Well, SmackDown's momentous 500th episode is only days away! In honor of it, here are my ten favorite events in SmackDown history.
#10. The original theme song
1999—WWE loves to reinvent their shows with new theme songs and new sets every few years—a concept I don't disagree with. It helps to define different eras in the product and give things a "fresh coat of paint," if you will. However, this inevitably means occasionally tossing out something good, and though WWE keeps on trying, I still don't feel that they've come up with a theme song for SmackDown that's as good as the very original was.
Not only was it a high energy, in-your-face techno/rock tune that got me pumped up and ready for action far more than the mostly mellow rock & rap songs that have followed it, but it was also memorable because it was there the day WWE truly evolved towards its current product. Before SmackDown WWE was pretty much a once-a-week affair, and now fans of sports entertainment can watch 5 hours each week. (Soon to be 6 when WWE Superstars debuts!)
#9. Paul "The Pirate" Burchill
2006—Paul Burchill, then as now was trying to find a way to connect with the WWE audience and looked to his heritage for inspiration. Following in the footsteps of his great, great, great, great grandfather, and against the wishes of his mentor and friend, William Regal, Paul transformed himself into a modern-day buccaneer. Some found it silly, but those of us who understood Burchill's motivation and dedication to his role found it admirable... and a lot of fun too!
Burchill combined his ring prowess with a memorable gimmick that, at least in the world of WWE, wasn't all that outrageous and allowed him to have a flashy entrance unlike any other. And for a short time, Burchill even saw the greatest success of his WWE career until he eventually overcame and humiliated Regal, who was forced to dress up as a buxom wench for Burchill's amusement. However, following this incident Burchill disappeared from WWE almost overnight, finally resurfacing two years later with sister Katie Lea in tow and back in the good graces of one William Regal. Since then, he has continued to struggle in making a name for himself. Although his fans continue to hope for better things in his future, one cannot deny that as of this present time, his best days were on the account.
#8. Chris Benoit beats Orlando Jordan in 23.4 seconds
September 1, 2005—At Summerslam 2005, Chris Benoit challenged Orlando Jordan for the United States Championship, which he won via a surprise application of the Crippler Crossface. But heck, once could be a fluke, right? Not in Benoit's eyes. He enjoyed himself so much that he was determined to do it again, and defended his newly won championship against Orlando at his first opportunity the following SmackDown.
Chris Benoit would go on to beat this time yet again, defeating Jordan in 22.5 seconds the week after. However, the prior victory is the one that stands out in my mind due to how much more unexpected it was the second time around than the third.
#7. Matt Hardy Version 1
2003—Following a falling out with brother Jeff in 2002 (sound familiar?), 2003 was the year that Matt Hardy's singles career came to life, as Matt Hardy evolved into the Sensei of Mattitude. Showing us all that he had more to offer than just being the dependable brother who was there to support Jeff and help win tag team gold, Matt became a success in his own right, earning himself legions of MFers (Mattitude Followers.)
Random Matt Facts
Matt thoroughly dislikes speedbumps
Matt's typical bedtime is 3 a.m.
Matt is a big fan of Jamba Juice
Matt has wrestled on every continent except Antarctica
Matt always moves onward and upward
(...see them all at Matt's Myspace page)
#6. Brock Lesnar & The Big Show collapse the ring
June 12, 2003—Not much needs to be said about this. Just watch it if you don't know what I'm talking about. (If you do know what I'm talking about, admit it—you're going to watch anyways.)
#5. The commentary team of Michael Cole & JBL
2006–2007—SmackDown has seen a lot of commentary teams in nearly a decade, most of them somehow involving Michael Cole. But for about a year, magic was in the air when John "Bradshaw" Layfield became the latest color commentator to work alongside Cole. JBL, unlike the average color commentator, has seen the action from both sides and wasn't the least bit afraid to call out Cole when his job performance wasn't up to snuff. Being that we're talking about commentary in general, there isn't anything I can show specifically from SmackDown that will prove my point, but I was able to find the following:
Transcript of commentary from the 1997 Royal Rumble Match
Cole: We haven't seen an elimination in some time.
Lawler: Here comes one now!
Cole: RVD—but he hung on! Rob Van Dam hung on...
Lawler: Uh-oh!
Cole: ...very unorthodox, very flexible, almost Gumby-like Rob Van Dam...
Lawler: JBL... did Michael Cole just compare Rob Van Dam to Gumby?
Cole: I said he was "Gumby-like!"
Lawler: Oh, man.
JBL: Disgusting. I... I deal with this every week.
...and here's a clip that's actually from Raw, but it does show JBL and Cole working together as only they can...
#4. X-Pac vs. The Big Show
December 30, 1999—No video clip of this exists as far I'm aware, so I'll just recap briefly. The McMahon-Helmsley Era was moving full speed ahead, and the main event of the night was X-Pac vs. The Big Show. Well, it certainly doesn't seem like that would be much of a challenge for The Big Show, but in the history books, The Big Show is noted as the loser of this contest and X-Pac, the winner. Why? How?
Because X-Pac was part of the greatest faction of all time: D-Generation X. And Triple H, leader of D-Generation X at the time, was the beneficiary of very special treatment from Stephanie McMahon, his wife and part owner of WWE. As she and Triple H watched the match from their luxurious sofa at the top of the stage, it became apparent that The Big Show was too much for X-Pac to handle. So the match became a handicap match, as Stephanie & Hunter sent The Road Dogg to join X-Pac in the ring. That too, was not enough to even the odds, so Billy Gunn joined the fray only moments later. Finally, Triple H had seen enough and got involved himself, making the match a four-on-one handicap match, which even The Big Show could not overcome. In the end, X-Pac pinned The Big Show and DX celebrated the end of the millennium with a literally huge victory.
#3. Triple H vs. The Rock (guest referee Shawn Michaels)
August 26, 1999—Triple H had just recently captured the WWF Championship from Mankind on Raw, and on the debut episode of SmackDown, The Rock challenged Triple H for it! Triple H wasn't prepared to just give The Rock a title shot, but Commissioner Shawn Michaels interrupted and made the match official, inserting himself as the special guest referee.
(History lesson for those who weren't there to see it: following Wrestlemania XIV, HBK's mounting injuries were the catalyst that caused him to leave WWE and leave DX. Time went on and Shawn and Hunter drifted apart. At this point in time, they were definitely not seeing eye-to-eye. Yep, definitely not.)
Shane McMahon made an appearance on stage, and decided to insert himself as a second guest referee, but Shawn outsmarted him. Seeing that Shane had helped Triple H to win the title from Mankind Monday night, Shawn would have none of that, and booked Shane McMahon against Mankind, effectively removing Shane from the title fight later on.
The match went on as scheduled, and Triple H was lying prone on the canvas as The Rock prepared to deliver the most electrifying move in sports entertainment, The People's Elbow... when all of a sudden, Sweet Chin Music connected with The Rock from out of nowhere! Triple H made the cover... and retained the championship with a little help from good ol' HBK.
#2. DX vs. Kane, Shane McMahon, The Rock & Austin (Survivor Series Rules)
November 4, 1999—This was a very special attraction for SmackDown, as we rarely see Survivor Series matches, let alone outside of Survivor Series itself!
To sum up, DX had done little to endear themselves to some of the WWE's biggest names in 1999, and to make matters worse, they had gotten on the bad side of the McMahon family as well. So much so that Vince McMahon no longer considered Steve Austin his primary target. Imagine that! The sides were pretty evenly stacked and eliminations happened on both sides until only Triple H and Austin were left. Vince McMahon, who was watching from ringside, saw an opportunity to get involved and brought a chair into the ring, but Triple H stopped him before he could utilize it. Triple H and Austin fought over the chair, and an undeterred McMahon brought another weapon into the ring: the WWF Championship. He aimed for Triple H but hit Austin instead by mistake (although Austin was less than convinced of this), and Triple H went on to be the sole survivor, winning the match for DX.
#1. The Billy & Chuck Commitment Ceremony
September 12, 2002—For months on end, the tag team of Billy Gunn and Chuck Palumbo were one of the more curious attractions on SmackDown—using a poppy boy-band theme song, spending inordinate amounts of time together backstage and wearing matching outfits & headbands was just the start of things. Then there's Rico, their even more curious manager, who "helped" them to "admit their feelings" for each other, leading to a commitment ceremony on one fateful night. Preparations were well underway, but Rico had apparently forgotten one thing... he needed one more witness besides himself, so he convinced SmackDown General Manager Stephanie McMahon to attend the ceremony.
Billy & Chuck were serenaded to the ring by a rousing chorus of "It's Raining Men," whereupon they were to be wed by an elderly preacher whose nervous tics and nasally voice would be sure to leave a lasting memory...
In what would turn out to be the greatest mystery reveal since the heyday of Scooby-Doo, the entire ceremony turned out to be a hoax perpetrated by Rico and Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff, who had been competing with Stephanie McMahon in a series of escalating one-upmanships. Amazingly, the two eventually simply allowed bygones to be bygones, and Billy & Chuck faded into the background, as their big day turned out to be nothing more than a scheme that they were only a small part of. But they will forever remain a significant part of what I still consider the most amazing moment in Smackdown history. Plus I heard they got a free gravy boat, so there's that.