7:00am Wakes to what will be the most depressing day of his life
7:10am His breakfast cerealn does not stay crunchy in milk
7:20am Looking for matching pair of socks spray paints blue one black
7:25am Finds note slipped under door. Neighbours signed petition. All agree he stinks.
7:30am Stands in bath water ready to drop pluged in radio
7:32am Before he can drop redio he hears terrible news: CRABBY (concerd retirees against booze,bartenders and yodlers
7:45am To mad to think about suicied he sits in tempied bathwater /growles at cockrotch on soap
8:00am Opens bar before work crowed no one comes in not even Barny
8:35am Tv reports overturned Duff truck caused by CRABBY suffuling in/out of traffic. Barny runs around naked couvered in BEER
9:30am Closes tavern until later. As he walks to his car he is spotted by angry CRABBY protesters.He hops in his car, easily outruns electric scooters and walkers, only to discover backseat smashed and tyres deflated.
10:00am Walks to soup kitchen to finish reading book to homeless. Today: The study conclusion of the Da Vinci Code. As he reads he is suddently shocked to discover the last 20 pages of the book is ripped out Pretends to read, improved ending, based on movie he saw about Da Vinci.
10:30am Smelly vagrant ex-movie reviewer reveals Moe faking the Da Vinci Code ending, adding scenes from old movie 3 stooges 4versus Da Vinci. Moe escapes angry homeless mob, is pelted by shoes, spoons, wooden crosses, tepid bowls of soup of the day
10:45am Staggers to nearby park, lays down under tree, rests head against trunk, looks like depressed Charlie Brown.......albeit troll-like.
11:00am Officers Lou/Eddie aproach on park patrol/arrest Moe for vagrancy/possiboe squirrel abuse.
11:30am Joins naked, sloppily sentimental Barney in slammer. Hugged repeatedly, h tries to escape down toilet.
12:00pm eleased with citations for loitering/impersonating "Peanuts" character. Chief Wiggum allows Barney to leave wearing police uniforn, as long as he proises to return it very soon.
12:30pm Returnes to tavern to fined it blocked by unuraly CRABBY. Barny attemps to disband saniors with new cop powers
12:45pm Snecks into tavern through ground level celler window shreds bow tie on broken glass.
12:50pm Disstressed to discover prana bag sprung a leak FEARS smuglling pfofit lose.
1:00pm CRABBY has turned off water, Moe can not fill other plastic bag, puts paranas in toilet.
1:15pm Opens delivery recived yesterday. Incorrect shipment insted of 151 of rum recives 151 of regular rum and insted of frou-frou umbrelias recived big umbrellas
1:30pm Barflies Sam/Larry fight their way into bar with wounded Barney. Larry pours rum on wounds Barny then drinks 3 bottles of rum.
1:35pm Moe relises wast of rum. Colossel tug 'o' war takes place.
2:00pm A Cursing Moe wipes up pools of rum
2:30pm Group of dameds come in order troipical drinks. They flee after Moe tries to put in real umbrellas in glass
3:00pm Tavern gores willing to go through picket line begin to fill bar.
4:45pm CRABBY mambers identifi Moe as a bartender. Soon they have him boxed in.
5:00 to 10:00 last frw houres are hazy Moe wakes up in dumpster.
10:30pm Returnes home sees picture of maggie says Life is good