How do we define Old School? This blog is gonna catch some heat. That being said, this isn't to insult anyone. I don't care how old you are, wrestling fans vary from 5 to 105, but we 'gots to have some ground rules' LOL
I recently read a thread calling the Attitude era 'old school'. (and the Rock's 'attitude' towards it.)
When your name is the definition of bringing in the New School, you can NOT be old school.
FOR REAL
The Rock is still young people. You better not let him see that thread, broseph or you are DONE, SON!!!!
The following terms do not apply when referencing the 90's, "Back in the Day" "Way back when" "Oh my god dude, that was sooo long ago" (i'm getting arthritic typing this.)
DX and Evolution is not Old School, Just really REALLY Kick A$$
The Four Horsemen, that is old school. (wooo is also old school)
Junk Yard Dog, that is old school
The High Chief, that is old school (his roll was known and it was called, the OPENER OF DOORS)
Hulkamania is old school.
The Million Dollar dream, that is old school.
Shane O' Mac, NOT old school (he lived the dream though didn't he .... That son of a ... *cough cough* ... I mean, I'm not jealous, not at all)
Oh yeah, big one here - If you are under the age of 20, you do NOT get to define what is and is not OLD SCHOOL (Big Daddy Kane said that so you know it's true. If you don't know Big Daddy Kane as well as Big Daddy V or Kane ... well he was the guy who informed us that 'pimpin, is in fact, not easy' ... See? Truth. (this is not a dig at you it is simply old school law)(you didn't know about the old school law book? OHHHHHHHH! You know why? Because you ain't old school!!!!
Ron Simmons = Old School (Damn! Even older than that)
Andre the Giant - KING of Old School'land and all that he could see.
Bruno(The Champ) = Old School. If you don't know who that is, stay out of the North East, FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY MAN!!!!
Look, the Old School List goes on and on. If you're Latino, and you like wrestling, the name Carlos Colon rolls off the tongue as easy as Felix Tito Trinidad or even the great one, Roberto Clemente. Bottom line is, I can't name all of them, BUT, I'm old enough and so are a select few of us, that WE get to write them down, WHENEVER WE WANT!!! (mainly because our joints don't work like the rest of your's and this is the last activity we can enjoy.)
So go, go out and play in the sun and sand. While we, The Old School, continue to grow more and more arthritic. Grumbling about punk kids trying to redefine old school and push us out.
Quick Latin Unification ...
Calling Carlos Colon, El Pachuco is risky. Applying more mexican terms to famous puerto ricans, so in honor of OLD SCHOOL, i shall summon the aura of Dusty Rhodes who would so beautifully say something like, "hey we got to blend together baby, we got to ALL blend together) And if it's good enough for the American Dream, it's good enough for me.
The American Dream is Old School
FINAL THOUGHTS
Nathan's Hot Dogs are old school
Slow Cooked BBQ (read J.R.'s Blog) is OLD SCHOOL (J.R. = probably the best resource to define Old School as he is Old School magic!)
Basic Cable is ... Old School
Going to see a House Show ... Old School
Wrestling fans of all ages .... Old School (we sold more seats than the Pope in Ford Field people, and that Pope was WAY OLD SCHOOL!!!)
We'll get to that in a moment. First things first. Jeff Hardy is crazy over right now. this is a feel good story, one that should be noted. (nothing shady about talking about this it's in the magazine) Everyone, EVERYONE, loves a comeback. Look, every man has demons. I have mine, and my father before me. so i get it when they come up and bite you. it ain't fun. BUT, Everyone loves a comeback. Perfect example, Mickey Rourke, (hear me out) He had ZERO shot at a second shot. NO SHOT at a second shot and d@mN if he didn't come back and do it again.(but with crazy weird plastic surgery ... don't get mad! You know you joke about michael jackson, i can joke about mickey)Now, more truth. Jeff Hardy is more over than Mickey Rourke. In a one on one match, Hardy SWANTONS Mickey Rourke ... twice. It reminds me of a story in baseball this season, Josh Hamilton, he has demons, and oh yeah, he just happens to be on track for 100rbi's by the all star break ... COMEBACKS.
NOW ON TO THE FUN STUFF!!!
Hardy VS Morrison
These two had sick chemistry and the no brainer of the night, is to call this the MATCH OF THE NIGHT. The Rock says this is the match of the night ... and so do I!!!!!! Has anyone seen these guy work for that long together? They were real real fluid. Like they'd been in there together a million times. (I know that sounds like marking but i don't remember seeing these two wrestle each other enough to move like that ... my opinion)
...Note to Hardy... Do you really have to land completely flat outside the ring? I would really like to NOT see you get hurt broham.
I have a question about the DIVA belt. Is it me or is it too girly? Or is it supposed to represent a more feminine side? I'm not knocking, i just can't remember what vickie said, er couldn't hear i mean, over the BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOs!!!!!!
Okay, "The Showdown Nobody is Talking About". Remember the draft? Remember a certain Samoan Bulldozer getting drafted to Smackdown? Well what would be the most interesting match up for UMAGA? Edge? Wrong. Jeff Hardy? Wrong. Mr. Kennedy, Shelton, even The GAME? Wrong my friends.
Umaga VS. Koslov
That's right. WOOOOOOOOOO! Can you imagine the damage the two of these guys could do? To each other?! If you want to challenge this undefeated streak, if Koslov wants to challenge himself, then I challenge him (don't tell him I said this part) to challenge Umaga. If for no other reason than to see just how good you are. Who cares about being undefeated?! Ali, Patterson, Louis, Haggler, all have 'blemishes' and all in the hall of fame. And if that ain't a good enough reason, I heard samoans got mad hate towards russia. i heard they still call it the u.s.s.r. I heard the rock tell this joke about russians and their hairy backs, now i ain't the one saying this but the Rock says, What do you call, 12 Russians in a steam bath? ... Gorillas in the mist!!!" Fan Nation, you think that's funny? ....
IT DOESN"T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!!!
Speaking of great ones on the mic, me and the NinjaFazwell put together our top tens on the mic all time. names like super star billy graham, flair, all the way to jake the snake and of course hogan ... stranger choices like randy savage (who didn't always make sense but was still great) to announcers and managers (cap'n lou and J.R.) Now don't post me your top ten, (that takes up mad space) but who is your King of Kings so to speak?
. . . And Edge, oh poor Edge. The air in Canada is thin and unfortunately has dulled your mind. You forgot the cardinal rule. the only rule worth remembering. this rule is like, 13 to 16 times more important than putting down the toilet seat (a quick fix for that is to never even raise it. it's dark fellas, they won't look) The rule you MUST remember is, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned". You're dead brohiem. She's going to kill you, you know that right broseph? You're lying awake in your hotel room, KNOWING, your a dead man. This could actually be your obituary if you dig it. We could play 'Bro Canada at your service', i mean if you want.
I can't wait to see Vickie get creative with the A$$ kickin's er ... i mean matches she's going to schedule for you. You better lay low Abroham. you better lay low.
Random Thought
A bit of advice to all the Husbands out there, to all men actually. When in a relationship, PLAY FOR THE TIE!!!! Remember that, Play For The Tie! Even when you win, you will lose. EVERY time. Ain't nothing wrong with a draw. (Ask Ric Flair ...Flair VS Sting... 198 .... ish?)
It's a non wrestling day, for me ... okay maybe i'll watch some matches on the web but still ....
Being that it is a thursday, i thought i'd dedicate a little time to something important, to me. Bringing in the new blood.
Atlas Ortiz (gotta love the z, people) was introduced on tuesday night by Theodore Long. 'What's that you say? A new latino on tv? It can't be!!'
Okay, first of all, that's messed up you would say that, people. Second of all, it makes me think which one of la raza's cabezas is on the chopping block. lol. Anytime they bring one of us in, one has to hit the road ..... Wait that's in hollywood. All joking aside, and they are just jokes, it's nice to see a fresh face on the brand. Now lets check the positives and the negatives. yes negatives too, he's new, he's going to improve.
PROS
He's got the look. The baby face. The big hair. Has the size. John F. Kennedy said, only 10% is what you say. 80% is how you look. 10% is how you sound. Although he did go to germany and say 'Ich bein ein berliner' as well (i can't spell german) but the point is ... He was trying to say "i am a berliner(someone from berlin) " meaning 'we're all the same'. unfortunately for our former president, you have to define the noun in german so what he really said was "I am a donut" (i'm not lying. he really said that) BUT the crowd still went bananas. he looked great and he sounded great, who cares what he said.
"NICE TO MEET YOU" should be something he uses more. Maybe after he unleashes his finisher. I liked it and it worked well.
PROPS TO THE DUDE WITH THE 'Nice to Meet You Too' SIGN
In the ring we saw a taste, but just a taste. Armando worked the shoulder and kept Atlas grounded most of the match. (I don't think that's the right way to intro someone but what ever, i also root for the new york knicks ...... still.) Although we did get to see one of Atlas' apparent influences as he Hulk'd out of that shoulder lock (although based on time restraints looked like it was in Fast Forward. Personality is what I enjoyed most from Atlas, which is good ... for now. I'm interested to see what he does next. Which is saying something, considering how tough it is to have volume with the show thanks to Adamle.
DROP KICK
Um ..... I think Armando is taller than me and I'm 6'1. that means Atlas got that drop kick off at about 6'3. Who is working with the farm system and it's drop kicks?! Kofi, Cody, and now a 6'3 drop kick from Atlas?!?!?!?!?! how do you guys spell OLD SCHOOL?!
THE CONS
Atlas, you'll get more time in the ring if you actually GET to the ring before the commercial break. Now I get it, national tv, debut, but that was Macho Man Randy Savage long. Macho Man was sitting on his couch, snapping some slim jims and was like, "Oh ye'eeeah! now that's called takin' your time kid!" (i did get a kick out of it though)
Let me hear the impact, Atlas. When you punch your way out of the corner, let me hear it hombre! when you plant that shoulder in the gut, let me hear that impact!(nice sell from armando by the way)
Other than that, I thought he did well enough. I really want to see a fast FAST improvement though. Maybe it's because of the whole latino thing, and wanting to see them do well, but I don't give this kind of time to just anyone.
To wrap up, Atlas Ortiz, Nice to meet you. Get in the zone homey. Do your thing. WOOOOOOO!
Random Thoughts
Shaq is granting wishes to kids after EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM saw that nonsense on the internet. Now i thought it was funny but this dude is supposed to be a role model. (YES HE IS BECAUSE 'HE' SAID SO) That isn't me putting the badge on him like people do to Charles Barkley, that's just a fact. I wonder if the kid asked him how his 'ring' tastes. . . . .
Beat Laughing Octopus and Raging Raven in one night on Metal Gear Solid 4. The game is good. the cut sequences are beautiful but if you think movies are too long these days ..... OH MY GOD! They NEVER end here and just random conversations too. things like, "hey man ..." eternal pause, making me think something great is going to happen ... "hey" yeah, that's it. a 'hey'. and no they weren't trying to make ya laugh. You can skip them but you miss out on opportunities to get 'drebin points' (weapon points upgrades etc)
HAPPY FORF OF JULY!!!
Get OUTSIDE people. Enjoy the summer. Enjoy what global warming has brought us. Fantastic July weather! Get your grill on and eat meat. or better yet, throw a couple VEGANS on the grill. Nothing burps better than tree huggers or bacon. The french cook up nicely as well .... See you didn't know the french were good for anything, but i'm telling you, cook one up, you won't be disappointed. (if you're french, grow up, it's a joke. if you really do cook up a frenchman, you'll probably go to jail, so be sneaky about it ....) Don't blow your self up with m-80's and REMEMBER, Friday nights means, IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!!!!!!!!
FanNation has grown crazy big since i joined and you guys have been awesome. i love the response to the blogs AND if you notice I post EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM!!! So this blog is just for you. something that will hopefully entertain you since we have to wait til' FRIDAY (are you kidding me?!) for more wrestling. Enjoy.
Just watched ECW, i've had it on mute lately to discourage me from killing adamle but I gave it a shot tonight. (Freddie's 1st mistake of the evening) If this dude fumbles through ONE more match. "You know the shilaylay (i can't spell) will be involved ...." STOP IT MAN!!! Not everyone is a sneaky smark! Kids still watch and, OH YEAH, they love Finlay. Taz doesn't even bail this guy out anymore, (which ain't cool by the way. chain only strong as it's weakest link and all that), but hard to blame him. Next he'll announce matches before they actually announced, wait has he done that? If he has, I swear to Ric Flair I will chop that chest til it bleeds!!!!! Okay I'm done venting. On the constructive side i didn't really hear or notice him during the Champ ... sorry ... NEW CHAMP's match against the all heart Delany. Can Tommy Dreamer beat this guy? is he gonna make a Rocky Balboa run? (that could be cool) the answer, i think, is no. actually, no way. actually, how is he going to do this?! A singapore cane ain't bringing down the world's strongest man. if this dude gets his hands on you, its end of days, for just about ANYONE. He's gonna need more back up than Collin.( i love ya homey but we're talking about Mark Henry) Tommy, if you want this belt, if you want one last run, then give us a treat too and bring some old school ecdub originales with you. Then we all win.
RANDOM THOUGHTS
How pi$$ed would P.E.T.A. be if I hooked Rey Mysterio up with like a 'dolphin or a koala bear' luchador mask? I mean, I know its mean but it would feel way sick when he bumps heads with the fans. (fuzzy if koala) IT'S FOR THE KIDS PETA!!!!
ANGER MANAGEMENT
I'm sick and tired of my mac telling me my spanish words are misspelled. NO MAC, my spelling is just fine, vato!!! You want some of this?! I didn't think so. ALBUQUERQUE son, what?!
(ahhhhh, much better)
Another reason Freddie won't be wrestling ...
So i'm beating down my Godson (we're wrastlin, i don't beat him ... yet) and i go for the move arnold did in commando when he holds Sully' over the cliff and tells him "I LIED" to which sully replies .. "AHHHHHHH!!!" ... splat. anyway, you get the picture, i'm holding him with one arm. Well, like arnold, it was my weak arm (surgically repaired my A$$), and my shoulder just decided, "I think i'm gonna do my own thing .... out of the socket." Yeah FAN NATION, i share, see? I SHARE! I got beat by a four year old. so i don't want to hear no more FP for Champ!! It's done people! it's done .........
Anyway, not too much on the show, so sorry's all around. (off to play metal gear solid 4)
John Cena talked about making moments. Moments that stand out. Moments that you can not forget. Where you remember what you were doing, where you were, and who you shared it with. He was speaking about his match with HHH, but his words were universal. The moment for me, wasn't The Game retaining. It wasn't the beautiful reversals both men were able to execute. My moment was 24 hours later. 24 hours later, a man tatted to the hilt. A man who lives drug free. My moment was when that same man literally yanked Mike to the ring, begged for the bell and put the former champ TO SLEEP!
Allow me to date myself a moment
When I was a kid and wrestling was my whole universe, this was not even a possibility. NO CHANCE, to coin a phrase.
A smaller man. A martial artist. A non-wwe invention.(yes i know about RVD) CM Punk gets a whole different kind of heat than the former champ. His lifestyle isolates him. It gives him a strong sense of confidence. some people think it's arrogance but think about it. You're disciplined enough to keep all that out of your body, knowing that puts you on the outside looking in with most people. (most) Your discipline is such that you basically walk alone. Depend on yourself. (that builds confidence) Now lets say, that discipline puts you in a position for a world title ... (briefcase) You are more alone. Who is going to give you a helping hand? willingly? Now put all those things together and add every seat in oklahoma going BALLISTIC and you have a NEW kind of champion. NEW being the key word. CM Punk's lifestyle and loner mentality are not conducive to winning titles. his only shot was that briefcase. BUT that same lifestyle becomes deadly IF you do have the belt.
HOW IS HE GOING TO LOSE ???
Discipline doesn't lose. (ask Edge) Discipline doesn't tap out. Discipline is key, and this man has it in spades.
How do you hold someone down when they already have the gold? Punk has better than average speed. un-matched skill with his feet. solid off the turn buckle. a vast array of mma techniques, focus, heart, oh AND he can choke you out.
What is the downside?
Strength is average, but thats in comparison to who he'll have to deal with (batista, cena, jbl)
I would say he won't have back up, but you never know. Cena helped him last night. (although that was more to secure his own title shot)
Moment, is a word that gets thrown around a lot these days. Like awesome. That burger and fries, that was awesome! Nah broham. The universe is awesome. Seeing a lion thrash a gazelle, that's awesome. Watching the world title exchange hands on a non-ppv??? That's awesome. THAT is a moment.
