Dateline:  December 23, 2008:

- To make a long intro short, I've got two words for you on this very first installment of "The Passion Pit":  Welcome aboard.  I'm sure you'll be in for what promises to be one wild, weird, wooly, and wonderful joyride.  Just make sure you pack a large picinic basket, because it's gonna be a rainbow cruise for the ages, no ifs, ands, or bodyslams about it.

Dateline: December 28, 2008:

- Forgive me if I'm a little exhausted from all the hype, hoopla, and hijinks that often come with celebrating the holidays with friends and family, but there's a part of me that suspects Edge and Vickie's reign as the "Rated R Power Couple" on SmackDown! may not last long in 2009.  For example, instead of Edge battling The Big Show to determine the number-one contender to Jeff Hardy's WWE Championship, GM Vickie Guerrero booked her husband, the so-called "Ultimate Opportunist", and the "World's Largest Athlete" in a tag team encounter against the "Charismatic Enigma" and his brother, ECW titlist Matt Hardy, in the main event of the first SmackDown! telecast on MyNetwork TV on January 2.  Either Vickie has something exteeeemely devious in mind for the Brothers Extreme this coming Friday Night, or has an even more sinister plot in mind to take down the "Rated R Superstar" for all the nonsense he put her through during the past year.  If the latter is the case, then Edge needs to be careful and not let his guard down for a second.  After all, it's been said that "Hell Hath No Fury Over a Woman Scorned", especially when she is a Guererro and hasn't really forgotten how his extramarital affair with her now-former wedding planner, Alicia Fox, almost destroyed their marriage last summer.  Then again, I could be as wrong as wrong can be and chalk it up to just another "Master Plan" devised by Edge and Vickie to throw every-body off guard and come out on top even stronger than ever before.  We'll see what happens in upcoming weeks and months.

- What in the name of bodyslams and pinfalls is wrong with Michelle McCool?  After losing the Divas championship to Maryse during this past Friday night's installment on Smack-Down!, she flat-out lost her cool when she viciously assaulted special referee Maria Kanellis in a post-match beatdown.  While it understandable that losing a title bout on any given night, let alone on nationwide televsion, can be upsetting at best, that's no reason for her to beat up poor Maria like that.  What did she do to deserve such disrespect?  Did she ask Michelle to lose the coveted championship belt?  I don't think so.  Did Maria do a lousy job officiating the match?  Absolutely not.  Whatever her problem is, Michelle needs to look in the mirror sometime to see the true source of her problems.  Maria didn't hurt her; the FSU alumnus just stopped bettering herself and started becoming bitter at herself, no matter what Michelle says to try justifying her behavor.

- At the risk of sounding like a worn-out recording of a popular soft rock tune from the early 1970s, but MVP's losing streak continues.  Okay, maybe I'm a little too hard on the former United States champion / talk show host extraordinaire, but if he's ever going to turn his current misfortune around for the better, he needs to save his sob stories for "The Oprah Winfrey Show" and get focused on recapturing that winning formula that helped him become a true force to be reckoned with and the longest-reigning US titleholder in wrestling history.  Maybe a feud with the red-hot Mr. Kennedy could reignite the spark MVP needs to get out of this funk he's been experiencing and back into title contention.  Otherwise, the Miami, Florida, native will be so farther down the pecking order, you'd need a super-sized microscope to figure out just how far MVP has fallen from grace, whether he wants to deal with it or not.

- Is it me, or is THE Brian Kendrick is prancing around as though he's auditioning for "Danciing With The Stars"?  Excuse me if I'm a little too paranoid for my own good, but "Spanky" is much better off focusing on winning matches and collecting titles, and he has a great partner in Ezekiel Jackson to provide the "steak" needed to complement Kendrick's "sizzle".  Will this formula become a boon or a bust in their quest to wrest the WWE tag team championship from Carlito and Primo?  We'll find out soon enough.

- Which is more terrifying, visting the local tax office to file the annual local, state, and federal income tax forms, or having to meet Kane in a dark alley in the middle of the night?  At this time, my smart money says it's too close to call, given the number of nightmares the IRS and the "Big Red Machine" have caused for everybody since Day One.  Either way, you're always one scary moment away from certain defeat, be it in the ring or the tax office. 

- Who look more ridiculous in a thong, The Blue Meanie, Bastion Booger, Ralphus, "Playboy" Buddy Rose, or Joel Gertner?  Go try figuring out for yourselves, folks; I sure as hell can't!

Dateline:  January 2, 2009:

- If I'm a little pressed for time at the moment, then I'm sorry.  I'd just taken care of all my e-mail messages and only now I'm trying to just take things a little bit easier for a while until I start pounding the pavement in search of better job opportunities when Monday morning rolls around.  Okay, so it's not wrestling-related, but it's one that even us die-hard fans of the mat sport can relate to, especially when you consider how tough it truly is to look for steady, full-time employment that will give you at least half the chance to earn a halfway decent living.  Hopefully, the misfortunes I've experienced during the last three years and four months will change for the better during the new year.  The sooner that happens, the better off I'll be before all is said and done, be it professionally, personally, financially, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. 

- Memo to JBL:  If you want "fair and balanced" journalism at its absolute finest, then forget about Fox News, CNN, News 14 Carolina, the local and national network newscasts, or even your nationally syndicated radio talk show.  Instead, check out the original programming available on wwe.com:  "The Dirt Sheet" with John Morrison and The Miz, "Word Up" with Shad and JTG of Cryme Tyme, "The Weekly Top Five" with Josh Matthews, "Santino's Casa" with Santino Marella, "OMG Moment of the Week" with ECW legend Joey Styles, and "Ouick Cut", featuring all the exclusive highlights from "Raw", "SmackDown!", and "ECW" weekly telecasts.  And if those fine examples won't quench your journalistic appetite, then you need to check out "TMZ", "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart", "The Colbert Report", "Weekend Update" segments from Saturday Night Live, and "Dumb Crook News" segments on the John-Boy and Billy Big Show.  And it wouldn't hurt, either, if wwe.com introduces "Divas' Rountable" to the mix, just to make the "fair and balanced" philosophy all the more meaningful.

- Am I ever going to settle down and grow up one of these lazy, hazy, crazy days of tomfoolery and forklore?  Let me put it this way:  You have a much better chance seeing MVP losing to Hornswoggle in a Belfast Brawl either on TV or during a WWE pay-per-view broadcast than seeing me get my act together (Whatever THAT means!) and get with the program like most everybody else in and out of the WWE Universe.  Say what you will about my devil-may-care attitude, but at least I'm not going to try going out of my way to become someone or something I'm not to better myself in today's ultra-competitive, ultra-stressful job market if I don't feel extremely comfortable with it.  Then again, since tons of strange things have happened before, it's a safe bet that even I might have to snap out of my indecisive indiscretions and into whatever I need to do to make 2009 a major comeback year in the workplace.  As for finding "Miss Right", well, that's another issue I need to look into some other time when (and IF) I can successfully make a life for myself on the job front without falling apart at the first sign of trouble.

- Which WWE Superstar makes the most sense during televised interviews, The Ultimate Warrior or Kizarny?  I don't know about you, folks, but the SmackDown! newcomer seems to have a lot more going for him promowise than the former Intercontinental and WWE champ can ever hope to fathom on even his best hair day; and that's way back when the Warrior made his WWE debut back in '87.  Whether or not Kizarny can deliver the goods when it matters the most, however, remains to be seen; at least until after he makes his debut during tonight's SD telecast on MyNetwork TV, anyway.

- I'm looking forward to WWE's new DVD release, The Best of Starrcade, later this month.  Yeah, I'm an old softie when it comes to great wrestling stars and classic bouts from the past, but I can't help looking back to some of Starrcade's greatest battles, including the "Dog Collar Chain Match" between "Rowdy" Roddy Piper and Greg "The Hammer" Valentine, the "Skywalkers" scaffold match between The Road Warriors and The Midnight Express, the "I Quit" match between Magnum TA and Tully Blanchard, and Ric Flair's NWA / WCW World title encounters with Dusty Rhodes, Harley Race, Ronnie Garvin, Lex Luger, Sting, Big Van Vader, and Randy Savage, just to name a few of the matches.  I just hope that the powers-that-be in WWE will include the voice of Jesse "The Body" Ventura during the DVD set, for he was every but a part of WCW's history as he was in the WWE, whether the naysayers like it or not.  

Dateline:  January 6, 2009:

- If I've asked this question before, I'll ask it again:  What in the name of bodyslams and pinfalls is wrong with Michelle McCool?  First, she viciously assaulted special referee Maria Kanellis after losing the Divas championship to Maryse two weeks ago on SmackDown!, then she takes her ill feelings out on backstage interviewer and 2008 Diva Search winner Eve Torres during this past Friday night's episode.  I don't know about the naysayers, folks, but Michelle is either becoming too bitter over losing the championship or letting what little success she's having so far get to her head.  Whatever her problem is, it's a crying shame that a Diva with so much talent, drive, desire, and confidence to become the best female athlete she knows she is has to walk around with a humongous chip on her shoulder.  Not only is this a horrible reflection on herself, but also to the rest of the Divas roster. And as Carlito would often say, that's not cool in anybody's playbook, let alone mine.

- Say what you will about SmackDown! newcomer Kizarny.  Sure, his promos may sound like he'd just graduated from The Ultimate Warrior School of Nonsensical Ramblings, but anyone that defeats an accomplished and successful grappler like MVP in his debut match this past Friday night can't be all that bad, which is more than I can say about MVP, whose losing streak continues to grow with each passing match. 

- Speaking of MVP, I think a great series of matches with the red-hot Mr. Kennedy should help get him out of this miserable funk he's been on in recent weeks and reclaim the competitive drive and ambition the former United States champion had when he first arrived on SmackDown! back in the fall of 2006.  Sorry if I'm playing the Devil's Advocate, but if that's what it takes for MVP to stop whining and start winning, then so be it.  There are a lot of ways for an individual to solve his or her problems, and all this negative mumbo-jumbo MVP and Michelle McCool are exhibiting these days is definitely NOT one of them.

- Magic Mirror, on the wall. who's the most dominant "power couple" in sports-entertainment today?  While there's no secret I'm nobody's poet, I can't help wondering which tandem has the most influence over the WWE landscape, Edge and Vickie on SmackDown!, or Santino Marella and Beth "The Glamazon" Pheonix on Raw?  Sounds like a pretty good question to ask in an upcoming WWE web poll to me, no matter what the haters and crybabies have to say about it.

- Negative stuff absolutely sucks, from around the block to around the world and everywhere else in between.  Why do you think I don't pay too much attention to the local and network evening newscasts these days, anyway?  Give me "The Dirt Sheet" anytime!