up) so .......... Hello? Latinos? Hola? estan aqui? It's time to pull together people! Mexico, P.R., D.R., friggin, mars, We gots to pull it together!
To my friends on the other side of the pond ...
(That means Great Britain, which means the UK or united kingdom, which means jolly old, which means england)
Okay, first off. how do you expect a Burchill push when you already get like 20 different nicknames?!
Kidding, but see? he wasn't forgotten when Mr. Kennedy ................................
KENNEDY!!!!
..... Left for smackdown, AND he's chasing some IC gold.
RANDOM THOUGHTS
Big Trouble in Little China, watch it, and find out what is truly in the SIX DEMON BAG!!!
(World of Warcraft nerds ... of which i once was - the 6 demon bag is from Big Troub' not your game. GO OUTSIDE! GET OFF TEAMSPEAK! and stay away from gnomes!!!!)
Vladimir Klitchko ( i don't care if i spell his name wrong) Is the most UNentertaining heavy weight i have ever seen. NO FIRE. NO GUTS. NO HEART. just tons of wasted talent and flesh. When Emanuel Steward (the best trainer in the game) can't light a fire inside you, NOBODY can. Picture if Capt Lou was his manager. He'd a got a worse beating between rounds. I would rather watch rosie o'donnel and roseanne barr in the 100meter dash than to EVER, EVER watch that guys 'boxing' again.
Final Thoughts
What do you think the most UNDER rated finisher is?
Mine is the Celtic Cross.
Edge and Vickie ... I think we've suffered enough. No need to blog about them and get stress everyone out.
Couldn't watch Smackdown tonight, bbq'in at my buddy the NinjaFazwell's house and having some lunchtime wrestlin' instead. So you're stuck with the madness. For those of you who think i drink heavily, this may be true, but NEVER when I blog! (that was my PSA announcement)
However, I do want to talk about wrestling (and other random stuff)
First off - Please share the following with your hater friends. Snitsky, yeah Mr. It's not my fault, had his nose broken Monday night when the Champ CM Punk GTS'd the snot out of him (literally). Reminds me of a story, i probably shared before, can't remember. but in 1988 (dodgers win) this kid in the 6th grade named Ray Garcia, told me wrestling was wack and that flair wasn't ****. I punched him in his gut, knocked him on the ground and .... yes, figure 4'd his punk a$$. KIDS DON"T DO THIS AT HOME!!! The following is true, After applying the figure four to senor garcia, his leg (shin bone) decided it had HAD enough and proceeded to SNAP, in two.
RAY GARCIA NEVER SPOKE ILL OF WRESTLING AGAIN
now i'm not saying to employ this tactic, but it worked, son!
Styles make fights. Just like in boxing. Sometimes they work, sometimes eh, not so much. What are your favorites? Mine are Big Man VS Small Man.(very dependent on the small man) If I had my pick it would be Shawn Michaels or Chavo Guerrero, period. (hate chavo if you want, he's ill when in there with a good big man, ask Kane.
Is this true??? I heard Beth Phoenix's new finisher is called ' Freddie, I love you!' Is this true? it can't be. (shut up freddie, it could be.)(okay okay, i'll believe)
Who do you think the best talent is out there NOT getting a push. Think all three dimensions though. How are they in the ring? How are they on the mic? How are they with the crowd? (not, "Wrestler ____ is the best.") that won't mean too much.
A shout out to New Orleans.(since the wwe train just rolled thru) The best fried chicken i've ever had. the worst hang over i ever had. The best cajun ribeye on earth. (Smith and Wolenski's in new orleans is responsible for the entire brand carrying that on the menu) and the best biggest women i've ever met. yes people. Big is Beautiful.
RANDOM THOUGHTS
(fan nation is like, "and the rest of this WASN'T random???)(what, i can't lose focus now?!?!?! AHHHHHH!!! all these rules!!!
I wonder what the best wrestling town is .... I may have to take a road trip, yes canada, that would include you too. (they're so sensitive, you gotta talk sweet to them)
Married guys are better at that than most. If you've been married a while you know how to have an entire conversation consisting of TWO main components. Component 1 - You can manage up to 45 minutes of conversation without offending anyone. Component 2 - You can do this and also retain NOTHING. Actually retain NO part of the said 45 minutes.
For those who refuse to believe this, here's how.
Married men are around women more than the rest of you. Keying in on one woman in particular ... THE WIFE ... The wife is an interesting creature. A chameleon or shape shifter of sorts. We strong few we husbands have the ability to observe EVERY SINGLE FRIGGIN EMOTION in under 60 seconds. Now, granted a one year married man won't have the skill of a 5 or 10 plus but they still have the ability to not hurt a canadian's feelings, which is what we're talking about. PAY ATTENTION!
Alright Fan Nation, apologies for the nonsense, lol. Smack blog for you manana!
The Miz and Morrison! (Notice ted and cody haven't mentioned either of their names)
AHAHAHAHAHA!!! morrison "SHUSHED" the crowd.
Shalayleys (sp) One day i'll look that word up.
Finlay prevents all things from sucking.
Celtic Crosses do NOT suck.
Hornswaggles are lucky.
WRESTLING THOUGHT
With all these youngsters coming through EC(dub)W, I think having guys like Finlay and Hardy, showing them the ropes, (so to speak) only strengthens the brand.
LONGER MATCHES = BETTER MATCHES
Other reasons EC(dub)W does NOT suck.
Theadore Long, period.
Braden Walker = NEW TALENT
Bourne, Ortiz, Walker, you guys sensing a theme too? WOOOOOOO!
Big men off the top rope, does NOT suck!
TONY ATLAS!!!
The man that raised me, was from the bronx. He was 6'9 300lbs and we called him Big Bill. R.I.P.. (we had other names for him when he would whoop on us, but we'll keep those private) He reminded me of guys like Tony Atlas, even Mark Henry (when he was feeling cocky) so i got myself a soft spot for the current champ.
Go ahead and boo, if you met Big Bill it would be 'End of Days' for all involved.
Mike Adamle .....
Ah, man. what are we gonna do people? Nunzio is a "Two time ECW champion." i'm sorry, did something happen in the non-tv years that i missed?! tag team sure, but really Mike? Really?! Taz didn't even leave you hangin' that time. He actually tried to help but ...... forget it. NUNZIO THE CHAMP!
We're leading into the DOUBLE BLOG soon.
OLD SCHOOL
Dreamer is in some trouble, in my opinion. He's going to need a whole lot more than Delany (no offense vato)
The World's Strongest Slam, End of Days.
DO NOT PUSH the WSM
In honor of Tommy Dreamer and all things old school, blog two will be dedicated to old school.
The dog did not eat it. The internet, however, has left me somewhat less than amused. I'm going to be real with you people for a moment.
AWKWARD PAUSE
I'm 'borrowing' my neighbor's internet. DON'T NARC! In my defense, they're some straight shifty neighbors. The ones on my right are way cool, (old chinese dude named Lee, he looks like he knows magic so i don't mess with him) but the neighbors on the left ... SHADY!!! So shady, i am disciplining them by talking trash while using their own internet to do so.
On to RAW
Has Punk been sandbagging on us? He seemed head over heels better on the mic than I have seen him. Confidence could be the answer, or he could just be feeling good, knowing, the champ can get away with nailing Snitsky RIGHT IN THE EYE with a massive GTS!!! (Tell me again wrestling is fake, Broseph .... No? That's what I thought)
Vickie Guerrero
Vickie, just so you know, it isn't you they are booing. It isn't you. It's more a general vibe of spookiness New Orleans is into. They're into ghosts and goblins and girls gone wild videos. The boos are more on that side of the fence. Now I know what you, FAN NATION, is thinking. "THEY BOO HER EVERYWHERE!!!" Now this is true, but were you aware that the new orleans crowd follows Vickie everywhere to actually PROTECT her from evil by surrounding her with a protective shield of ...
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Sort of like ....
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Okay, I'm lying. They hate you. They really hate you.
THE SHOW
With the inmates running the asylum, who will step up? Anyone? Or will it be a feeding frenzy towards heavyweight gold? I'm cool with either, especially when the Animal, BATISTA, is the number one contender. Okay people, you want to know who my favorites are? Tired of hearing me mark for Flair. Well here is my true number two. BATISTA!!!!! (except when he comes out wearing shades, i prefer the 'i'm just here to wreck shop' look) A look he has had since HBK pulled the wool over his eyes. (Y2J calls himself Dr. Jericho but that was the illest bit of psychology I have ever seen.)
QUESTION FOR FAN NATION
Best in ring or out of ring 'psychological attack' ...
LADIES NIGHT
I'm not sure about the BFF angle between the Women's Champ and Kelly Kelly (who wrestled very well by the way) I think Mickie can stay transfixed on Cena but still show a bit of that 'crazy' side. Don't be ashamed ladies. Remember one thing ...
BOYS ARE DUMB ... GIRLS ARE CRAZY
Crime Time & Co. May have trashed that white limo, but notice NOBODY touches the horns. Somethings are still sacred!!!!
MGS4 Update
Walked through Vamp and Liquid's new Metal Gear, RAY. I really wanted to like this game more than I have. But the POV is really restrictive (although they all were) and the bosses are a joke. It looks beautiful, but I really expected more from that brand. Is it me, or did GTA4 ruin every other game on earth?!?!?! Is GTA just that much better? Me thinks ... si.
RANDOM THOUGHTS
I'm into bacon again. This is all J.R.'s fault. If he hadn't blogged about tasty pig BBQ's and all that sweet piggly meat, I wouldn't have to be on the treadmill all d@MneD morning. Bacon .... mmmmm .... cooked slow on medium heat, on some wheat toast with a fried egg? maybe a touch of cheese? AHHHHHHHHHH! Now i'm hungry again.
A little bit of defense for the John Cena haters.
Who else could effectively get the crowd that hot for a match?! WITHOUT A GM?! I mean that was his job and did he do it? No need to answer. Here's another thing. He NEVER makes matches about him. Whether you like his style or not. The dude gives as good as he gets. He may 'hulk' out of things but not before the damage has been done. I will write this again for those who don't remember. REGGIE JACKSON, (that would be Mr. October) (for those who don't know who this is, just ask Derek Jeter, that's his idol) Reggie Jackson was once asked how it felt to be boo'd everywhere but his home stadium. He smiled and said simply, "Nobody boos a loser."
SIX ONE NINE
He's BAAAAAA'AAACK!
First things first. Santino is gold.
More importantly, Rey Rey is back!!! Let this vato get warmed up; shake off the ring rust so to speak and then what? He will be a contender, that's what. Run at the IC or the Big Gold. Remember smaller men may not be able to hold the title consistently anymore, but they can climb that mountain more beautifully than ever. (ummmmm.... Shawn Michaels anyone)
I miss the Glamazon. I miss Beth Phoenix. She doesn't call me. She won't write. "What did I do Beth?" "Talk to me girl."
Or my favorite line,
Now, trust me, I'm not a stalker or anything ... I just really think we connect ....
CREEPSHOW!!!!!
Fan Nation, this woo is for you ... WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
