Well, it's been about a day since I've joined this thing, so I suppose I should get one of the big questions that no one asks out of the way: when did I get into wrestling?  It's a long, long, LONG short story.

It all started when I was five... or nine.  Being 19 now, that means I've been a fan of wrestling for either 10 or 14 years.  However, this is a time when things scared me easily.  Everything scared me: guns, knives, gang warfare taking place two houses down the street, murderous thieves making weekly rounds in the neighborhood next to ours, tap dancers, the French language... and even though only two of those fears were justified what I feared the most was death.  Yes, death, that unknown phenomenon that comes to all humans in time, because that was a point where people I knew were dropping like flies.  Even now they're dropping like flies, not quite as frequently however.  Anyway, I remember the first time I watched WWE, back when it was still WWF.  I was flipping through the channels, becoming a drooling slave to the moving picture box, and I stopped when I saw a bald man viciously beating an old guy in an ambulance.

This was the first time I had ever seen one of my idols, Stone Cold Steve Austin, beat someone stupid.  Who was he beating?  Vince McMahon.  Oh, that sweet, swet violent act, I fell in love with what I was seeing. 

And I thought to myself, "This is great."  Then... then I saw Mankind. 

Mankind scared me.  He was in a boiler room and taking about a lost uncle or something.  That hurt my soul.  Then I saw he was about to fight the Undertaker.

Now let me explain something, ladies and gentlemen: the Undertaker is a scary figure when you're so young.  He came out scary, went back scary, he was just the devil incarnate and I couldn't watch.

So I turned off the television and went to bed, ready to piss myself.  Next week, I was watching the **** again, growing more and more into the sport entertainment, until the Undertaker didn't scare me anymore; hell, he was the new guardian angel in my dreams, viciously murdering anyone who was against me. 

That's how I got into wrestling: scared to death and then embracing his character.  Then I embraced more of them.  Now... everytime I see a Subway sandwich I say, "Ha ha, you lose!" and run away with my finger in the sky.  That speaks for itself.  G'night, WWE Universe.  DiZ, out!