I found this extremely long but very entertaining look back at the history of Hell In A Cell Matches and thought there might be some who would enjoy reading it during the boredom phase of their time on this site.

Hope you all enjoy

Evolution Schematic 09.20.08: Hell In A Cell (Version 2.0)  

 (09.20.2008) - Mathew Sforcina 

The WWF/WWE has always been, at its heart, dominated by single feuds. It always seems to end up being 1 man vs. 1 man. Hogan/Andre, heck, Hogan/Anyone. Savage/Flair. Hart/Michaels. Hart/Austin. Austin/McMahon. Foley/HHH. Rock/HHH. Taker/Edge. So on and so forth; if you look at the main issue, the #1 drive of WWE TV, it tends to end up being about two men who just couldn't get along for long.

Thus, while the NWA/WCW had Wargames, while they were about teams of men, in McMahon-Land, everyone was always a little too selfish, and thus their top match had to be 1 on 1.

Except for the odd tag match.

Oh, and that 6 man oddity.

But really, at its heart, Hell In A Cell has always been, and will always be, about 2 men entering.

1 man leaves. For this is Hell. There have been several versions, several stages, but no matter what, it changes those who enter it.

Premise- Take Hell. Enclose.

Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here.

Cage matches have been around the business for a fair old while. And originally, the idea of said cage matches was to keep the wrestlers in and everyone else out, and thus when one side had been able to totally decimate the other, they could simply walk out. One would have to totally destroy the opposition to be able to leave. That was the theory. But over time, too many people found ways in, and too many times people could win by a fluke. So the Cell was made.

Unlike standard steel cages, the Cell was not attached to the ring, but rather surrounded it, including the apron and the arena floor between the ring and the barricade. And, unlike standard cages, there was a roof to the cage, thus making it, in theory, impossible to get into and out of. After the entrants entered, he who gets the pin or submission wins. The steel mesh and anything unlucky enough to get trapped inside the cell is legal. As time has progressed and the need arose, the Cell has been enlarged and, in deference to what should not have been required but was quickly proven to be needed, footholds in order to climb up top have been provided.

But, who could possibly need this? What sort of cowardly, snivelling bastard would require this? Just who would be that hated that an idea like this would be thought up for?

Debut- He's just a Sexy Boy, Sexy Boy...

The Sowers Of Discord, Circle 8, Bolgia 9

Mid to late 1997. Shawn Michaels, as head of the not-quite-yet-created Degeneration X, was acting like a...well...Degenerate.

Shocking, I know.

At the time, in the lead up to Survivor Series, Shawn had two major enemies. One was then WWF Champion, Bret Hart. Hart was high on his Anti-USA crusade, fighting The Patriot, and thus was not focused on Shawn just yet. But his other major enemy was focused on Shawn. Very, VERY focused on Shawn. After all, Shawn had cost him the world title to Bret. This second enemy would be The Undertaker, who, with the fans solidly behind him, wanted to teach Shawn a lesson.

Problem was, when Sgt. Slaughter, then WWF Commish, put the two in a match, at In Your House: Ground Zero, the first 3 hour IYH PPV, Shawn Michaels ran away. A lot. And Not-DX cheated. A lot. And refs were beat up. A lot. And Taker kicked everyone's ****.

A lot.

And thus, the whole mess was thrown out as a no contest. Given that it was the main event of the show, this was seen as a bad thing. So, when a rematch was signed for the next PPV, Badd Blood, some way to control the chaos was needed. And then some minor little man or woman in the WWF front office, possibly doodling on an old Raw Magazine, came up with an idea that would change the course of Professional Wrestling history.

Hell In A Cell.

Well obviously, given the subject of the column.

Keeps DX (as they were now called) out, keeps Shawn in, and allows for Taker to kick HBK's ass at his leisure. And that he did, slowly and without rushing kicking Shawn's ass all over the Cell. Shawn tried to run away, but Taker would just catch up to him. So Shawn then went to Plan B- Beat Up Taker. But Taker, despite taking some very stiff shots, kept on coming. So, Plan C was born- Get out of the Cell. But how? The door was locked, and there was a roof. So, Plan C2- Beat up a random guy, in this case a camera man, thus necessitating the Cell's opening. Success! But then Shawn saw an opening, and nailed the Sweet Chin Music. So thus, the door opening wasn't needed, as-

Taker Sits Up.

RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!

And thus, the two brawled outside the cell, and Taker slammed Shawn's head into the cell several times, making him bleed like the cliché of your choice. Shawn then had no place left to go but up. So up he went, to the top of the Cell. And Taker, even more pissed off than usual, followed. The two brawled some more, and thus HBK continued to run away, since he had thought the roof would be safe. But it wasn't, and as he tried to climb down, Taker knocked him off, through the Spanish Table. Then put him through the French table (remember the French Table? Before the Raw/SD/ECW deal nowadays?). Then back into the Cell. And after a few choice shots, Taker called for the Tombstone and the end of HBK's misery when...

Taker's past came back to haunt him. As Kane returned, ripped the Cell's door off, lit his pyro, Tombstoned his half-brother and left, leaving Shawn to pull his bloody carcass on top of Taker to somehow pull off the win.

To say this match was violent is putting it mildly. To say it was impactful is putting it really mildly. And saying that it was slightly popular is just down right wrong. And thus, the next time this demonic, pain bringing match would even be considered would, of course, be...Raw?

Phase 2- The Tag Match We Don't Talk About Much.

The Vestibule of the Opportunists

Well, that's a slight misnomer. See, a year later, things had changed slightly. HBK was gone. Taker was still liked, but was not fully trusted. Kane was named, around and kicking ass. Austin was in full blown Austin 3:16 says McMahon can kiss my ass mode. And Mankind had resurfaced somehow in Mick Foley. And all 4 men were in heated battle, Mankind and Kane as a unit, Austin and Taker as a reluctant unit, Taker and Kane secretly in cahoots and Mankind and Austin not getting along at that time. And thus, the 2nd last week before King Of The Ring 1998, where Austin was set to fight Kane in a First Blood match and Taker was set to fight Mankind inside the Cell, a preview was held on Raw. It pitted Austin and Taker against Kane and Mankind inside the Cell. But the match itself was not that long or involved, as it quickly descended to an all out brawl, Foley taking a HBK-esque fall through the Spanish Announce Table the highlight. But given that the match ended in a No Contest, it is barely remembered, and (arguably) rightly so, given what happened 2 weeks later...

Phase 2b- ‘Would Somebody Stop The Damn Match!'

The Violent Against Themselves, Circle 7, Round 2

King Of The Ring 1998. Few people remember Ken Shamrock winning the King Of The Ring Title. Even less The New Age Outlaws retaining over the New Midnight Express. A few more remember Kane winning the WWF World Title.

But everyone, for various reasons, remembers the Hell In A Cell match.

Off the top of the Cell, through the Spanish Announce Table.

Through the damn Top Of The Cell.

Chokeslam Onto Thumbtacks.

The Undertaker beats Mankind.

The match was not pretty, nor technical in any sense, but it was important. It was the peak of violence in the WWF. It marked the turning point of The Undertaker from bad ass to sadist. And it showed us just how tough Mick Foley could be. So tough, in fact, that he once again fought in a meaningless Hell In The Cell a short time later. Of course, there was one minor incident before that...

Phase 2c- I remember getting poked a bit for forgetting this last time.

The River Acheron

See, during the Kane/Austin WWF Title First Blood match that followed Mankind's near death experience, the Cell re-lowered by an unseen hand. Thus, some people choose to include it as a HITC match. But it wasn't, so we'll move on.

Phase 2d- You always hurt the ones you love. No, wait, hate.

Caina, The Treacherous To Kin, Circle 9, Round 1

By the time August 24, 1998 had rolled around, Mankind was beginning to suspect his then Tag Team Champion partner Kane of being, well, evil. And Mankind was, by this time, not really into that kind of thing any more. Deep, dark evil that is, mild selfishness was fine, but the way Kane and Undertaker seemed to be heading was a bit odd. And so, a week before Mankind and Kane were set to defend the Tag Team belts against The New Age Outlaws, Mankind challenged Kane to a Hell In A Cell match.

Well, Mankind wasn't exactly the sharpest of Foley's thinking processes.

This, like the last Raw Hell In A Cell, was a little lacklustre, as the match quickly ended in a no contest. This led to Kane no-showing the PPV, which led to them losing the tag belts, which led to the fans embracing Mankind, which led to Foley winning the WWF World Title.

Hence, in the long run, it worked out well for Mick, the WWF and everyone in general.

Unlike the next Hell In A Cell.

Phase 3- Wrestlemania XV kinda bites. This is a major reason why.

Fortune Tellers And Diviners, Circle 8, Bolgia 4

See, it made sense, in a twisted kind of way. At the time, early 1999, Undertaker had gone from bad ass to Demonic Sadist. And his target of choice was Vince McMahon. Or, rather, he was working FOR McMahon in a huge plot in order to try and ensure Austin didn't regain the belt but having Taker as a separate entity until the time was right for Shane to turn and reveal his true purpose... No wait, at this point in time, Taker and Paul Bearer and The Brood and all them were Demonic worshiping bastards who didn't like Vince; it was after the show that Vince somehow convinced them to forget about all that in order to screw over Austin...

I only finished it two weeks ago and I still can't get this all straight. It says something that KANE seems simple and logical in comparison.

The point is, on that night, Taker was Demonic and Evilish, and Boss Man was trying to defend Vince and the Corporation, who he was loyal to. Thus, Taker and Boss Man would fight in Hell In A Cell, since they hated each other so much, and Taker had lost in it and won in it and drew in it. End of story.

Of course, once inside, Boss Man's bravado and cockiness evaporated since he realised just what the hell he had gotten himself into. He tried to brawl, but Taker was just too methodical and hard for him. Then he tried to run away, and thus the two men brawled around the ring, rather than inside it. But that plan didn't work, Boss Man not getting the advantage there either. So, thinking quickly, Boss Man pulled out a pair of handcuffs from...

Hell, he's the Boss Man! He probably owns more handcuffs than you do DVDs.

Anyway, with his handcuffs, he handcuffed Taker to the cell (amazing, isn't it?) and then laid in shot after shot after shot. Eventually Taker was slightly cut, and the trickle of blood was enough motivation to free him and then, well, cut Boss Man slightly. And then a Tombstone ended the match, giving Taker his 8th straight Wrestlemania victory. And after the match, The Brood and Taker hanged Boss Man, giving him a sore neck for a day or two.

But that sore neck apparently stuck with Boss Man, at least on a Karma level. He somehow escaped dying after being hung. Thus, his life needed a major bummer to counteract that stroke of incredible good luck. And, like he tended to do to, Al Snow provided it.

Phase 4- Do I really have to talk about this? Really? Please? I'll do anything to not do it...

The Thieves, Circle 8, Bolgia 7.

Some people consider the Kennel From Hell Match a Hell In The Cell match since it involved the cell. I don't. It used escape rules, had a second cage and involved fornicating and defecating dogs. That's not Hell In A Cell. And besides, do you REALLY want to think any more about that match than you have to?

But the run of not that good, interesting or violent Hell In A Cells ended there, for the next time the Cell was brought out, the issue was heated, the wrestlers angry and the setting just. And the name was truly fitting...

Phase 5- No Way Out for 3 Personas.

Falsifiers, Circle 8, Bolgia 10

You see, Triple H was a two time WWF Champ. He was married to Steph, and thus head of the McMahon-Helmsley Era. He was on top of the world. But there was this thorn in his side. Well, a few, but at the time the main one was a large Long Island one called Mick Foley.

See, Mick, as Mankind, was unhappy with said McMahon-Helmsley Era. They listened to his grievances, and then made his life a living hell. Firing him, humiliating him, the whole 9 yards. But eventually they were forced to bring Mankind back in. So then, HHH beat the hell out of Mankind. So much so that Mankind had to pull out of his Street Fight with HHH at the Royal Rumble.

Score!

But only to be replaced by Cactus Jack.

Own Goal!

But somehow, HHH managed to pull out a victory over Mick at the Rumble, thanks to a Taker like burst of sadism with a 2nd Pedigree onto Thumbtacks. But unfortunately for HHH, Mick was still around and still kinda pissed off.

Ergo, HHH, in an attempt to get rid of Mick once and for all, gave him a deal. HHH's Title against Mick Foley (not Cactus Jack's, not Dude Love's, not Mankind's, Mick Foley's) career. In any kind of match Mick wanted, as long as it didn't involved thumbtacks. Despite them winning the day for HHH, he still didn't like them. And thus, despite his record being less than stellar, Mick chose the Hell In A Cell match. In the lead up to said match at No Way Out 2000, Cactus guaranteed that he would once again fly off the cell, but this time to drop and elbow onto HHH.

This kinda worried HHH.

Thus, he made sure that the refs padlocked the Cell door very, securely, thus denying Mick his exit and thus flight. After checking the door, Mick decided to focus on HHH. The two brawled, using the Cell, a chair and the ring steps, HHH using the steps as a high powered projectile early on in the match. This turned out to be a mistake, as later on in the match, Cactus decided to give a receipt to HHH. Cactus, despite being grated on the Cell, backdropped into the Cell and generally put through the wringer, picked up the stairs and tossed them at HHH.

HHH ducked.

The stairs busted the Cell wall, creating a hole.

And thus, Mick had his exit. He made the hole a little larger by sending HHH though it, and the two then brawled around the Cell. After a piledriver on the table, Mick climbed, but Steph stopped him going all the way. HHH then recovered, just in time to get a 2X4 wrapped in barbed wire to the face. Naturally, HHH ran like hell. Unnaturally, he ran up to the top of the Cell. Mick followed, but HHH knocked him off, and once again, Foley crashed into the Spanish Announce Table. And once again, he recovered. But unlike last time, he couldn't get a chair up on top of the cell, and thus just went up by himself. Thus HHH was free to use the 2X4 in Barbed Wire a bit. He did so. But after a DDT, HHH was down and Foley was able to add the next level. What was worse than a 2X4 wrapped in Barbed Wire?

A Flaming 2X4 wrapped in Barbed Wire.

But this proved disastrous, as Cactus got too obsessed, and thus when he tried for a Piledriver onto the weapon, HHH backdropped him out and over, through the Cell to the ring below.

Which then broke.

HHH then got down to the ring, and was horrified to see Cactus, somehow, someway, crawl out of the wreckage like Frankenstein's Monster. But where a fall through steel and pine failed, a Pedigree didn't, and HHH won his first Hell In A Cell, and retired Mick for a good few weeks.

But then the Cell, after this brutality, returned to the original purpose. Brutality was not the purpose of the Cell, merely a by-product. What was the purpose was to keep everyone out and a bad, bad man in.

No, not Rikishi, even if he was involved.

Phase 6- 6 Men, 1 Title, Many Changes, It's True, It's True.

The Hoarders, Circle 4

See, where there had been HBK, cocky, brash, annoying World Champ was now Kurt Angle, goofy, egotistically self deluded, annoying World Champ. Whereas HBK kept running and running from Undertaker, everyone wanted first crack at Kurt, thinking he was easy pickings, despite having beaten The Rock a month earlier to win the WWF World Title. Rock wanted his rematch, Taker wanted to teach him a lesson, HHH wanted HIS title back, Rikishi wanted to prove he deserved his new found status, and Austin was, well, Austin, and thus automatically and at all times wanted title shots.

So, Commissioner Foley signed for Armageddon 2000 the first and only 6 man Hell In A Cell match for the World Title (Thus proving that despite what people think, Eric Bischoff has a little more imagination than Mick Foley, given his invention of a whole new match when faced with a similar problem). This did not sit well with Vince, who felt that adding more men to the NITC was a recipe for disaster, and prayed for everyone's souls to be forced through this as he addressed the fans from the entranceway on top of a flat bed truck.

Funny, didn't think he had a soul.

Anyway, the 6 men, with varying emotions and attitudes, entered the Cell, all looking to pull off the win. The match was chaotic, violent and bloody, with most of those involved ending up busted open. The men started off brawling, and then they moved onto scraping around the cell, Austin taking that literally by dragging HHH's (insert joke here) forehead right around the cell, scraping him across all four walls and ending up where he started. This then started a chain reaction of finishers, everyone hitting one only for it to be broken up by someone else.

At about this time, Vince drove down in the truck, intending on using it to bring the Cell down to stop the carnage, although the fact that this would probably lead to the crushing of the superstars in the Cell by said collapsing Cell seemed to have missed Vince entirely. But it was irrelevant, as Mick Foley came out and prevented any Cell Degradation beyond Vince ripping the door off the Cell. HHH, remembering his chances, then left the Cell. Quickly followed by everyone else. So now the brawl was outside the Cell. And then, after HHH ran away further, the brawling took place on top of the Cell. Everyone got choice shots in, but the big one came form Taker, who chokeslammed Rikishi off the Cell roof onto the truck. But this paled in comparison to the sight of The Rock and Steve Austin facing off inside the Cell. The two fought, but it was broken up by HHH, which led to a Rock Bottom on Angle (HITC is chaotic at the best of times, with 6 guys it was really bizarre), which then led to a Stunner on Rock, but HHH then brawled with Austin, allowing Angle to cover Rock to ‘steal' the pinfall and keep his title against overwhelming odds. Thus, Angle became one of a few men to enter Hell and come out the other side intact.

The next man to debut in the Cell would not be as lucky.

Phase 7- And the walls came tumbling down...

The Wrathful And The Sullen, Circle 5

A lot had happened in the 17 or so months between Hell In A Cells. Austin had regained the belt, but lost his soul. WCW had invaded, ECW had invaded, but WWF stood tall. Chris Jericho had gone from fan favourite to hated first Undisputed champion and then just hated. The nWo had arrived, and splintered. By the time WWF Judgment Day 2002 rolled around, the Undisputed Title was around the waist of, of all people, Hulk Hogan. And he was set to fight The Undertaker, who was in the middle of his "Respect Me, Dammit!" period. So HHH and Jericho had nothing to do.

Thus, they were set to have a match. And just for **** and giggles, Vince made it into a Hell In A Cell.

Truly an auspicious return.

The two men did hate each other, and had fought in the past, but the match stipulations seemed a little tacked on. This thought quickly disappeared as the two men began using everything that wasn't nailed down to fight, stairs, ladders, chairs, and of course, the cold cold steel. And then, the seemingly requisite "major move inflicting injury" of HITC's (if only there was a shorter way to say that) occurred, when Tim White, the referee for the match, took a misplaced shot and got slammed into the cell wall, sickly bumping to the floor (hey, that works!). This was a problem, since he was the only one with a key to the door. So the refs on the outside got bolt cutters while Jericho, seeing the ref out and bleeding, beat down HHH some more.

Then HHH found his trusty sledgehammer, and El Kabonged Jericho. But the refs were too busy checking on White, and by the time they had noticed, Jericho (using the HBK tactic book) crawled out of the cell and then slammed the door into HHH's face. The two then brawled around the outside of the Cell, and culminated with a DDT on Jericho through the announce table. Jericho, having enough, decided to take a breather on top of the cell.

HHH followed, barbed wire 2X4 in hand. The two brawled on top of the Cell as a ref climbed, deciding to let the top of the Cell count if only to end the match. And eventually, a Pedigree to the Cell roof was enough to win the day for HHH.

It had taken over a year between matches. The next one would be a few short months, albeit a different company brand.

Phase 8- DAMM that's a lot of blood.

The Violent Against God, Nature, And Art, Circle 7, Round 3

For October 2002 brought the WWE, and the first steps of the new 2 World Champions situation, thanks to Brock Lesnar picking one brand over the other. Smackdown over Raw, specifically. Thus, while Raw established the World Heavyweight Title, the WWE Title was now on Smackdown.

Thus, Undertaker, once again beloved, wanted it. The two men had fought at Unforgiven with no clear winner. Thus, the next logical step was the Cell at No Mercy. Thus, Brock (at the orders of his Agent Paul Heyman) broke Undertaker's hand, to ensure he couldn't win.

Unfortunately, they forgot to factor in both the wonderful drugs they have nowadays, and Undertaker's legendary ability to withstand pain (how else does he keep sitting up?). Thus, when the match occurred, Taker brawled, punching and throwing Brock around with seemingly no ill effects. In fact, Taker used the cast as a weapon, busting open Brock with it. Then when Heyman tried to reach in and help, Taker pulled him in, and busted HIM open too. Thus, with his Agent out of it, Brock went to the game plan, working the hand, despite another strategy obviously being needed, but remember, Brock at this point was still a little green, and not that smart.

But he cottoned on soon enough, and used the ring steps to bust Taker open.

Really, really open. Porn Star Of Your Choice's Legs Open. Blood was pouring out.

This seemed to drive Taker of all things, as he managed to powerbomb and chokeslam Brock, getting very close near falls. But in the end, Taker went to his big gun, the final straw, the Tombstone, but Brock was able to counter to the F5 and win the match, retain the title and bring the Blood back into Hell In A Cell.

Wait...

It was the next match that brought the real blood back.

Bad Blood.

Phase 9- Good Friends, Better Enemies...haven't I seen that before?

The Grafters, Circle 8, Bolgia 5

The PPV was aptly titled. It marked a milestone, as it was the first Brand Exclusive PPV, being a Raw Only PPV, albeit brought to you by both Eric Bischoff and Steve Austin. And thus, a big gun was needed.

You had HHH, World Champ, leader of Evolution, and all round no-goodnick.

You had the Hell In A Cell match, well known for being popular and violent.

And you had Kevin Nash, 7 foot tall bastard, who wasn't happy with HHH's current attitude and stuff.

And then you had Mick Foley, who had to be brought in to ref the match, since none of the Raw refs wanted to get involved after Ted White's career ending (kinda) shoulder injury in the last Raw HITC. Which goes to show that Smackdown Refs have more balls then Raw ones.

As for the match itself...

Punches.

Ring Post.

Cage.

Steel Chair.

Ring Steps.

Aluminium Tray from a tool box.

Ball peen hammer.

Cage.

Screwdriver. The tool, not the move. Nor the drink.

Barbed Wire 2X4.

An Apple Crate.

Sledgehammer.

Stairs.

Chair.

Mr. Socko.

Foley taking a Tim White-esque fall.

Some wrestling moves.

Sledgehammer.

Pedigree.

HHH wins.

Second Verse, same as the first...

Phase 10- Good Friends...wait, already used that.

Antenora, The Treacherous To Country, Circle 9, Round 2

A year later, at the 2004 Bad Blood, it was dйjа vu all over again. True, HHH didn't have the world title at this point, but that was moot. He was still ruling Raw, even if Benoit technically had the world title. He had Evolution, the girls, the money, the power, the whole eight yards.

Nine once he got the belt back.

And once again, there was an old friend, running buddy, call him what you will, someone from HHH's past who was not happy and wanted to take him down. Except this time, instead of a 7 foot monster in Kevin Nash, it was the smaller but much more dangerous Shawn Michaels.

That would be bad for HHH.

Thus, the two men were set to try and settle their problems (that had been going on for a while, neither man being able to get a win, their World Title matches ending in draws and then with Benoit wins in the 3 ways they had), in the battleground both men were undefeated in (well, unpinned in at least), Hell In A Cell.

And the tendencies of Nash and Michaels were quickly shown. HHH, for reasons only known to him, tends to fight on the other guys field as a rule. He tends to brawl with brawlers, wrestle wrestlers. Thus, whereas the Nash/HHH Cell match was filled with more weapons than your average WW2 Video Game, HBK/HHH was more about wrestling. Sure, they used weapons, a ladder, a table, the steps, and of course, as always, the Cell itself, but for the most part, they tried to outwrestle each other.

And they did so, for almost 50 minutes. By far the longest Hell In A Cell in history, neither man wanted to die, neither wanted to admit defeat. They threw everything at each other, kicking out of a Pedigree, out of a Sweet Chin Music. But in the end, HHH recovered first, and nailed a second Pedigree.

This allowed him time to recover, and hit the third and final Pedigree to win the match, and end the feud. He and Shawn were, for the moment done. HHH would leave the cell for the next guy he had a major problem with. Someone who wouldn't listen to reason, who wouldn't see his place, and who would, well, not accept what was best for him. Someone who would have to be taught a lesson...

Phase 11- You Talking To Him?

Judecca, The Treacherous To Their Masters, Circle 9, Round 4

Ah, Batista. Our chosen one, unlike Orton, who was forced upon us by fate. Orton was screwed over, and thus he chased HHH, and became our hero by default. But Batista, he we chose. We started to like him, and he seemed to enjoy the attention. This did not sit well with HHH, for obvious reasons (HHH is an egomaniacal douche, for instance). Thus, HHH tried everything he could think of to get Batista to go to Smackdown. Not because he was scared, no no no. Because that was what was best for Dave.

Yeah, right.

Dave didn't listen, and thus HHH/Batista at Wrestlemania went down, with Dave winning the World Title.

HHH then failed to regain the belt in his rematch a month later.

Thus, HHH was forced to draw his big guns. He got Batista nice and angry at him, and then challenged him to Hell In A Cell at Vengeance. This was his match, and thus he could finally get his belt back off Dave.

And HHH did outsmart Dave for a while. But Dave came back.

So HHH used a chain on Dave. But Dave came back.

So HHH used a barbed wire chair, which he obviously placed in advance, on Dave. But Dave came back.

So HHH used a sledgehammer on Dave. But Dave came back.

So HHH used the chain again on Dave. But Dave came back.

So HHH nailed the Pedigree on Dave. But Dave came back.

So HHH grabbed the sledgehammer as Dave picked him up for the Demonbomb, and was about to nail Dave. But Dave came back, and Demonbombed him first.

A pinfall later, and Batista had retained the World Title, beaten HHH 3 times straight, and became the second man to be undefeated in HITC's.

But whatever happened to the guy before Dave, who was forced upon us by Destiny before we picked Dave? Did he ever get in the cell? Of course he did. When? Just now.

Phase 12- Silly Little (Dork)Boy.

The Flatterers, Circle 8, Bolgia 2

Tim White attempting suicide (he'll be fine, remember, if he can't ref a match that doesn't involve two Canadians called Chris at a Wrestlemania, how the hell can he shoot himself? He will have missed.) set the tone for the match. Orton had been trying to end the career of Undertaker for months, and this was going to be the end of it, one way or another. This problem was getting a bullet to the head; it was just a matter of who would pull the trigger.

The young, brash, upstart 1 time world champ in his first HITC match who had the upper hand going in, and had his dad to help?

Or the old, solid, veteran 4 time world champ in his seventh HITC match, who always has the upper hand, given that he's damm near indestructible?

In the end, a lump of rock beats out a movie studio any day of the week.

For those of you not big on Cryptic Crosswords, the Tombstone beat RKO.

Phase 13- 2 on 3? That's not fair. Surely The McMahons and Show could have got the Spirit Squad in as well?

The Hypocrites, Circle 8, Bolgia 6

The Cell would take nearly a year to return, and when it did, it did so at the demand of the McMahon Boys. Reunited in their hatred of God and DX (which is appropriate on one level and kinda contradictory on the other), the McMahons wanted to teach HHH and Shawn Michaels a lesson about spray painting their logo onto things.

I think it was "Don't Do It" but it's hard to tell.

Regardless, Vince, Shane and new recruit Show went in expecting that, with the numbers on their side AND one of their numbers being gigantic Big Show, it would be a cakewalk.

An elbow drop Pillmanizing of Shane's neck quickly removed him from the equation, leaving just a giant and an old man against two World Champion calibre athletes. DX quickly took command, shoving Vince's face into Big Show's ass (DX big on Homosexual Rape at this point) then nailing a Sweet Chin Music into a Sledgehammer shot to pin Vince, end their feud and add in a rather bizarrely comedic Hell in the books. Luckily the next one would return somewhat to form.

Phase 14- Damm that Edge!

Ptolomea, The Treacherous To Guests And Hosts, Circle 9, Round 3

Another year passed, and this time a HITC was made with no real hatred involved. The Undertaker and Batista had fought many times over the past year for the World Heavyweight Title, and their record was somewhat even, with both men scoring a sole win over the other and several draws filling out the numbers. So, a rematch, one last time was made, Batista defending his World Title against The Undertaker, Survivor Series 2007, Hell In A Cell. The match, designed to find out just once and for all who the better man was, did so for nearly 20 minutes. And it appeared, after Batista kicked out of a Tombstone but then took another one onto the ring steps, that it would be Taker.

Then a cameraman pulled the ref out of the ring, and then attacked Taker. Thoughts of this being revenge for 10 years ago sprang into some people's heads, but then the cameraman revealed himself to be Edge. A quick brutal beatdown later, Edge draped Batista's lifeless pile of bones onto Taker, and Edge had fulfilled the Survivor Series Screwjob requirement.

Later on of course we found out the why, that Smackdown's GM Vickie Guerrero was getting herself some Edgey Goodness, and helped Edge screw over both men for several months afterwards. If only there was some way that Taker could get revenge on him... Oh wait!

Phase 15- The Cell finally lives up to it's name.

The Panderers And Seducers, Circle 8, Bolgia 1

A little under a year later, after screwjobs, injuries, firings, banned moves and several months worth of Edge going increasingly insane and Taker getting more and more pissy, the two men finally settled their grudge inside the Cell. And we still haven't seen Edge, and Taker's not been the same since that chokeslam to Hell he gave Edge. He's been more Stalkerish for a start. But then, the Cell does do that to people...

Today- Back you go, to wait for the next two men who despise each other.

Purgatorio

The Cell is packed up, sitting somewhere in a box, quietly, calmly. Right now, it's just a big pile of metal, sitting in a warehouse somewhere.

But eventually, 2 men will have problems. Or maybe 2 teams. Or god forbid, 2 women. Or maybe even 6 Superstars who all want a Title. Whoever they are, they'll just be unable to get along, unable to move on until they know, deep down, who is better. They might be a title involved, or just pride. But when it happens, the Cell will be ready.

And waiting.

Conclusion

It has seen the most brutal, violent and sick moments in WWE history. It's been the playground of the demented, the cold blooded and the cerebral. It's the holy grail of bloodshed, it's the final battleground, the last straw, there is no going back from here. It is the end, and you cannot help but be changed by it. Inside the steel, you will be tested, injured, bloodied and taken to the very limits of your soul.

And you might just find Paradiso. If you're good enough.

For Hell In A Cell is not where careers die.

It is where they are re-born